Kate Spencer > Quotes

“Memories fade like scars but they don’t disappear.”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“The good we find in others, is in you too. The faults you find in others are your faults as well. After all to recognise something you must know it ~ Unknown”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“That dichotomy is New York to me in a nutshell. Everything changes and somehow it still stays the same.”
― Kate Spencer, In a New York Minute

“These feelings don't just go away. They linger. Hover. They are with me always. Even at my most functioning...they are there, watching me. These emotions are my roommates now, bunking up beside me at night. They do not pay any rent...they are determinded to ruin me, and yet I can never fully evict them from my brain.

I have tried -- really tried -- to chip away at my grief...But lately, I've just given up. I'm finally giving it permission to breathe and exist...

Most days now, they lie dormant in me. Sometimes it gets so quiet in my brain I think they've finally packed up and left. But every year as the calendar rounds the corner to March and the anniversary of her death approaches, anger bubbles again...I rage over the smallest of things, screaming behind the steering wheel of my car when another driver forgets to use their blinker. At first I'm perplexed, and then I remember: it's here again. And I am still mad. So mad. I can starve it, avoid it, rationalize it, manage it, talk about it in therapy, and eat it up in neat little points value. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never lose this one simple truth: I want my mom. I am so f***ing mad that she's gone. And that feeling will never, ever die.”
― Kate Spencer, The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses

“Every thought leads to either love or fear ~ A Course in Miracles.”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“You need to get to a place within yourself that you can accept that what you are thinking, feeling and doing is creating what is going on around you. This understanding and realisation alone will change your life even if you don’t continue through the rest of the lessons your guides are bringing to you.”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“Her illness and death transformed my life in extraordinary ways. It changed everything.”
― Kate Spencer, The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it ~ Mark Twain”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“Fools take a knife and stab people in the back. The wise take a knife, cut the cord and free themselves from the fools." Unknown”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons Later

“These feelings don't just go away. They linger. Hover. They are with me always. Even at my most functioning...they are there, watching me. These emotions are my roommates now, bunking up beside me at night. They do not pay any rent...they are determined to ruin me, and yet I can never fully evict them from my brain.

I have tried -- really tried -- to chip away at my grief...But lately, I've just given up. I'm finally giving it permission to breathe and exist...

Most days now, they lie dormant in me. Sometimes it gets so quiet in my brain I think they've finally packed up and left. But every year as the calendar rounds the corner to March and the anniversary of her death approaches, anger bubbles again...I rage over the smallest of things, screaming behind the steering wheel of my car when another driver forgets to use their blinker. At first I'm perplexed, and then I remember: it's here again. And I am still mad. So mad. I can starve it, avoid it, rationalize it, manage it, talk about it in therapy, and eat it up in neat little points value. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never lose this one simple truth: I want my mom. I am so f***ing mad that she's gone. And that feeling will never, ever die.”
― Kate Spencer, The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses

“And I am still mad. So mad. I can starve it, avoid it, rationalize it, manage it, talk about it in therapy, and eat it up in neat little points value. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never lose this one simple truth: I want my mom. I am so f***ing mad that she's gone. And that feeling will never, ever die.”
― Kate Spencer, The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses

“And to the entire living, breathing, pulsating city of New York, I would be nothing without you. You are impossible to live in and impossible to live without. I will love you forever.”
― Kate Spencer, In a New York Minute

“When you judge another, you do not define them, you define yourself ~ Dr Wayne Dyer”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“I missed him terribly, not just when he was away, but when he was home too. It felt now like the version of him that I had fallen in love with had faded into someone different, and distant. Our relationship felt like a colour TV that had been converted back to black and white. The disconnection made my heart ache.”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“We were not at all a fit. But what I realized is that sometimes it can feel safer to be with the wrong person than to find someone who really feels right.”
― Kate Spencer

“~Be the heroine of your life, not the victim”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“Most days now, [the feelings] lie dormant in me. Sometimes it gets so quiet in my brain I think they've finally packed up and left. But every year as the calendar rounds the corner to March and the anniversary of her death approaches, anger bubbles again...I rage over the smallest of things, screaming behind the steering wheel of my car when another driver forgets to use their blinker. At first I'm perplexed, and then I remember: it's here again. And I am still mad.”
― Kate Spencer, The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses

“She had fallen out of love with me and was questioning if she'd ever been in love with me at all.”
― Kate Spencer

“~ I’m not interested in your knowledge, I’m interested in your intuition – that’s where genius resides ~ Alvaro Castagnet”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“New Hampshire was so often overlooked, overshadowed by the lush rolling hills and earnestly cool vibe of Vermont to its left and the breathtaking beauty of Maine on the right. It was the middle child of New England states; kind of weird, occasionally out of step, often forgotten. And yes, they did not require motorcyclists to wear helmets because of the whole live-free-or-die ethos, which was deeply rooted in every nook and cranny of the place. But to me it was magical; New Hampshire had an old soul. It was simple and complex, stoic and serene, and I felt utterly like myself when I was here.”
― Kate Spencer

“~ We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us ~ Joseph Campbell.”
― Kate Spencer, Twelve Lessons

“I didn’t say it out loud, but that was my New York in a nutshell: those special things that we share only with ourselves, the treasures whose done only we can see. The unremarkable street corners or nameless coffee shops that held worlds of their own.”
― Kate Spencer, In a New York Minute