John G. Hartness > Quotes

“Because we don't really sparkle.”
― John G. Hartness, Hard Day's Knight

“GREG ANNOUNCES HIS RESEARCH AS TO WHAT IS GOING ON:
'Alright I have a theory " he announced rejoining us and taking a healthy slug of scotch himself. "And if I'm right we're going to need more booze. And more ammo. And maybe an extra priest.”
― John G. Hartness, Hard Day's Knight

“especially when I’m alone in the middle of the night without any whiskey to dull the screams that echo through the dark hallways of my soul.”
― John G. Hartness, Hell Freezes Over

“There’s a rule of travel in the South—if you’re going to Hell, you’re gonna change planes in Atlanta. And no matter what time you drive through Atlanta, it’s rush hour and there’s a wreck on I-285.”
― John G. Hartness, Grits, Guns, & Glory

“He still wasn't looking at me, which meant I was still in trouble. I swear, sometimes this partnership is like being married. We fight all the time and neither one of us is getting married.”
― John G. Hartness, Hard Day's Knight

“That’s when it happened. I’d been waiting for the tragic slip for a couple hours. It’s the same mistake men over fifty with crew cuts always make with really smart women in their early thirties. They can hold it in for a while, but eventually there’s a misplaced “sweetheart” or “darling” or, when it gets really good, a “cupcake.”
― John G. Hartness, Quincy Harker: Year One

“HARD DAY'S KNIGHT'
For a skinny little gamer-geek he'd done a good job tying me up. I guess that's another thing we can thank the Internet for -- unlimited access to fetish porn has imporved the knot-tying ability of men who can't get dates.”
― John G. Hartness, Hard Day's Knight

“I mean it’s almost through with her. It’s killed her and has devoured almost everything it can. When it’s finished, it will leave Kayleigh and come out here looking for another meal. If that happens, it will be almost unstoppable, because it will have one foot in our world and one foot in Hell. Usually demons can’t stay in this world past sunrise, but not this one. It won’t be bound by normal demonic rules, and it will be very, very hungry. I need to destroy it while it’s still in your daughter.”
― John G. Hartness, Quincy Harker: Year One

“This isn't Dungeon & Dragons, dude. Just because I'm wearing black doesn't mean I have the Find & Remive Traps skill.”
― John G. Hartness, Knight Moves

“It’s worse than I thought.” “How bad is that?” His voice went up a little on the end, like he was fighting off panic. I didn’t blame him. I was a little, too, and it wasn’t my little girl up there. Of course, I did have to live in this dimension, so demons running loose sounded like a terrible idea to me. “Your daughter is dead. I’m very sorry.”
― John G. Hartness, Quincy Harker: Year One

“Dude you gota get over here Greg sounded more than a little freaked out but since Greg freaks out when he burns a Pop-Tart it didn't give me much to go on.”
― John G. Hartness, Hard Day's Knight

“Sometimes I wonder how men communicate with each other, since they always want to try to use two words to ask a ten-word question.”
― John G. Hartness, Amazing Grace

“The buzzer is to indicate that you're dead, not that you failed. You made the right choice. Sometimes there is no choice that has you walking out of a situation. When that happens, you save everyone you can and go down swinging.”
― John G. Hartness, Wampus Rumpus

“like Elvis Presley, so when I say it was the weirdest damn thing I ever saw, that”
― John G. Hartness, Bubba the Monster Hunter, Seasons 1-3

“This is your fearless leader? He couldn’t summon a cheeseburger at McDonald’s, much less bring about the end of the world.”
― John G. Hartness, Straight to Hell

“A problem like there is a little leak and I might get poop on my shoes, or a problem like this whole place could explode into a shit geyser in the blink of an eye?”

“Not sure yet.”
― John G. Hartness, ShXXtstorm

“Yeah, it was a sixth-circle idea that never really panned out. Like New Coke, just not quite evil enough to catch on.”
― John G. Hartness, Heaven Sent

“we don’t know half of what we think we know, and we understand less than half of that.”
― John G. Hartness, Amazing Grace

“The dishes in the sink weren’t yet sentient, but I’d have to consult Glory on the souls of fungus before I could wash anything with a clear conscience.”
― John G. Hartness, Straight to Hell

“Wanda looked around the room and gave the demon a calm smile. "Men need armies. I have a coven.”
― John G. Hartness, Unholy Ground

“So I got a job as a perma-sub for an English teacher on maternity leave and started looking for the source of the magic.”
― John G. Hartness, The Cambion Cycle: Quincy Harker, Year Two

“That’s the failing of most big groups,” Scorpion said. “The big dogs give an order, and nobody underneath gets to question it, they just have to do as they’re told. Kills creativity and makes them vulnerable. That’s what I used to do when I was hacking. I’d find a big company, one that had a huge IT department. I knew that the engineers weren’t making decisions, bookkeepers were, and that meant they’d be at least two years behind on security. Those were the easy scores.” “What about government servers?” Raptor asked. “Three years behind,” Scorpion said. “But the government doesn’t have nearly as much money as a big corporation, and they aren’t trying to hide most of it.”
― John G. Hartness, Raptor - A TECH Ops Novel

“We work for the government, but we could care less about any stills we might find."

"How on now," I said. "I'm real interested in stills."

"We aren't robbing bootleggers, Bubba." Amy didn't even look at me”
― John G. Hartness, Wampus Rumpus

“I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life. Some of them have gotten good people hurt, even killed. Many of them have caused immense property damage, and one was responsible for the extinction of an entire species of South American monkey.”
― John G. Hartness, Heaven's Door

“I love strippers, they have an uncomplicated view of life. You give them money, they show you boobies.”
― John G. Hartness, Scattered, Smothered, & Chunked

“That’s where I came in—the checking. I began the Catholic rites for exorcism, speaking slowly and under my breath, more to distract the demon than to actually try to pull it out of the girl.”
― John G. Hartness, Quincy Harker: Year One

“she showed up in my bedroom, yanking me from a particularly pleasant and very specific dream featuring her, a case of whipped cream, and three Daleks. Don’t ask.”
― John G. Hartness, The Black Knight Chronicles: Omnibus Edition, Books 1-3

“that complicates shit, and that means it’s going to get even messier before I leave. I’m sorry for that. I really am. It won’t stop me, or even slow me down, but I promise to add it to the list of things I regret when I can’t sleep at night. If that helps.” “Something tells me it”
― John G. Hartness, Salvation: Quincy Harker, Year Four

“I’m gonna figure this out and get you out of there. I promise.”

How can you promise that, Harker? You have no idea if you can cure her or not.

I never promised to get her out of there alive,”
― John G. Hartness, Red - Quincy's Version

“The blues is life, boy. It ain’t just the heartbeat of this country, it’s the heartbeat of the world. The blues has got everything. It’s got joy, and pain, and understanding, and rage, and heartbreak, and love, all wrapped up in something that’s halfway to Hell but sent straight from Heaven. The blues is everything, boy. Once you get your head wrapped around that, you’ll be able to walk through the world with a lot less scars.”
― John G. Hartness, Carl Perkins' Cadillac