Marie Sexton > Quotes

“I understand addiction now. I never did before, you know. How could a man (or a woman) do something so self-destructive, knowing that they’re hurting not only themselves, but the people they love? It seemed that it would be so incredibly easy for them to just not take that next drink. Just stop. It’s so simple, really. But as so often happens with me, my arrogance kept me from seeing the truth of the matter.
I see it now though.
Every day, I tell myself it will be the last. Every night, as I’m falling asleep in his bed, I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll book a flight to Paris, or Hawaii, or maybe New York. It doesn’t matter where I go, as long as it’s not here. I need to get away from Phoenix—away from him—before this goes even one step further.
And then he touches me again, and my convictions disappear like smoke in the wind.
This cannot end well. That’s the crux of the matter, Sweets. I’ve been down this road before—you know I have—and there’s only heartache at the end. There’s no happy ending waiting for me like there was for you and Matt. If I stay here with him, I will become restless and angry. It’s happening already, and I cannot stop it. I’m becoming bitter and terribly resentful. Before long, I will be intolerable, and eventually, he’ll leave me. But if I do what I have to do, what my very nature compels me to do, and move on, the end is no better. One way or another, he’ll be gone. Is it not wiser to end it now, Sweets, before it gets to that point? Is it not better to accept that this happiness I have is destined to self-destruct?
Tomorrow I will leave. Tomorrow I will stop delaying the inevitable. Tomorrow I will quit lying to myself, and to him.
Tomorrow.
What about today, you ask? Today it’s already too late. He’ll be home soon, and I have dinner on the stove, and wine chilling in the fridge. And he will smile at me when he comes through the door, and I will pretend like this fragile, dangerous thing we have created between us can last forever.
Just one last time, Sweets. Just one last fix. That’s all I need.
And that is why I now understand addiction.”
― Marie Sexton, Strawberries for Dessert

“Jared?” His fingers were playing gently in my curls.
“Yes?” I was more than halfway asleep, perfectly warm and content, back in my own bed. With him.
“Say it for me.”
“You’re heavy.”
“No.”
“You’re a manipulative bastard.”
“No.” He was laughing.
“You’re right.”
He gave one hard tug on my hair. “That’s not it either.”
“I love you?”
He sighed contentedly. “That’s the one.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“You can’t control what others think. The only thing you can control is yourself. Some people will look down on you for your choices in life, no matter what they are. You can’t do anything about that. The only thing you can do is decide how to live your own life. And to hell with everybody else”
― Marie Sexton

“I'm a mess," he said, halfway joking but halfway not. "I'm demanding and temperamental and I'm terribly high maintenance."

I laughed without even meaning to. "Do you honestly think I don't know all that by now?"

"Then how could you possibly love me?"

I held him tighter, kept kissing his neck. "How can I not?”
― Marie Sexton, Strawberries for Dessert

“The number of people who believe a thing has no bearing upon its truth.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“I loved him. It was a painful realization - so painful that it took my breath away - discovering that I was totally in love with this man who would never love me back.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“We walked in the door, and I was stunned by the sterile emptiness of the place. Most of the tiny living room was taken up by one of those giant strength-building home gyms you see on TV. In addition to that, there was one metal folding chair, an old wooden end table (being used as a coffee table, in front of the one chair), and a TV sitting on a milk crate. And it was the cleanest bachelor pad I had ever seen.
“Wow. Nice place. The prison cell motif is really working for you. Very feng shui.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“Technology had failed me. We could put a man on the moon and make computers that fit in my back pocket, but I still couldn't strangle anybody via telephone. Life really was a bitch.”
― Marie Sexton

“you can’t control what others think. The only thing you can control is yourself. Some people will look down on you for your choices in life, no matter what they are. You can’t do anything about that. The only thing you can do is decide how to live your own life. And to hell with everybody else.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“First, you don't have to be smart to read books. Lots of idiots read books. Trust me, the ability to read does not necessarily mean the ability to think.”
― Marie Sexton, A to Z

“Holy fucking understatement of the year, Batman”
― Marie Sexton, The Letter Z

“You already are the guy I deserve."
"No, Zach," he said, shaking his head. "I'm just the guy you love.”
― Marie Sexton

“Church doctrine has no place in secular law. You can't take away people's rights to meet your own religious criteria.”
― Marie Sexton, Between Sinners and Saints

“Appropriate is boring”
― Marie Sexton, Cinder

“just because it offends you doesn't mean it violates your rights. You don't have a right to not be offended”
― Marie Sexton, Between Sinners and Saints

“I have a sudden urge to pitch a tent in the back yard
tonight.”
― Marie Sexton , Promises

“You sayin' you want to go?"
"Don't you?"
"Hell no!"
"Okay,I'll tell Matt and Jared that they can go to Paris without us."
The only response was stunned silence, and I finally turned to smile at him. "Do you want to reconsider?" I asked.
"The wedding's in Paris?"
"Yep."
His dark eyes were huge, and I could see so much in them. He was excited, almost giddy. I could see it bubbling up in him, but he was trying t stay calm and not get his hopes up. "Can we afford Paris?"
"No," I said, "but it doesn't matter. Cole's footing the bill."
He grabbed my shirt and pushed me back against the countertop, almost as if he was going to kiss me, but stopped short, looking into my eyes. "Are you serious?"
"Would I lie to you about something like this?"
"No."
"Do you think I'd make it up just to tease you?"
"No."
"Yes."
He backed up a step. "Yes what?"
he asked.
I could hardly keep from laughing that I'd finally managed to turn the tables on him with his own backward form of communication. "Yes, I'm absolutely serious. Cole offered to fly us all to Paris."
...
His expression was so full of hope, I thought it was a good thing I hadn't tried to say no. He put his hand against my cheek and looked into my eyes. "Tell me what you want to do."
All I had to do was tell him the truth. I brushed his hair out of his eyes and said, "I want to do whatever will make you happy."
He smiled at me, the huge, excited smile of a child who woke up from his nap to find himself in Disneyland. "I want to go to Paris."
"Okay," I said as I leaned down to kiss him. "Then you will.”
― Marie Sexton, Paris A to Z

“Hey, Angelo?"
"What?"
"You wanna hang out some time?"
"You Think I got nothin' better to do?"
"It was just a thought, never mind."
"Yeah"
"Yeah, what?"
"Yeah I wanna hang out some time, see you tomorrow Zach”
― Marie Sexton, A to Z

“Jared?" His fingers were playing gently on my curls.
"Yes?" I was more than halfway asleep, perfectly warm, back in my own bed. With him.
"Say it for me."
"You're heavy."
"No."
"You're a manipulative bastard."
"No." He was laughing.
"You're right."
He gave one hard tug on my hair."That's not it either."
"I love you?"
He sighed contentedly. "That's the one.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“I think you want very much to make this black and white--to make us all out to be sinners or saints. But it's just not that simple. I think what you need to accept is that, just maybe, we're all something else. Maybe we're all something in between.”
― Marie Sexton, Between Sinners and Saints

“Everybody wants something, and everybody expects something. They never ask how I'm doing or if I'm happy. They don't ask what I want.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“Wanna hang out for a bit?"
"You tryin' to get in my pants now that you know I'm queer?" he asked in an impudent tone.
"No!"
"Yeah."
"Yeah, what?"
"Yeah, I wanna hang out." He smiled over at me.”
― Marie Sexton, A to Z

“None of them even know who they are. They're just acting out their roles. Being what their parents made them. Always trying to be what's expected. It's exhausting.”
― Marie Sexton, Promises

“Has it ever occurred to you," she asked Rachel, "that the constitutional amendment protecting your right to follow Mormon doctrine is the same amendment that's supposed to protect everybody else from being forced to live according to your religious beliefs?”
― Marie Sexton, Between Sinners and Saints

“I been in plenty of fights and even more almost-fights. It's all about posturin'. You just gotta act tough."
"What if it didn't work? What if he took a swing at you?"
"Sensai say, 'Big like door, swift like glacier'.”
― Marie Sexton, A to Z

“What the hell happened to your leg?" Ang asked him.
Matt looked down at his shin, which was scraped and oozing and seemed to be caked in mud. "Crashed."
"Crashed what?" Ang asked.
"My mountain bike. We just got back."
"You crashed, then what? Rolled in dirt?"
He laughed. "Something like that actually. It's not a successful ride if you don't bleed." He must not have noticed the look of horror on my face, because he asked, suddenly enthusiastic, "You guys ride?"Angelo and I just looked at each other, and he seemed to realize that was a "no." "Too bad. Well, make yourselves at home. Beer's in the fridge. I have to get cleaned up. Kickoff's in ten minutes."
"Football?" Angelo asked.
Matt looked at his as if he had just asked if the sky was really blue. "Yeah! First game of the regular season!" We just stared blankly at him, and he just laughed and disappeared down the hall.
Angelo looked at me with a smile on his face. "Four fags watchin' football. Must be pretty fuckin' cold in hell right now.”
― Marie Sexton, A to Z

“You accept that the shadows on the wall are real, love. I have no idea how to make you turn around and see the light.”
― Marie Sexton, Strawberries for Dessert

“I realized something on the ride. I realized if I wait until I'm not scared to try new things, then I'll never get to try them at all.”
― Marie Sexton, Between Sinners and Saints

“He'd tried so hard to fight his fear, but there was a something liberating about giving up the battle and recognizing his fear was part of him. It wasn't something to be exorcised. It wasn't something to be obeyed. It needed only to be acknowledged.”
― Marie Sexton, Between Sinners and Saints

“«Cosa c’è?»
Gli occhi di Seth erano spalancati e per la prima volta trovarono subito lo sguardo di Abaddon. «Posso vedere!»
Abaddon sorrise, pensando che avrebbe dovuto immaginarlo. «Cambierò davanti a loro le tenebre in luce e i luoghi tortuosi in pianura.»
«E tu?» chiese Seth posandogli una mano sulla guancia. «I tuoi occhi sono normali. E sono bellissimi. Sei tenebra diventata luce?»
Abaddon gli prese la mano e se la mise sul petto. «Sono un uomo dannato che è stato salvato.»
«Ti sembrerà una domanda stupida, ma... La mia anima appartiene ancora a Dio?»
Abaddon scoppiò a ridere. «Senza dubbio.» Prese Seth fra le braccia e lo baciò. «E la mia appartiene a te»”
― Marie Sexton, Damned If You Do