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“Opportunity may knock, but Death always rings, for he is perfectly aware that sometimes even the hardest of door poundings may go unheard from within, particularly when there is a vacuum running.”
― Clayton Smith
tags: humor
“Don't you try to pacify me!" screamed Grandpa Joe, waggling a finger at her. "I know when something's afoot! And something's definitely afoot!”
― Clayton Smith
tags: humor
“Mincemeat is decidedly British in its nature and can therefore be disregarded entirely where most civilized palates are concerned.”
― Clayton Smith
tags: humour
“It was a Wednesday, but it was a holiday, and Hattie was spending her day off from the local library (bookish by curling up on her favorite understuffed sofa with her newest purchase - a dime-store romance novel featuring bare-chested, oiled down pirates ("bookish" need not always be confused with literary") - and one of her two cats, the calico one named Mimsy.”
― Clayton Smith
tags: humor
“Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.”
― Clayton Smith
“Thought you could steal the pepper, did you?! Thought you could try darning my socks while I was asleep, did you?! I wanted those holes there, you little bastard! I wanted those holes there!" He throttled the duck and swung it up and down, whumping it on the table.”
― Clayton Smith
tags: humor

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