Megan Boyle > Quotes

“Something was comforting about strangers—it seemed like they would exist forever as the same, unknowable mass.”
― Megan Boyle

“being sick feels like you're wearing someone else's glasses”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“i wish i had 15-20 cats that would serve as a blanket, like if i moved they would adjust to my new position, that would be good”
― Megan Boyle

“i am still unsure of what 'life to the fullest' for me would be, mostly i just try to be well-liked in social situations and not die”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“i want to fall backwards into a pit of bioluminescent pokémon”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“i wish cats could float around your head”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“i could never be a sports writer, unless my assignment was to write 'sports sports sports sports sports' for three pages”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“tom clancy probably wears a baseball hat when he has sex”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“people like to see will smith reacting to aliens”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“my cat is always looking at me like i am forgetting something crucial and he depends on it”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“most psychologists/philosophers we've learned about have experienced severe depressions, attempted suicide, were considered 'freaks' or 'insane' by their peers, locked themselves in their rooms, felt socially isolated, were either celibate or extremely promiscuous, and rarely found 'love”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“For about four years, I’ve been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates sour cream. I told him I hated it too so we could have a funny thing in common.”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“If someone asks me where I bought something I’m wearing, I will usually say I don’t remember.”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“Feel completely unable to do anything. Try to picture your life in five years. It really seems like you will be dead.”
― Megan Boyle

“i had a dream that there were these huge indoor swimming pools called 'lobbies' that poor people used to do mass amounts of laundry”
― Megan Boyle

“i want to interrupt a game of magic the gathering by busting through a wall on a motorcycle”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“i want to pull very long, multi-colored strings out of my brain and place them next to a bowl of doritos at a party”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“argued for an hour on the telephone. now looking at pictures of carbs”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“A 5’5”, 182-pound, 43-year-old man wearing khaki shorts and a UCLA sweatshirt runs to Nicolas Cage in a manner he will spend the rest of the night describing to his slightly bored but equally boring date as “ambushing.” No one else is on the street and Nicolas Cage is unable to avoid the man, who wants a picture with his “brand new Droid.” As the man, who actually seems to be vibrating and hovering in an almost hummingbird-like way, adjusts his stance for the third attempt at a picture his crotch lightly brushes Nicolas Cage’s upper thigh, causing his face to shift from “bemused resignation” to, strangely, “serene bliss,” for what will become the man’s inaugural Facebook profile picture.”
― Megan Boyle

“Anne has small superstitions which she uses to dispel anxieties. For instance, if she can make it to the fourth stain on the carpet by the time the elevator door closes, that means Nate has thought positively about her today, and there is a future where they know each other. It becomes a one-sided competition when a negative consequence is imagined: if she cannot touch two different kinds of tile with her feet by the time the toilet flushes, that means she said something crucially “wrong” in an email, and Nate will never contact her again. She doesn't keep track of which side is winning.”
― Megan Boyle

“i want to go to the gym
and pretend the weight machines are drums
and play the longest drum solo on them”
― Megan Boyle

“john stuart mill knew several languages, advanced math and read many great books' before he was ten years old. his father taught him. in his early twenties he had a nervous breakdown and didn't leave his bed for three years. he read poetry and at started to feel better. he was a feminist and cared about human rights. five people went to his funeral”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“when i go outside i try to mentally will the world to 'missed connect' me. i make subtle eye contact with people and think 'you need to craigslist me, you need to craigslist me, you need to craigslist me' at them very hard”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“i wish you could take a 'plan b' pill for after you eat a lot of organic cheese puffs and your stomach hurts and you don't want to be fat tomorrow”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“shrimp and green peppers are shriveling in my refrigerator”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“tried to screenshot the reflection of my face in computer and was shocked a little, to not see myself in the screenshot, like that meant i’m dead maybe.”
― Megan Boyle, LIVEBLOG

“sometimes my laugh in front of others becomes unnaturally loud, like something in my brain tripped over a volume cord”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“what is 'being in love,' are the feelings present when I feel like i am 'in love' of the same quality and quantity that other people feel when they feel like they are 'in love?' if I was never told there was some thing I needed called 'love' would i feel like i need to have it?”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“a world where i only have to touch people if we're romantically involved is ideal for me. it would be nice to never have to coordinate a hand-shake or fist-bump or 'hello/goodbye' hug ever again”
― Megan Boyle, selected unpublished blog posts of a mexican panda express employee

“in the past i’ve thought i could increase probability of airplane landing safely if i’d listen to weird al or other unrealistic music to die to.”
― Megan Boyle, LIVEBLOG