Lisa Shearin > Quotes

“Whoever said ignorance is bliss must have died a horrible death with a really surprised look on his face.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“Sometimes I hated it when I was right, but I always hated it when someone else was. Especially when their being right made me wrong. I’m irrational that way. It’s something I’m working on.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“Most girls get flowers or candy. I get a declaration of martial law.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“Michael was still an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, coated in yum. Only now the enigma was a little less mysterious; I was a few clues closer to solving the riddle - but damn, that man would always be coated in yum.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“It's not treason if you win.”
― Lisa Shearin, Bewitched & Betrayed

“My family's big on denial. And if we denied something long enough, we thought it'd go away. I know that's not how it works, but we're in denial about that, too.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“I'd heard that if you saw a Reaper, you saw what you expected to see, what you thought the agents of Death would look like. Personally, I wanted to see little, fuzzy pink bunnies, but apparently my subconscious visualized tall, scary, and skeletal. My subconscious and I needed to have a long talk.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“There was a momentary lull in the shooting and spellslinging, and the kid started scrambling to his feet. I grabbed his arm and pulled him back down. “In my family that’s not silence; it’s reloading.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“Tam considers me a challenge. I consider Tam a work in progress. I also think there's a gentleman lurking under that calculating exterior. Tam thinks 'gentleman' is a dirty word. I talk dirty to Tam every chance I get.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“You wearing a thigh sheath?”
“Now what would be the sense of wearing just one? I have two thighs.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“I just had his hand in a vise,” I protested indignantly. “It wasn’t like I had a dagger in his ribs. ‘Hand in a vise’ is simple assault or, in my case, self-defense. ‘Dagger in the ribs’ is attempted murder. My family did teach me the difference.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“To find the Scythe of Nen, I first had to find possibly the most elusive quarry I'd ever had to locate in my entire seeking career: a virgin on an island full of college students.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“Mychael said the rock’s not affecting you, and from what I’m seeing I’m inclined to agree.”
“I beg to differ.”
“Feeling evil?” Justinius asked.
“No.”
“Having an urge to overthrow governments, kill thousands?”
“No and no.”
“Take over the world?”
“Too much work.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“The Guardian's eyes widened with amazement, and he tightened his grip on me. He had my arms, so the action I was forced to take was entirely his fault. It was as direct as my previous action, but not nearly as polite.
In the next instant, the Guardian was on his knees trying to remember how to breath.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“Mychael Eiliesor. Guardian paladin, sacred protector, master spellsinger, fashion consultant.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“Vegard and Riston's job today was to guard and protect me. And considering that I was in a tower room in the Guardians' citadel, it looked like a pretty plum assignment. I mean, how much trouble could a girl get into under heavy guard in a tower room? Notice I didn't ask that question out loud. No need to rub Fate's nose in something when I'd been tempting her enough lately.

Phaelan had generously his guard services as well, just in case something happened to me that my Guardian bodyguards couldn't handle. Phaelan's guard-on-duty stance resembled his pirate-on-shore-leave stane of leaning back in a chair with his feet up, but instead of a tavern table, his boots were doing a fine job of holding down the windowsill. I don't know how I'd ever felt safe without him.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical

“Grandma said that a skillet’s good for three things: frying chicken, baking corn bread, and going upside an obstinate man’s head.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Dragon Conspiracy

“I was used to shooting beer cans off the back of an old washing machine, or at things that ran away from me that I intended to eat—not things that ran toward me with the intent of eating me.

I’d found that to be a significant difference.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Grendel Affair

“I knew there was evil in the world. Death and taxes were all necessary evils.
So was shopping.
"I hate shopping," I muttered.
"Of course you do," Phaelan said. "You're a Benares, [the daughter of a long line of professional thieves]. We're not used to paying for anything." Phaelan was my cousin; he called himself a seafaring businessman. Law enforcement in every major city called him "that damned pirate," or less flattering epithets, none of them repeatable here.
...
"Have you considered something in scarlet leather?" Phaelan mused from beside me.
"Have you considered just painting a bull's eye on my back?" I retorted.
My cousin wasn't with me because he liked shopping. He was by my side because being within five feet of me was a guarantee of getting into trouble of the worst kind. Phaelan hadn't plundered or pillaged anything in weeks. He was bored. So this morning, he was a cocky, swaggering invitation for Trouble to bring it on and do her worst.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“I decide that we could always indulge ourselves later. First, I had a soul-eating stone of power to poke with a stick.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“You know it’s going to be a bad day when you can’t get privacy inside your own head.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“When it came to maintaining a reputation, facts were fleeting but you could ride a rumor for years.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“I wouldn't be comfortable, but at least I'd have marginal protection against pointy steel objects that went stab in the night.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“Sir, come quick. They've found a body in the canal."
I blew out my breath. Saved by the corpse.
...The corpse in question was Nigel Nicabar.
The watchers had collected the bodies found in Nigel's house, garden, and canal, and put them in the greenhouse located at the back of the garden. The necromancer's talents weren't with living things, so the greenhouse's tables were pretty much empty - at least of plants. Dead goblins lay under sheets and tarps. I couldn't help feeling that Nigel would have approved. What he wouldn't have approved of was being included among them. Nigel wouldn't have been caught dead surrounded by goblins, yet that's exactly how and where he was. I don't think he would have appreciated the irony.”
― Lisa Shearin, Magic Lost, Trouble Found

“I have a reputation to maintain."
"Best-dressed pirate?”
― Lisa Shearin, Con & Conjure

“Michael was still an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, coated in yum.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“I stand guard,” Yasha said. He got out of the SUV and pulled a sawed-off shotgun out from under his seat.
“And keep our exit open,” Ian told him.
Yasha grinned crookedly. “Don’t I always?” He looked at me and his grin broadened. “Scream if something jumps at you.”
I tried for a grin; it felt more like a grimace. “Don’t I always?”
― Lisa Shearin, The Grendel Affair

“Close up gave me a nice view of Mychael, and as always, he was damned good to look at. His eyes were that mix of blue and pale green found only in warm, tropical seas. His hair was short and auburn. His handsome features were strong, and his face scruffy with stubble. Very nice. Sexy nice. I guess having demons on your island didn’t give you time to shave. Mychael was an elf, and the tips of his ears were elegantly pointed. I’d felt the urge to nibble those tips on more than one occasion, but I didn’t think now was the time or place.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Trouble with Demons

“It had been branded with a single hoofprint. Though considering the presence of the sulfur smell, I figured we weren’t dealing with a homicidal cow.”
― Lisa Shearin, The Brimstone Deception

“Do you trust me?” Tam said it almost too softly to be heard.
I hesitated, sighed, then reached down and took his hand. Tam’s fingers wrapped warm and strong around mine. The magic sparked between us, though this time it was warm and tingling, not violent and lustful.
“Though you’re the last thing I need,” I muttered.
I heard the smile in his voice. “But I’m the first thing you want.”
― Lisa Shearin, Armed & Magical