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“We depend on one another in very deep and complex ways, yet most boundary discussions are focused on how to cut off or distance ourselves from unwanted behaviors or people. ... Boundary work is just as much about negotiating and asking for what we want and need as what we don’t want and don’t need. To this end, if we are working towards not just our own individual safety but towards changing the conditions in which people are not safe or are harmed, boundaries are about imagining radical possibilities as much as responding to events in the present.”
― Living In Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self-Care and Social Change
― Living In Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self-Care and Social Change
“Believing that it is acceptable to walk away, halt, interrupt, stop, redirect and end an interaction is critical to boundary setting and boundary heath.”
― Living in Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self Care and Social Change
― Living in Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self Care and Social Change
“Explaining justifying or defending a boundary can be distracting, emotionally (and physically) draining and weaken resolve. If someone is so busy explaining why a boundary is valid, they may not be aware of how their boundary is being chipped away at. Or, if a person is defending a boundary and can’t come up with a reason why their boundary is “good” or reasonable, they may not know how to maintain it.”
― Living in Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self Care and Social Change
― Living in Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self Care and Social Change
“Often people either don't want to, or aren't used to seeing women angry. Not emotional ,not upset, just angry. Not reactionary anger, necessarily, the anger of just being a woman. My anger serves me. It gives me a lot of energy. Sometimes, it hurts, which is the flip side of the same coin. But, I'm happy. I like my life. I like being free to express my rage.”
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“Repeating a directive can also help keep focus on what the other person is doing in response to a boundary, rather than on defending, explaining or justifying the boundary. Being aware of what the other person is saying and doing informs how one responds to the other persons response to the boundary. The person might be saying one thing and doing another, which is helpful to recognize.”
― Living in Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self Care and Social Change
― Living in Liberation: Boundary Setting, Self Care and Social Change
