Greg Fitzsimmons > Quotes

“Besides, my taste in porn has calmed down a lot since I was young. As a twenty-year-old, I resented any dialogue or attempt at a story whatsoever. I just wanted the sex. Now that I'm forty-four, I kind of want the story. Who are these two? How did they meet? Are they in love? Will the Japanese girl's parents approve of these three giant black guys?”
― Greg Fitzsimmons

“Eventually my father bought a vacation house for us in Port Saint Lucie, Florida. My dad's friend had died, so my father bought the house from his widow. We would go down there once a year, and my father believed that he had bought a good investment property. Twelve years later he would sell it at a loss. Almost immediately after the sale, Club Med built a resort there near where the New York Mets would set up their spring training camp soon after. I've tracked articles since then about how Port Saint Lucie has had the fastest growing home prices in the country. When I told my friends at Rye Country Day that we had bought a second home in Florida, they were unimpressed because it was not Palm Beach. When I told my friends in Tarrytown that we had bought a house in Florida, they were sad and asked me when my family was moving. Gosh, poor people can be really dumb sometimes.”
― Greg Fitzsimmons, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons: Tales of Redemption from an Irish Mailbox

“I continued going to therapy, attending twelve-step meetings, and masturbating; anywhere I could find answers. A year later, I knew I could safely abandon all of this touchy-feely "healing" bullshit, because things began heating up in my career.”
― Greg Fitzsimmons, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons: Tales of Redemption from an Irish Mailbox

“One of the many perks that came with the apartment was a life insurance policy issued by Tony at least once every time I talked to him: "Anybody bothering you, you tell me. I'll take care of it. I know people. You don't know who I know, but I know people." This was reassuring, as I knew that the Spagnolis had been robbed one Christmas morning and Tony had been stabbed by the fleeing assailant. The story goes the guys who did it were taken care of. That's it.”
― Greg Fitzsimmons, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons: Tales of Redemption from an Irish Mailbox

“When Dad passed away, I tracked down Deirdre in Alaska and sent her a ticket to return home. For the previous four years she'd been traveling across the country, heading west, and Alaska is as far as you can go without becoming a Communist.”
― Greg Fitzsimmons, Dear Mrs. Fitzsimmons: Tales of Redemption from an Irish Mailbox