Ellen L. Walker > Quotes

“Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or Chance

“I suppose it's not unusual for parents who are crazy about their kids, and for adults who are really into children in general, to view with suspicion those who have chosen a childfree life. Unfortunately, this perception seems to be growing, as is the divide between the childfree and parents. Parents are often left awestruck when adults say out loud that their childfree status is actually by choice, and that they never experienced the babylust they observe in others.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Rationalization involves explaining losses and coming up with logical reasons for them; we even convince ourselves that we did not want to have these things anyway.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“I had a client many years ago who'd had something go wrong physically in her early twenties and she was crazed about not being able to have kids. She always had a big empty hole, and she ended up killing herself. She could not deal with her inability to have children.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Childfree adults deserve to live the richest life possible without being critiqued, and it's likely that the option to be childfree will become more embraced by society as more childfree adults speak out about their lives without kids. No one can predict the future, but there are numerous reasons to predict that not having kids will continue to be a growing trend.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“I define balance as the ability to make time for fun, work, rest, relationships, creativity, spirituality, healthy eating, and exercise”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“In the words of Joan Baez, “You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“According to Gladwell, “The world around you may seem like an immovable, implacable place, but it's not. With the slightest push, in just the right place, it can be tipped.”28”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“I firmly believe that in the next one hundred years the earth is going to become a very unpleasant place. I've always felt this way, though, filled with gloom and doom. Humans have made a mess of things, and every day they prove how much more of a mess we are willing to make of it. Parents are too busy to contemplate it. Humans almost always choose the irresponsible shortcut rather than acting responsibly!”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Another idea Gladwell discusses in The Tipping Point is The Law of the Few, which states that there are exceptional people out there who are capable of starting epidemics.27 He also describes The Lesson of Stickiness, which proposes that there is a simple way to package information that, under the right circumstances, makes it irresistible. What must underlie successful epidemics, in the end, is a bedrock belief that change is possible and that people can radically transform their behavior or beliefs in the face of the right kind of impetus.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Up to this point, most vocal childfree adults have been perceived as negative and child-hating. For example, the childfree social group No Kidding! tends to be perceived as anti-children. My hope is that we, as childfree adults, will begin to be viewed as a group that is not opposed to having kids and that our life choice will be celebrated. One”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Jill's social circle of well-educated women who acknowledged that many of their pregnancies were not planned flies in the face of the idea that this only happens to immature teens. I personally believe that, although they are reticent to admit it, many otherwise responsible people become pregnant by accident, simply because they did not make not getting pregnant a top priority.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“When I was eleven, my mom had a baby, and I spent my teenage years as the unpaid live-in babysitter, which basically sealed the deal on my decision to not have children.” Nicole's childhood was painful for her, and this probably resulted in her closing the door on the possibility that she might want to be a mother. She was not willing to consider that raising children might be a pleasurable experience for both parent and child.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“The expectation in our society is that after you've dated for some magical time period, you will get married, and the marriage will be followed by having children. Each person and each couple is unique in their desires and goals in life. Being married or reproducing is not nearly as important as having a happy, healthy relationship with a person you truly love and respect. I see some people getting these priorities turned around.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Cognitive dissonance is a psychological term described as the uncomfortable feeling that results when a person holds two contradictory attitudes or beliefs at the same time.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“we cannot have or do it all. We have to make tough choices in our lives. Most of us cannot train for a marathon, work sixty hours a week building a career, fully embrace the task of parenting a child, and be a nurturing friend all at the same time. We have to choose the direction we want to take our lives. There are no right or wrong paths, simply different ones. Parents must give up some other paths they may have taken had they not had children. Those of us who are childfree will never have the life experience of being a parent. Even for those who very much wanted to have children, but by chance or biology could not, there is no reason to not find purpose and fantastic enjoyment in life.”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like.” —Will Rogers”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance

“Some Negative Reasons People Have Children: Babylust The Biological Clock Pressure from Media, Family, and Friends Fear of Missing Out Proving Our Parenting Skills Avoiding Being Mislabeled or Misunderstood Idealization of Child Rearing”
― Ellen L. Walker, Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance