Frank B. Gilbreth Jr. > Quotes

“Dad himself used to tell a story about one time when Mother went off to fill a lecture engagement and left him in charge at home. When Mother returned, she asked him if everything had run smoothly.
Didn't have any trouble except with that one over there,' he replied. 'But a spanking brought him into line.'
Mother could handle any crisis without losing her composure.
That's not one of ours, dear,' she said. 'He belongs next door.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Dad took moving pictures of us children washing dishes, so that he could figure out how we could reduce our motions and thus hurry through the task. Irregular jobs, such as painting the back porch or removing a stump from the front lawn, were awarded on a low-bid basis. Each child who wanted extra pocket money submitted a sealed bid saying what he would do the job for. The lowest bidder got the contract.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“I give nightly praise to my Maker that I never cast a ballot to bring that lazy, disreputable, ill-tempered beast into what was once my home. I'm glad that I had the courage to go on record as opposing that illegitimate, shameless flea-bag that now shares my bed and board. You abstainer, you!”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Ernestine used to remark, in a tone tinged with envy, that Lill was probably New Jersey's youngest gold digger, and that few adult gold diggers ever had received more, in return for less.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Although a graduate of the University of California the bride is nonetheless an extremely attractive young woman.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Not the penultimate, nor yet the ante-penultimate,” said Mother. “But the ultimate.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Dad, who knew that Mother’s favorite poet was Browning and suspected where the Robert came from, nevertheless bunched the fingers of his right hand, kissed their tips, and threw his hand into the air. “Ah, Robert,” he intoned, “if I could but taste the nectar of thy lips.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“One of the girls devised a method of stamping envelopes which enabled her to work at a speed of between one hundred and one hundred and twenty envelopes per minute …. We do not know just what processes were followed in developing the method, as the girl studied it out and put it in operation while the writer was taking a vacation.”
― Frank Gilbreth Jr.

“I forgot to take off the inside lens cap cap... P.S. I quit."
Dad threw off the covers and reached for his bathrobe. For the first time in two weeks he spoke:
"I'll track him down to the ends of the earth," he croaked. "I'll take a blunt hook and pull his tonsils out by the byjingoed roots, just like I promised him. He doesn't quit. He's fired.”
― Frank Gilbreth Jr.

“Some simpleton with pimples in his voice wants to speak to Ernestine," he grumbled to Mother when he answered the phone.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Now, suddenly, she wasn’t afraid anymore, because there was nothing to be afraid of. Now nothing could upset her because the thing that mattered most had been upset. None of us ever saw her weep again.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“the”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“Jesus Christ," he screamed, as if he had been saving this oath since his wedding day for just such an occasion. "Holy Jesus Christ. Who did that?”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey

“Jesus Christ," he screamed, as if he had been saving this oath since his wedding day for just such an occasion. "Holy Jesus Christ. Who did that?"
"Mercy Maud," said Mother, which was the closest she ever came to swearing, too.
Bill, who was six and always in trouble anyway, was the only one with nerve enough to laugh. But it was a nervous laugh at that.
"Did you see the birdie, Daddy?”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey

“To multiply forty-six times forty-six, you figure how much greater forty-six is than twenty-five. The answer is twenty-one. Then you figure how much less forty-six is than fifty. The answer is four. You square the four and get sixteen. You put the twenty-one and the sixteen together and the answer is twenty-one sixteen, or 2,116.

To multiply forty-four times forty-four, you figure how much greater forty-four is than twenty-five. The answer is nineteen. Then you figure how much less forty-four is than fifty. The answer is six. You square the six and get thirty-six. You put the nineteen and the thirty-six together, and the answer is nineteen thirty-six, or 1,936.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“To multiply forty-six times forty-six, you figure how much greater forty-six is than twenty-five. The answer is twenty-one. Then you figure how much less forty-six is than fifty. The answer is four. You square the four and get sixteen. You put the twenty-one and the sixteen together and the answer is twenty-one sixteen, or 2,116.

To multiply forty-four times forty-four, you figure how much greater forty-four is than twenty-five. The answer is nineteen. Then you figure how much less forty-four is than fifty. The answer is six. You square the six and get thirty-six. You put the nineteen and the thirty-six together, and the answer is nineteen thirty-six, or 1,936.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr.

“But it was Mother who spun the stories that made the things we studied really unforgettable. If Dad saw motion study and teamwork in an ant hill, Mother saw a highly complex civilization governed, perhaps, by a fat old queen who had a thousand black slaves bring her breakfast in bed mornings. If Dad stopped to explain the construction of a bridge, she would find the workman in his blue jeans, eating his lunch high on the top of the span. It was she who made us feel the breathless height of the structure and the relative puniness of the humans who had built it. Or if Dad pointed out a tree that had been bent and gnarled, it was Mother who made us sense how the wind, eating against the tree in the endless passing of time, had made its own relentless mark.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr., Cheaper by the Dozen

“He took Mother for a ride in his first automobile, some early ancestor of Foolish Carriage. As Dad and Mother, dressed in dusters and wearing goggles, went scorching through the streets of Boston, bystanders tossed insults and ridicule in their direction...
..."Say, Noah, what are you doing with that Ark?"
That did it. Dad slowed the car and cocked his checkered cap belligerently over one eye.
"Collecting animals like the good Lord told me," he screamed back. "All I need is a jackass. Hop in.”
― Frank B. Gilbreth Jr. and Ernestine Gilbreth Carey