Laura Barnard > Quotes

“See, this is why I work. So that I can afford wine.”
― Laura Barnard, The Debt & The Doormat

“Duh!’ she says, as if I’m stupid. ‘We’d buy a big butch van, get a goat and adopt a couple of albino children. That's the dream, right?”
― Laura Barnard, The Debt & The Doormat

“Rose, if you ever find love, cling to it. Everything else can be saved for another day, but love is the one thing you’ll regret letting go.”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“He looks at me seriously. ‘Rose, no matter what you might think, I’m not being a perfect gentleman here. I will fuck you.’ My mouth gapes open. ‘But when I do, you will be completely sober, you’ll be officially mine, and there won't be anyone else in the house to hear us, because, believe me; you’ll make a lot of noise.”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“Darling, the wedding is only a day. The marriage is for life. That’s where the investment should be placed.”
― Laura Barnard, Adventurous Proposal

“And it’s like my mum always said, be with a man that ruins your lipstick, not your mascara.”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“Girls aren’t supposed to poo. They’re supposed to shoot unicorn glitter. At least that’s what guys are supposed to think.”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“unlock the door and creep into the hallway, cursing as my dirty feet leave marks on the beige carpet. This whole house is beige. My parents are beige. Boring and normal. The idea of being stuck here with them on a Friday night is enough to send shivers down my spine. Even worse than the idea of spending”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“Shut up!’ I hiss, shoving her. ‘And stop talking about my tits!’ ‘Make the most of them,’ Betty chuckles. ‘Before you know it you’ll be tucking them into your socks.”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“I storm out of the office, past the protestors, covered in paint head to toe. I don't have a job, but my God I have my own self-respect. I might not have the love of my life but I can no longer live in fear of thrown staplers hitting my head. This is the right thing. I’m almost sure. Either that or I’m having a nervous breakdown.”
― Laura Barnard, The Debt & The Doormat

“round”
― Laura Barnard, Tequila and Tea bags

“I don't need space!  I hate space. I just want him and I’ve messed it all up.”
― Laura Barnard, The Debt & The Doormat