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“I broke my arm in 3 places so I wont be going back to those places.”
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“My siamese twins moved to England so the other one could drive.”
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“You know you have had a productive day when you run out of semen.”
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“My father was a Filipino contortionist who was known as the Manilla Folder.”
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“I have hair in places monkeys dont.While giving birth my mother almost dies from rug burn.”
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“There is nothing more bitter than an opportunist who miscalculates.”
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