David Downing > Quotes

“the remark of a Middlesex Regiment officer in 1918. “Intelligence services,” the man had said, “are prone to looking up their own arses and wondering why it’s dark.”
― David Downing, Zoo Station

“All the governments were telling their soldiers that they had God and right on their side, and that dying for their country was the least they could do, but – well, think about it – what does it mean, dying for your country? What exactly is your country? The buildings and the grass and the trees? The people? The way of life? People say you should love your country, and be proud of it, and there are usually things to love and be proud of. But there are usually things to dislike as well, and every country has things to be ashamed of. So what does dying for your country achieve? Nothing, as far as I could see. Living for your country, you get the chance to make it better.”
― David Downing, Zoo Station

“once the existence of facts was denied then everything was a lie.”
― David Downing, Wedding Station

“Nothing tears the heart like a glimpse of happiness.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“You don’t fight race hatred by creating a state based on race. That’s what the Nazis are doing.”
― David Downing, Silesian Station

“...there was no shame in crying when something or someone was worth crying over.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“once the existence of facts was denied then everything was a lie. Everything but power and the will to use it.”
― David Downing, Wedding Station

“Russell didn’t reply. He was dumbstruck by”
― David Downing, Silesian Station

“There was one slight delay while the pilot went off in search of a thicker coat for McColl—“It’s bloody cold up there!”—and another when Plumley arrived to wish them luck. Eventually McColl and his suitcase were squeezed into the underslung sidecar, Lansley and his bombs into the B.E.12’s single seat, the propeller set in motion. The biplane drove steadily across the field, suddenly accelerated, and seemed to almost leap into the sky. As it climbed and turned, McColl could see the distant rows of lights that marked the two front lines. It was indeed “bloody cold,” and the exposed area of skin between flying cap and scarf soon felt coated with ice. McColl clasped his collar shut in front of his throat and tried to look on the bright side—he might be freezing to death, but at least he was still aloft, with an hour’s respite until the dreaded moment arrived. Or moments. If the chute surprised him and actually opened, there was still the small matter of getting down in one piece. At least he didn’t have a basketful of restless pigeons in his lap, as most of his predecessors had done. According to Lansley, hundreds had been taken into occupied Belgium, each with a tightly rolled piece of paper containing a list of questions about the occupation, which locals were asked to answer and return with the homing bird. The pilot had also told him, with a perfectly straight face, that scientists in England were trying to crossbreed pigeons and parrots, so that verbal reports might be delivered.”
― David Downing, One Man's Flag

“Eisenhower loathes Montgomery”
― David Downing, Potsdam Station

“Ordinary Germans” felt utterly powerless, and resigned to feeling so for the foreseeable future. The government would doubtless translate that resignation as passive support, and to some extent they were right. There was certainly no sense that anyone had a practical alternative to offer.”
― David Downing, Zoo Station

“This, I think, is how political poison infects a whole culture—it enters the bloodstream through the cuts and bruises of personal disappointment and feeds on hearts wounded by feelings of inadequacy or rejection.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“Wars between classes might just replace one set of pigs with another, but they had some underlying point to them. Wars between nations, as far as Russell could see, had absolutely none. The”
― David Downing, Silesian Station

“Why did you come back?” she asked. “You hate them as much as I do.”
There was no point denying it. “Because it’s home,” I said simply. It wasn’t true, but it could have been. Most people find it hard to abandon the country of their birth.
“For better or worse,” she murmured.

I was lying when I said I’d come back to Germany because it was home, but this house of theirs feels increasingly like one. I’ve lived in many places over the years, and some of them—the Hotel Lux in Moscow; sundry lodgings in Canton, Sofia, and Rio—have come to feel like somewhere I belonged. We all used to say that the party was our real home, but it isn’t. Those who work in the Comintern’s external sections spend most of their time as cuckoos in others’ nests.
I’m a cuckoo in this house, of course. One who feels more and more at home in his foreign nest. Maybe all cuckoos are prone to this delusion, but I should know better.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“What life has become, as Andreas said. And the only answer I have to that—the only one I’ve ever had—is what life could be.
I have to admit: I’m no longer holding my breath.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“who they are and not which”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“Carquinez Strait”
― David Downing, Jack of Spies

“And maybe one day people will accept each other for who they are and not which race they’re born to,” I said.
He gave me the classic Walter look, the one that says, “You may be the adult, but who do you think you’re kidding?”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“While walking back down through the woods to the station, I felt, for a few minutes, an almost overwhelming sense of loss. With the late afternoon sun still pouring down through the trees and Anna’s blonde hair dancing on her shoulders in front of me, I needed all my discipline to keep from crying. Nothing tears the heart like a glimpse of happiness.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“These past few days I’ve realised—we’re strangers to each other. I feel like I’m standing outside their house and watching them through the window. I love them, of course, but more in memory than anything else. And love should be more than an echo.”
― David Downing, Masaryk Station

“That's how all this started,' Russell said, as much to himself as to her. 'Hard to believe now, perhaps. But twenty years is a long time. Once it becomes clear that your passion will also cause innocents to suffer, it begins to wear you down. First there's good and evil, and then the good gets tarnished, and soon it's only a lesser evil. Some quit at that point; they walk away, either physically or mentally. Those that don't, it just gets harder. Your father kept going — that's the one and only thing I really know about him.'

'You make him sound like a hero,' she said, with more than a trace of anger.

'Do I? I don't mean to. People like your father, they lock themselves in. Like a sailor who ties himself to a mast in a storm. It makes sense, but once you're tied up there's not much you can do for anyone else.”
― david downing, Potsdam Station

“argument”
― David Downing, Silesian Station

“I’ve known a lot of political figures but never another one whose self-control seemed so fragile.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“The Gunners’ bomb-damaged ground at Highbury was still under repair, so they were hosting the Dynamos at nearby White Hart Lane on the following Wednesday.”
― David Downing, Lehrter Station

“A woman in a fur coat emerged from the shop with two pedigree schausers in tow. Both had enamel swastikas fastened to their collars, and Russell wondered if they had pictures of the Fuehrer pinned up in their kennels.”
― David Downing, Zoo Station

“Somewhere along the way the hopes of something better had become the dread of something worse. News”
― David Downing, Silesian Station

“The rest of the world should know who really defeated the Germans.”
― David Downing, Potsdam Station

“When I was about Walter’s age, I remember asking my father why one’s country should demand more loyalty than friends, family, or conscience, and seeing the look of surprise on his face when he found he lacked a convincing answer.”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“Listen for an hour, speak for a minute”
― David Downing, Diary of a Dead Man on Leave

“Even if you find what you are looking for, you may discover its not worth the price.”
― David Downing