Seán Cullen > Quotes

“It's a lady with a stick. Are we pirates or what?" They pondered this fact for a moment.
"It's a big stick," observed one of his fellows.”
― Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

“Nothing is more terrifying to a man than an angry woman. Add a long wooden implement to the equation and the effect is profoundly unnerving.”
― Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

“We have rules One-Ear." The man smiled faintly at Mrs. Francis. "Ladies are not to be hacked apart with swords. It reflects badly on pirates in general and on our outfit in particular.”
― Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

“Why do I have to do the sewin'? 'Cause I'm a girl? Is that it? It ain't fair, I tell ya!”
― Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

“All right gentlemen, we have a job to do. At approximately 01:30 tonight, three children made an escape. Our job is to find them and bring them back. Every minute the factory is down, I lose two thousand, seven hundred and thirty-eight dollars and forty-seven cents. Therefore, we must find them and find them fast. They were last seen heading south by southwest in three makeshift kites. We'll head in that direction, fanning out and using our heat sensors to track them. Any questions?" Tubaface raised his hand. "Yes?"
"Where do babies come from?"
"That question is wholly innapropriate to our present situation. Someone slap him.”
― Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

“Mrs. Francis, may I introduce the Scourge of the Skies, the Terror of Dairy Farmers, the Lord of Lactose, Master of the Cheese Pirates of Snow Monkey Island, Captain Cheesebeard.”
― Sean Cullen, Hamish X and the Cheese Pirates

“The practice was banned after, inevitably, someone lost an eye. Mothers around the world were smug.”
― Seán Cullen, Hamix X and the Hollow Mountain