Patrick Kennedy > Quotes

“Jeff, I have here a report from your employer at the chocolate factory. It says that they gave you notice of termination. They were also wondering if you placed anything other than the prescribed ingredients into the batches of confections you were mixing.” Dahmer sat back quickly in surprise. “What do you mean? They think I put some body parts into the candy? What kind of monster do they think I am?”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“He was truly a loner; in fact, phone company records showed that during the entire time he lived at the Oxford Apartments address, not a single phone call was placed to his residence. The more time I spent with him chronicling the facts around his activities, the more I felt sorry for him. He was a pathetically lonely and inept human being. He was unable to make a real connection with anyone and was totally self-absorbed. His lifestyle was a continuous hedonistic pursuit of pleasure. All his time, effort, energy, and money went to his overwhelming desire for a warm, compliant human body, with alcohol fueling his every move.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Dahmer said that the first time he ate human flesh was in May 1990.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“I was getting my knife sharpened at the cutlery shop in the mall,” he said. It was where he originally bought the knife. The store had a policy of keeping your purchase razor sharp, so he occasionally brought it back in for a free sharpening. “Anyway, it was that day that I met this Asian male. He was alone and really nice looking, so I struck up a conversation with him. Well, I offered him fifty bucks to come home with me and let me take some photos. I told him that there was liquor at my place and indicated that I was sexually attracted to him. He was eager and cooperative so we took the bus to my apartment. Once there, I gave him some money and he posed for several photos. I offered him the rum and Coke Halcion-laced solution and he drank it down quickly. We continued to drink until he passed out, and then I made love to him for the rest of the afternoon and early evening. I must have fallen asleep, because when I woke up it was late. I checked on the guy. He was out cold, still breathing heavily from the Halcion. I was out of beer and walked around the corner for another six-pack but after I got to the tavern, I started drinking and before I knew it, it was closing time. I grabbed my six-pack and began walking home. As I neared my apartment, I noted a lot of commotion, people milling about, police officers, and a fire engine. I decided to see what was going on, so I came closer. I was surprised to see they were all standing around the Asian guy from my apartment. He was standing there naked, speaking in some kind of Asian dialect. At first, I panicked and kept walking, but I could see that he was so messed up on the Halcion and booze that he didn’t know who or where he was. “I don’t really know why, Pat, but I strode into the middle of everyone and announced he was my lover. I said that we lived together at Oxford and had been drinking heavily all day, and added that this was not the first time he left the apartment naked while intoxicated. I explained that I had gone out to buy some more beer and showed them the six-pack. I asked them to give him a break and let me take him back home. The firemen seemed to buy the story and drove off, but the police began to ask more questions and insisted that I take them to my apartment to discuss the matter further. I was nervous but felt confident; besides, I had no other choice. One cop took him by the arm and he followed, almost zombie-like. “I led them to my apartment and once inside, I showed them the photos I had taken, and his clothes neatly folded on the arm of my couch. The cops kept trying to question the guy but he was still talking gibberish and could not answer any of their questions, so I told them his name was Chuck Moung and gave them a phony date of birth. I handed them my identification and they wrote everything down in their little notebooks. They seemed perturbed and talked about writing us some tickets for disorderly conduct or something. One of them said they should take us both in for all the trouble we had given them. “As they were discussing what to do, another call came over their radio. It must have been important because they decided to give us a warning and advised me to keep my drunken partner inside. I was relieved. I had fooled the authorities and it gave me a tremendous feeling. I felt powerful, in control, almost invincible. After the officers left, I gave the guy another Halcion-filled drink and he soon passed out. I was still nervous about the narrow escape with the cops, so I strangled him and disposed of his body.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Your Honor, it is over now. This has never been a case of trying to get free. I didn’t ever want freedom. Frankly, I wanted death for myself. This was a case to tell the world that I did what I did not for reasons of hate; I hated no one. I knew I was sick or evil or both. Now, I believe I was sick. The doctors have told me about my sickness, and now I have some peace. I know how much harm I have caused. I tried to do the best I could after the arrest to make amends, but no matter what I did, I could not undo the terrible harm I have caused. I feel so bad for what I did to those poor families, and I understand their rightful hate. “I decided to go through with this trial for a number of reasons. One of the reasons was to let the world know that these were not hate crimes. I wanted the world and Milwaukee, which I deeply hurt, to know the truth of what I did. I didn’t want unanswered questions. All the questions have now been answered. I wanted to find out just what it was that caused me to be so bad and evil. But most of all, Mr. Boyle and I decided that maybe there was a way for us to tell the world that if there are people out there with these disorders, maybe they can get some help before they end up being hurt or hurting someone. I think the trial did that. I should have stayed with God. I tried and failed, and created a holocaust. Thank God there will be no more harm that I can do. I take all the blame for what I did. I hurt so many people and I am sorry. In closing, I just want to say that I hope God has forgiven me. I know society will never be able to forgive me. I ask for no consideration.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Under Wisconsin law, the burden of proving insanity lies with the defense. To be proven insane, a defendant must show that they suffered from a mental disease, and that the disease kept them from knowing right from wrong or made them unable to stop themselves from committing the crimes. Boyle’s claim was that Dahmer suffered from a sexual disorder, a paraphilia that compelled him into actions that were beyond his control. Of all the experts Boyle put on the stand, Dr. Frederick S. Berlin was the most credible. In technical terms, his diagnosis was that Dahmer was an antisocial, schizoid, and schizotypal personality. He was a chronic alcoholic who suffered from three distinct paraphilias: necrophilia, the desire to have intercourse with a dead body; frotteurism, the uncontrollable urge to rub or grind one’s self on another person or thing, including masturbation; and splanchnophilia or partialism, the extreme urge to cut open a body and look in to it. Both Boyle and Berlin hammered home the fact that Dahmer suffered from a biological or psychological predisposition that rendered him unable to control himself, therefore making him a victim of these sexual diseases, and rendering him legally insane.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“But, Pat, that’s not me. I told you, I loved these guys. I’m not ashamed for being gay. I don’t hate gays. I didn’t mutilate their bodies. I was careful and precise when I cut into them because I wanted to keep parts of them with me. Mutilation had nothing to do with it. I simply needed a way to dispose of the remains when I was finished.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“I asked Dahmer why he started keeping the heads. He answered that it was a shame to go through all the trouble of meeting them, bringing them home, killing them, and cutting them up, just to throw everything away. He wanted to keep some part of the men with him. Besides, he could then bring out the skulls later and masturbate while thinking of the time he had spent with each lover.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Dahmer was later diagnosed with borderline personality disorder (sometimes and more recently known as emotionally unstable personality disorder), but if you analyze the definition, many of the behaviors and symptoms have also been used to describe his mother Joyce, including sometimes irrational fears of abandonment, low self-esteem, unexplained anxiety, and depression, which must have affected him in childhood and as he grew up.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“In the autumn after his graduation, Dahmer enrolled at Ohio State University but spent most of his time drinking and drunk. He rarely went to class and never completed assignments. He was kicked out of school after the first term. His father and he began to argue about his drinking and his father threatened to throw him out of the house. During one of their discussions, his father mentioned that the military might provide some direction to his life, thinking it would make a man out of him. Dahmer never wanted to become a soldier, but he loved his dad and wanted to please him; besides, he thought it would be an opportunity to see the world and maybe forget about the dismembered body in the woods. Jeff signed up for four years and received training as an army medic. Boot camp was difficult, but it challenged him mentally and physically. He began to feel good about himself and was too busy to think about his secret. He deployed to Germany and bunked with several other soldiers. After his shift, he had a lot of free time and began to frequent the beer gardens. His drinking soon accelerated and eventually got him into trouble.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Dahmer was a marked man from the day he entered the penitentiary. His murder in prison was inevitable, and Dahmer would have been told this prior to being moved out of solitary. His desire to be around other people must have outweighed his fear of being killed, or he simply didn’t care anymore.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“He felt that what he had done could never be forgiven and he was destined to go to hell, so it didn’t matter if he killed more people.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“One must realize the effects of long-term alcohol abuse on the body and mind. The effects of alcohol on the brain, especially chronic drinking, are fairly well documented—it can affect mood, personality, motivation, and ambition, which explains some of Dahmer’s inability to pursue education or training in any meaningful way. Chronic substance abuse can also affect one’s ability to empathize or sympathize with others; it made Dahmer uninterested in the world around him. It suppressed his curiosity about life, people, and events, and any emotion or sensation he had was stifled under the weight of alcohol. It can also make a person less inhibited, so that when he approached young men, police, or his neighbors, Dahmer could come across as more interesting and engaged in the world, but it was a false reality.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“I’m pretty sure that this is the guy I met the night before Easter in 1989. You see these?” He picked out Polaroids depicting a severed penis, a black male’s scalp with a large Jheri curl still attached, and a painted skull. “These belong to him.” This was the first time he kept his victim’s body parts. He met Anthony Sears at closing time in front of a dance club called La Cage. He was with a friend, a white man, and after accepting Dahmer’s offer to come home with him, the friend gave them a ride to 57th and National. They walked the remainder of the way to Grandma’s, and Dahmer gave him the drink mixed with Halcion. He had sex with him before and after death. On Easter Sunday, while Grandma attended church, Dahmer dismembered the body by severing the flesh, keeping the individual’s scalp, genitals, and skull. He wanted to preserve these body parts, so he went to a hardware store and told the clerk he was interested in drying and treating a wild rabbit pelt. They informed him that acetone would do the trick, and he purchased some. After cleaning the body parts, Dahmer treated them with the acetone for preservation. “It actually worked quite well, as you can see from the pictures. When they were dried, I wore his scalp. It helped me to fantasize and remember the night I was with him. I could suck on his penis and masturbate.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“I asked about the apartment and stated that I was surprised to see so many cleaning agents. “Yeah, that was a constant problem for me. The smell was awful. I tried to keep the bodies with me for as long as I could after I killed them, but after a day or so, they started to rot, depending on the temperature of my room. Summers were really the worst because I didn’t have air conditioning. When you fillet the flesh from the body, it gives off a horrendous odor. Several times the neighbors complained of the smell, so I constantly had air fresheners around. I even kept a fan going, using it as an exhaust for the fumes, pointing it out the bedroom window.” I interrupted, “I suppose all the cleansers I saw were used to clean up the blood?” Dahmer shook his head no and said that cutting up the bodies was a dirty job, but after a while, he had it down to a science. “I cut the body open in the bathtub and let gravity work to draw the blood down the drain.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“continuing. “You’re not going to believe this, but it was me. I’m the officer that stopped him that night. I remember shining my flashlight on those garbage bags. I just can’t believe”
― Patrick Kennedy, Grilling Dahmer: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Murphy interrupted. “Just one more question, Jeff. The medical examiner says he noticed flesh had been severed from the feet of the victims found in the blue drum. What about it?” Dahmer knowingly nodded. “Well, the flesh on the bottom of the feet is extremely tough. I found that by cutting off the sole and heel, it was easier for the muriatic acid to work on the bones of the foot.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“After learning the ins and outs of the gay bar scene, he found it surprisingly easy to meet and spend time with other gay men, often bringing them back to Grandma’s basement for sex. Other times, he secured a hotel room downtown to take his one-night stands.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Dahmer explained how he met fourteen-year-old Konerak Sinthasomphone at the Grand Avenue Mall, just like his brother before him. He offered him a hundred bucks to come home with him and take some nude photos. He gave him the drugged drink and performed oral sex on him while he was drugged. He diluted the muriatic acid with some water and injected it into the boy’s brain after drilling two small holes in the top of his head. The victim didn’t die like the other ones, and appeared to be sleeping, so Dahmer left the apartment and went up the street to a local tavern to buy some more beer. The boy apparently woke up and tried to escape because as Dahmer returned, he saw the victim standing in the street surrounded by the police and onlookers. “I already told you how I duped the officers into believing that everything was all right. After they left, I injected another solution into his brain to render him even more helpless, but he died. I was disappointed but got busy severing the flesh from the both of them, double bagged it, and threw it in the trash. I kept both of their skulls because I wanted something to remember them by and felt it was a waste to throw everything out.” I could hear the disappointment in Dahmer’s voice as he spoke.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“My senior year in high school, Mom and Dad went through a divorce. After I graduated, my mother took my brother and moved to Wisconsin. We had relatives there. My dad was always busy at work, and I was left alone most of the time. I had the house all to myself. I never really had any close friends in school; I was kind of a loner and pretty shy around people. My parents were not big drinkers, but they kept a fully stocked bar in the home. I was lonely and started to drink. It made me feel better; I could talk to people and fit in, but I wasn’t that good at it and I’d usually end up drunk and alone in my house. I’m sure it was at this time that I began to develop feelings of not wanting to be alone, especially at night. It seemed as if everybody was leaving me. My father had started a new relationship with my current stepmother and spent a lot of time at her house. He said that I was old enough to take care of myself, so I ended up alone. I hated it. I didn’t like sleeping alone in that big house. It made me angry. I started to have fleeting fantasies of killing someone. I don’t know where they came from, but they did. They were always intertwined, sex and killing. I tried to get them out of my mind, but the sexual fantasy was powerful and I masturbated for hours thinking about it. The fantasy was always the same. I met a good-looking man, brought him home, had sex with him, and then killed him.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Come on, Jeff. Tell us. You’ve been eating these guys, haven’t you?” Dahmer pulled back in his chair with a look of terror. He studied my face intensely as if he were a child waiting to be reprimanded. I deliberately tried to keep an air of acceptance and calm as I spoke. “Jeff, it’s okay. We know. It’s going to be all right. Just be honest with us and tell the truth. That’s all we ask.” Dahmer leaned forward in his chair, dropped his smoke to the floor, and crushed it with his foot. With his head still lowered, he murmured a barely audible, “Yes.” Murphy didn’t move and remained in Dahmer’s personal space. “Jeff, what did you say? You’ve been eating them, haven’t you?” Dahmer leaned back. “Yes. I have. Well, I mean, not all of them. Just a few.” I again put my hand on Dahmer’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell us this before?” He looked at me pleadingly. “I don’t know. I mean, everything was going so smooth. I didn’t think it mattered so much for the investigation. Besides, it seemed like you guys really liked me. I didn’t know what you would think of me if I told you that. And then there is the whole thing with the press. They are going to make me out to be some kind of monster when they find out about this.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“The insanity trial date was set for January 13, 1992.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“One year, a group of students, including Dahmer, traveled to Washington, DC, to see the sites and visit important landmarks. While on this trip, someone dared Dahmer to make a crank call. He contacted the offices of then Vice President Walter Mondale and managed to charm his way into an invitation for Dahmer and his fellow high school classmates from Ohio to meet the VP.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“The court proceeding was short. Boyle and the defense team decided to enter pleas of not guilty and not guilty by reason of mental disease or defect3”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“I took off all my clothes, so as not to get any blood on them. Then I placed him [the victim] near a drain or in the bathtub, face up. I used a sharp knife at the top of the sternum and made a single cut down the middle of the upper torso. Once the initial cut was made, I could spread the wound and remove all the internal organs. Sometimes this would excite me to the point that I would become erect and couldn’t continue until I had brought myself to orgasm by simulating intercourse with the viscera. After a while, I cut the internal organs into fist-sized pieces and placed them in a double-wrapped garbage bag.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“I loved having these guys with me and making love to them. Their warm bodies were under my complete control, but after killing them, I felt empty, and the task of disposing their bodies was no easy job. When it was done, I felt empty and alone.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“What about the Black man who was killed on the third floor of your building?” Dahmer appeared to perk up a bit at this question. “Pat, that’s really weird. I remember that day very well. It was about a month ago. I answered a knock at my door and there was a detective. I almost panicked, figuring, this is it, I’m caught, but he started asking me questions about some guy on the third floor. The name was not familiar and to tell you the truth, I wasn’t involved with anyone in the building. I tried to be pleasant and polite, but I never tried to pick up anyone where I lived; too risky. I was always very careful when I picked someone up.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“He said while in the tavern, he drank by himself and observed the different people in the establishment. He noticed one, maybe two or three, who fit his profile and who he found attractive. He looked for men who were alone, or at least not with a tight-knit group. After detecting a suitable victim, he waited until closing time, as the patrons were filing out of the tavern, to approach. Sometimes the victims returned his glances and indicated their willingness to converse. Then he asked if they wanted to come home with him for pictures, sexual contact, and cocktails. Dahmer noted, “Of course, I always offered them money for their company. Normally between fifty and a hundred dollars.” This was the pattern, except when he met his victims on the street, in the mall, or in front of the bookstore. “During these times, I tried to strike up a conversation. I could usually tell pretty quickly if they were interested before I made any offers. When I first started, I shopped around until I found someone who was really attractive, but toward the end, it seems like the compulsion took over and I just wanted a live and willing body.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“On the other hand, McCann characterized Dahmer as a clever master of deception and deceit, who knew very well what he was doing, and who could turn his urges on and off. To this end, he paraded his own set of shrinks to drive home his point, in particular Dr. Park Dietz. Dietz had gained notoriety as a prosecution witness in the trial of John Hinckley Jr., who was acquitted by reason of insanity in 1982 for shooting President Reagan. Dietz had interviewed Dahmer for about eighteen hours over three days and agreed that Dahmer did exhibit some of the symptoms described by Dr. Berlin; however, he concluded that they were not beyond his control.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"

“Dahmer picked up the stack of photos deliberately, taking a drag off his cigarette. The first one he set down, saying, “This is definitely not one of them.” Likewise for the next eight, until he came to the tenth photo in the array. He stopped and stared for a moment. “This looks like the first Hispanic guy I met. I think he was the first one I killed at Grandma’s. I remember because it was only a few months after the incident at the Ambassador Hotel. After that, I felt it was stupid to try to control my desires. It seemed as if life conspired to allow my lusts. The situation just kept presenting itself. More importantly, there were no consequences. All I know is, after that, I had to disconnect with my conscience. I no longer felt any sense of remorse.”
― Patrick Kennedy, GRILLING DAHMER: The Interrogation Of "The Milwaukee Cannibal"