John van de Ruit > Quotes

“Exit, pursued by a bear.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“When in doubt keep reading. A book will never die on you”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“So, Milton,” he said, “welcome to paradise lost.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“i'm learning that life frequently does this to me. first it offers you an impossible challenge. which you can't refuse. then it breaks your spirit by messing with your ballpoint pen. these may seem like isolated events that can be explained away as coincidences, but i fear not. it's happened far too often to me to be a coincidence. it's this kind of thing that convinces me that i'm not going to make forty and my death will most probably be humiliating and painful - a death that people will still laugh about in three hundred years' time. one day i'm going to sift through every single entry of all my diaries and mark down how many times a stroke of 'bad luck' has followed the issuing of severe test in my life . . .”
― John van de Ruit, Spud: Learning to Fly

“I thought about my friend and wondered if his ghost was here with Macarthur. Or maybe they were in heaven somewhere watching me sing with Gecko telling the old man he was getting goosebumps.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“Roll call. (We have to start every day with this just to check nobody has run away or died in their beds.)”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“When I leave school I will drive around looking for prostitutes like Julia.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“(I can't believe this beautiful woman who looks like a forest fairy could have married Sparerib.) Boggs rates her breasts as incredible. I must admit they are impressive.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“a debate isn’t a competition, it’s a civil war.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud: Exit, Pursued by a Bear

“school). He has a very posh English accent and strides around with a walking stick, swearing like a maniac.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“Mad Dog hasn’t spent much time in the dormitory and seems to do a lot of hunting.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud

“Guv strode”
― John van de Ruit, Spud: The Madness Continues

“I have barred myself from thinking I’m improving because thus far I have only been fooling myself. Nevertheless, I think I’m improving.”
― John van de Ruit, Spud: Exit, Pursued by a Bear