Helen Villiers > Quotes

“You are not responsible for the pain someone feels as a consequence of their own behaviour.”
― Helen Villiers, You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal

“Learning to allow someone else to have their own feelings and experience is to no longer fix or rescue them.”
― Helen Villiers, You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal

“Parenting styles in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries relied on denying autonomy and weaponizing shame. The social norms of ignoring or “training” babies, using abandonment and stonewalling as punishment, while generally normalizing abuse, meant that, according to Kohut, we have the perfect conditions to create narcissism.”
― Helen Villiers, You're Not the Problem: The Impact of Narcissism and Emotional Abuse and How to Heal