S.A. Alonso > Quotes

“They only cherry-pick and see the good sides about the person and refuse to acknowledge their flaws. Their LOs are perfect in their eyes, but perfection doesn’t exist, especially when we are talking about human beings – who are fundamentally flawed.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“We interpret the exchanges with our LO solely from our point of view, and we make up in our heads what we think their responses would be. We are making up all these things in our heads, feeding our own thoughts whilst our LOs are completely oblivious to it all.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“you may already know by now – limerence is actually a form of addiction. At the heart of addiction is a set of triggers, routines and patterns.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“There is also evidence in the limerence literature that an “externally imposed obstacle” like in the case of Romeo & Juliet, where they met resistance from family and society, may also serve to feed limerence further.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“When we choose to fall for emotionally unavailable partners who cannot show up in our lives in the way we want, or physically unavailable people - those who you literally do not share the same physical space with - it actually is a sign that you are emotionally unavailable for a relationship.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“Instead of approaching their object of attraction and trying to get to know them better, limerents start heading into fantasy-land and imagining all types of scenarios with their LO.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“When we struggle to make friends, or the social connections we have are superficial, we don’t feel we have someone who “has our backs” in good or bad times. We don't feel we can trust others. That is what makes it so easy to just disappear into a fantasy relationship with someone whom we can project all of our affection onto.”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“There is give and take in the relationship. In limerence, the LO usually exists as a fantasy and is never actually present to engage in a two-way relationship with you”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships

“uncertainty, the more intensely the individual will ruminate about the LO and the more the limerent individual will seek out reciprocal behaviour from the LO (Wyant, 2021), which further increase the desirability of the LO (Carswell & Impett, 2021).”
― S.A. Alonso, How to Break Up with Limerence & Romantic Obsession: & Start Attracting Healthy Romantic Relationships