GLEN NESBITT > Quotes

“Summer, when apple blossoms bloom, roses rise, lilacs lie, dandelions are dandy, and daisies are doozies, a time when flies fly, bugs bug, bees be, swallows swallow, and ducks duck.”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“The surrounding forest was a wall of darkness, the trees standing tall and silent, smelling like a high-quality cardboard air-freshener.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“‬"Which‬‭ one‬‭ of‬‭ you‬‭ first?"‬‭ the‬‭ Lion‬‭ challenged.‬ "I'll‬‭ fight‬‭ you.‬‭ Both‬‭ together‬‭ if‬‭ you‬‭ want.‬‭ I'll‬‭ fight‬‭ you‬‭ on‬ one..." He paused dramatically, raising a paw, "foot."‬ Dorothy frowned. "Why the long pause?"‬ The‬‭ Lion‬‭ glanced‬‭ at‬‭ his‬‭ paws.‬‭ "I‬‭ don’t‬‭ know—I‬ was‬‭ born‬‭ with‬‭ them!"‬”
― GLEN NESBITT, We're Off

“Donuts and churros, snow cones and Twinkies, deep-fried bananas and slobbered-on binkies, funnel cake, ice cream, and hot onion rings…”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“At age forty, he had more employee name tags than girlfriends, and he just started liking mushrooms and zucchini. If they’re fried, and covered in ranch, that is.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“This is no ordinary flashback; it's a surreal journey into the past with my entire body involved. It is a fleshback.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“They won’t want to put themselves in my shoes because they have Chuck Taylors and Stan Smiths while I have Sams Clubs.”
― GLEN NESBITT, SUS: Short Unpredictable Stories

“There’s always room for Jello,” my mom laughs. “Yeah, in the trash can.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“I tried talking to her, but after a year of German, she only knows I have a big, red pencil and I would like more potato salad please.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“I am half-Mexican and half-Chinese. Major used to joke that I believe in reincarnitas.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“He’s just tryin’ to find his perfect niche; he’s not as cute as E.T., but he’s taller than Stitch.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“Nine-year-old me dressed as a homeless person, but I had a badge, fake mustache, and aviators. I was HoboCop, naturally.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Ruby, growing impatient, shouted, "Sneeze! Sneeze!" Rip stammered, "I’m trying, I’m trying.
I have the Ah, but I don't have the Choo.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“HENRY: Tornado‬ season begins today, October‬
‭5th.‬
EM‬: ‭ Golly. It just ended October 1st.”
― Glen Nesbitt, We're Off

“‭Instead of being cowardly,‬ I wish I was Jack Bauer-ly.‬
‭”
― GLEN NESBITT, We're Off

“Claude, genuinely touched, placed a hand over his heart. "It's what's inside of you that counts. Wow. What a very special alien invasion.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“A man without a heart‬ is like a bean without a fart.‬
‭”
― GLEN NESBITT, We're Off

“I'm not great at solving puzzles or riddles. Especially those riddles where you have to ride boats back and forth with foxes, geese, and sacks of grain. The fox would eat everything and I would starve.”
― Glen Nesbitt, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Here, books are just silverfish food.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Snitches get witches.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Betwixt Forest and Fell: House of the Crown of the Prince of the...

“The room is a hundred shades of white. The enormous desk is the color of sand dollar beer foam with a plush cotton eggshell chair behind it. To its side, a tall shaving cream topped Swiss coffee lamp with a mozzarella sour cream lampshade. Official certificates the color of chalky whitecaps in limestone glacier
frames hang on the frosted beluga whale wall. The wall is covered with rice powder cloud bookcases, full of books the color of moonstone jasmine, opal daffodil, quartz daisy, and polar bear hibiscus. The books are being tended by a man with his back to me, dressed in a milky, baking soda suit in seagull bone shoes, riding a rolling ladder the color of marshmallow tofu glue.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“She had beauty, surely, yet it was one that required the flattering blur of distance.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Betwixt Forest & Fell: House of the Crown of the Prince of the Throne

“I am no religious scholar, but there is no mention of Dr. Slinks in the holy texts.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“[My Halloween costume] was so that people opened their doors and took candy from me.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“His eyes fixed on the nearest objects—a Dropkick Murphys concert poster, plastic, dusty, butterfly string lights, a tiny bottle of Herp-B-Gon, a pink padded bra on the doorknob—with pained, aristocratic distaste.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Betwixt Forest & Fell: House of the Crown of the Prince of the Throne

“Way up high above the stars; this close encounter’s rather far.”
― GLEN NESBITT, Joe the Alien

“Fields and rooftops somewhere beyond that trench would suffer for quarrels begun elsewhere.”
― Glen Nesbitt

“Ruby pointed towards the descending object. “The landing lights are very shiny.” Claude’s voice, trembling with anxiety, added, “I hope their probes are very tiny.”
― GLEN NESBITT

“On accident, I stuff a pill bug into his mouth.
To this day, he refuses to eat food with raisins.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN

“Her last name escapes me, but that does not keep me from wondering if she will change it when we marry.”
― GLEN NESBITT, BREAK OUT OF HEAVEN