Cat Clarke > Quotes

“This is the real way a friendship ends. Not with some huge screaming row, but with a gradual withdrawal. You’d think it would be less painful this way.”
― Cat Clarke, Torn

“I won't ever give up.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“The thought of going to sleep forever was delicious. I was so very tired.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“It’s amazing, the lies you can tell yourself. Even more amazing, the lies you can believe when you’re desperate enough.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“He drives a newish-looking silver van.
Man in van = obviously dodgy.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“Everyone thought that things were getting back to normal. They had no idea that normal didn’t exist for me any more. Normal had been smashed on the rocks beneath the bridge.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“I smile. On the inside though, so no one can see. A secret smile just for me.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“I remember. All of it. And it hurts. More than I'd ever thought possible.
I know where I am and what I've done and why I can't move or speak or open my eyes. And I'm scared.
It was all a terrible mistake.
I'd like not to be here. I'd like to go home now.
Please.
Please”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“It’s not that I mind being alone, not really. I can distract myself with silly fantasies and daydreams for hours, but in the end it always comes back to me. That’s what I’m left with: just me. And that’s what scares me more than anything. Me.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“They had no idea that normal didn't exist for me anymore. Normal had been smashed on the rocks beneath the bridge.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“I wanted to grab his stupid ears and smash his stupid head against the door until his stupid brains leaked out. Instead, I did nothing.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“Kind of just existed from day to day, on weird plateau of feeling nothingness.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“It's too late.
I chose life too late.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“To be perfectly honest, it scared me a little. You get so used to seeing the same thing in the mirror every day you stop thinking about what you look like.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“I called no one, and no one called me. I was suffocating with loneliness. The pain was almost physical. I felt like tearing myself apart. I wanted to escape from my own skin.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“Her brain is like a filing cabinet – everything neatly stored in categories. My brain is more like soup – everything all blended and mushed together.”
― Cat Clarke

“Mothers can be so dense. Just act like you approve of what we're doing. We'll soon do the exact opposite, just to spite you.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“I can just close my eyes and let myself fall into oblivion. Maybe I'll hit the exact same rocks and my blood will mingle with his and maybe there's some kind of life after death and he's waiting for me there with his hand outstretched just like mine.
But...
I don't want to die.
I try to twist my body backwards and pain shoots up my neck.
It's too late.
I chose life too late.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“I know people think suicide is selfish, and maybe sometimes it really is. But what happened to Kai was beyond what anyone should have to cope with. I didn’t blame him, not really. It just broke my heart that I wasn’t enough to keep him here.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“You have to understand that not everything in the world is black and white.”
― Cat Clarke, Torn

“It's when I'm alone that the doubt sets in. It's been that way for years. As long as there are people around, I can pretend that everything's OK. But I need that audience to pretend for, otherwise it doesn't work. Alone, I'm not that easy to fool.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“I never lost the certainty that he was the perfect boy. The perfect boy for me anyway. I just tried not to think about it, because it made me ache inside.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“Everyone’s got secrets, Jem. It’s what makes people interesting.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“Kai, are you sure you’re OK? You’re acting a little weird.’
He kissed me on the forehead. ‘Ah, Jemima! Weirdness is one of my many charms.’ Then he grabbed me in a bear hug and squeezed so hard I thought I might pass out.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“I hugged my knees to my chest, desperately trying to hold myself together so I didn’t splinter into a thousand pieces. If I let go, no one would ever be able to put the pieces together again.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“Every good story deserves a happy ending – it’s a basic rule of storytelling. The boy next door certainly shouldn’t die.”
― Cat Clarke, Undone

“It struck me that there would always be a part of him that didn’t (and shouldn’t) belong to me. It’s all too easy to think that the people you care about go into some kind of suspended animation when you’re not around. That they only truly come to life when they’re with you, and don’t really exist without you. I mean, you know that’s not true (you’re not stupid, after all), but that other part of their life is kind of irrelevant – to you at least.”
― Cat Clarke, Entangled

“I couldn't blame him for not believing me because it wasn't exactly true. The truth is that you /do/ care. Of course you do. And it hurts to hear people say those things about you. But the hurt changes, over time. At first, it's sharp and hot, like a fiery dagger stabbing you in the heart, but when you've heard the same insults over and over and over, the pain changes. It becomes a dull, throbbing ache -- like a toothache. A sort of background pain that you can ignore for a few minutes at a time, except when you're lying in bed at night, trying to sleep. That's when it really gets to you.”
― Cat Clarke, The Pants Project

“It's too weird to think about - how death seems to rewrite all the rules. People who never talked to each other can suddenly cry together. People who used to be close can hardly bear to be in the same room.”
― Cat Clarke, Torn

“It's entirely possible to get to know someone without actually seeing them in person. In fact, it's better like that because none of the superficial stuff gets in the way. You really get to know a person. And it's easier to express yourself when you're writing things down. At least it is for me. I like to order my thoughts, and delete them if they don't make any sense. You can't do that in real life.”
― Cat Clarke, A Kiss in the Dark