M.J.A. Ware > Quotes

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― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“together any sort of response to that, so I turned and left. At the store, I got a bag and started stuffing it with one of everything in sight. When I got to the binoculars, I took”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“Yeah, I had to get in. The door was locked, so I grabbed a patio chair and viola! A glass of water." "Wow, you're my hero." "Shut up.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. Now I know why.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“Wait until I tell your brothers. Or your dad—" "Nathan Patrick Lewis. You are not to tell a soul." Misty kicked up some dirt as she stood nose-to-nose with me. I'd been praying all year for a growth spurt. If it didn't come soon, she'd be taller than me. "Do you understand?" she said as if she could intimidate me. "Don't worry, who'd believe me? I mean, the mayor trying to kiss you." "Kiss me? I thought he was going to swallow my face, and what about you kicking his head like a soccer ball? What the heck are we supposed to do now?" Misty's”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“On the back stucco wall, above the dog's water bowl, a huge stain of smeared blood and fur was all that remained of Snookums. It reminded me of my plate after I ate waffles with blueberry syrup, which until right then, was my favorite.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“One of the teachers announced, "First years, wait here. In a moment, we'll enter the Great Hall where you'll be sorted into houses." As we waited to enter, all the talk seemed to be about was how much they didn't want to be in a house called Slipperen.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“It felt safe in Misty's house, something familiar that never changed. Wall-to-wall thick orange shag carpet, dark wood paneling, even popcorn on the ceiling—with sparkles. The sparkles were pretty cool.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“As we waited to enter, all the talk seemed to be about was how much they didn't want to be in a house called Slipperen.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Sorry. I don't mean to sound superior. It just comes out that way because I am.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“Nobody acted as if this was an unusual occurrence, and when I finished changing I lay in bed thinking about my first day at magic school. I'd seen teachers turn into animals, passed through ghosts, and almost been killed by flying magic rodents. I lay there thinking about how the animated paintings weren't TVs mounted behind fancy frames. The moving stairs weren't powered by pistons. The teachers weren't wearing costumes or performing tricks. The magic was real, all real. Only now did I begin to accept, to really believe it. My head swam. I didn’t think I'd be able to sleep, but soon I was out.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“just don’t really understand half of what girls do, so it seemed a logical choice.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“I started blasting my gun. Letting loose a stream of words like I'd never used before. True to form, Misty didn't stay put and stood at my side. Tears stained her cheeks. Her gun firing wildly. It was a blur. The next thing I knew, no zombies were left standing and we knelt at Kali's side. I took out a rag and wiped the feathers from his face. We could tell he was still alive. His chest rising and falling in jerks. "Kali, how bad are you hurt?" I asked with an unsteady voice. "I'm okay, guys. Did we get all of them?" he whispered. "Nate, he's been bit all over!" I looked down at his body, covered in white feathers, speckled with splotches of deep red. "Yep. You got 'em, even those freak chickens." "Nate, I'm thirsty," his voice shaky and cracking. "Okay, buddy. We've got water in the truck." "No, not water. How about a glass of lemonade?" "Kali, what are you saying?" Misty's voice was tense as a piano string. "Hurry, Nate. I'm getting weak—the lemonade." I think running into the crowd of zombies would have been easier than this. Maybe that's why Kali chucked a rock at my head—he knew he could count on me for this. I ripped off a small water gun I had taped on my suit and tore off the cap. "Oh, Nate, don't. Maybe there's something we can do. Maybe—" she stopped. I put my hand behind Kali's neck and felt a slight burn, probably zombie snot. Misty took one of his hands and held it to her chest. "You were so brave, Kali, so brave." My hands didn't shake anymore; they were numb, as if they didn't belong to me. I manipulated them the best I could—like using chopsticks. Lifting Kali's head, I poured the juice into his mouth until it was gone. He was burning up; his skin felt like it was on fire. "I never thought I'd have friends, real friends—thank you, guys." He closed his eyes and I felt the muscles in his neck go limp. Gently, I put his head down and cleaned my blistering hand with the rag. Misty wiped her tears as I put the rag over Kali's face. "No, thank you, kid." We sat there still, silent except for the small cries that we both let slip out. Misty, still holding his hand. Me, staring down at my hands, soaked in tears. I don't know how much time passed. It could have been five minutes; it might have been an hour. Suddenly, the feathers moved, flying in every direction. Looking up, I saw a helicopter coming down in front of us—one of those big black military ones. It landed and three men stepped out. They wore protective gear like you see in those alien movies. I worried a little about what they might have planned for us. I've seen enough movies to know those government types can't be trusted—especially when they're in those protective suits. "What happened here? How did you manage to negate the virus?" one of the hooded figures asked. "Zombie juice," I replied. "Zombie juice?" "Actually it was the Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb," Misty added as she stood and took my hand.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“What's that?" Misty asked. "It's a supersized zombie juice bomb. It was your idea," I said.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“headed to the bathroom. As I closed the door, I heard a scream. For a second, I thought Dad stumbled upon an overlooked zombie; then I realized it was much more serious. "Nathan, where's the Mustang!”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“Chapter 16 – Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“My dad had a 1967 Shelby GT500 Fastback. Mint”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“From across the road, Mayor Frank waddled towards us. "Just our luck, only person in town and it has to be him?" "Geez, a little early to be wasted," I said. Besides mayor, he was also the town drunk.  "Mayor Frank, over here," Misty yelled. "Now you've done it. He's headed this way." I wiped my palms on my jeans; something wasn't right. "Nate, shut up. We could use a little help." He almost fell over three times while crossing the street. His clothes looked like they'd spent more time in the gutter than on his back. His eyes, swollen and cloudy—he looked sick. I'd never seen eyes like that. The mayor didn't say a word, just reached out his two pasty arms. I thought he might shake our hands. He was one of those phony politicians. Instead, he grabbed Misty and went in for a big, open-mouth kiss. I'm not sure what came over me. I'd never hit anyone—except Misty's older brothers—and then only in a desperate act of self-defense. But I wasn't about to let this creep kiss her. I cocked my arm back and with everything I had, socked the mayor in the face. He folded, flat to the floor. Grabbing my hand, I winced in pain. Misty screamed, her long hair whipping around as she jumped back. My mind raced. Oh, no. I just punched the mayor.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“That was a joke, guys. I am working on my sense of humor." "A joke? Misty, Kali told a joke." I put my arm around him and messed up his hair (some more). "Not a very good one, though. Better keep working at it." "So, what is it?" Misty asked, sounding a little frustrated.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“Plotter got fan mail, but I was kinda relieved. I mean relieved that Professor Luckhart was busy because I wasn't sure there was much he could teach me beyond stand-up comedy. Still, I felt a pang of resentment. My education being put off in favor of Harry Plotter's fan mail. That night, as I took off my robes, a loud thud came from outside our room, like someone knocking over furniture. Then a gray glowing head poked through our door. "Anyone awake?" the specter screamed before entering our room and jumping on the bed next to me. He knocked over a stack of books and ripped off some bed curtains before disappearing through the far wall. Moments later, another ghost—this one”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Misty, did you notice the zombie's eyes? All pale and fogged over—like Mayor Frank? I think he might have been a zombie or maybe starting to turn into one." "Oh, good. That's a relief." "Good? What the heck do you mean, good?" I said, still irritated with her. "At least he wasn't trying to kiss me." "He was trying to bite your head off. Isn't that worse?" Misty just shrugged.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“you know him?" "Yeah, he was in my class." My head sank. "It's my fault he's gone. I tried to save him, but I failed." I felt like crying. "It's okay. Let me tell you something you learn in war." He kept his arm around me as we walked toward the locked hatch. "You're only responsible for the people you save, not the ones you can't—it's the fellow doing the killing who's responsible for them. Don't blame yourself. You can't save everyone." "You're right, but it hurts. I'm so sorry." I figured it was best not to tell him the alien who'd eaten Toby was onboard this very ship. "I know, son, I know." He stopped at the door. "Besides, he was so darn fat, I bet they ate him first." Chapter 11 – Bucket's”
― M.J.A. Ware, Zack & Zoey's Alien Apocalypse -or- Alien Busting Ninja Adventure

“Chapter 3 – Professor Smape”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Actually it was the Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb," Misty added as she stood and took my hand.”
― M.J. Ware, Super Zombie Juice Mega Bomb

“few more Slipperen friends too, though the more time I spent with them, the more I felt maybe the Sorting Hat had put me in the wrong house.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“But I kept walking in circles.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“Slipperen kid who kept pulling candy out of his robes. His fingers were covered with chocolate.”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“under the naked oak tree”
― M.J. Ware, Santa's Claws

“High”
― M.J. Ware, Harry Plotter and The Chamber of Serpents, A Potter Secret Parody

“bucks, huh?" "Yep. But you've got to open the attic window and wave down to me." "What if the window doesn't open?" "Break it,”
― M.J.A. Ware, No Way Out: And Other Scary Short Stories