Rachel Haimowitz > Quotes

“All the world seemed suddenly dream, for in what waking world would a prince deceive his own people for the benefit of a slave?
~ Ayden”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“Now you die while we live on, and you’ve no one to blame but your selves. So do not speak of betrayal behind my back, humans. For the Great Betrayal is your shame, not mine. ~ Ayden”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“Dark beasts, night terrors, and Ayden with manners? These woods were
terrifying indeed.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Crescendo

“Shit, and shit, and shit again, he thought as Brandon’s arms wrapped around him and dragged them to the floor with the unfettered force of their passion. I’m in love. God help me, I’m in love.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“that clever mind, that sharp tongue and droll wit. His love for Ella, manifested in sacrifice and secret smiles; his sense of honor and duty; his pride in the face of unceasing subjugation. His joy of nature, his respect for all things living, his skill with . . . well, everything.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“Perhaps you’d care to frame me and hang me in the hall ?"
The First Wife reared back, her face twisting with confusion and scorn.
"Excuse me ?"
"You’re staring."
"I do no such thing !”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“You have never laid your pride down, Freyrík. Not once, for me or anyone. You don't know what it means to give that up, even for a moment. And yet you ask it of me again and again and again! Tell me, Freyrík, what more can you wring from me? Have I not done enough for you to trust me, gods crack you?”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Crescendo

“We? 'Twas me who found the marks, not you, not any of you Aegean fools. And your king is the biggest fool of all, for if he'd deigned to unbind me before he sent us here to die, I could have listened for what we seek and followed it that way. Now I am as impotent as you."
If considerably less ugly and stupid.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Crescendo

“While that mouth clearly deserves an opportunity to worship as many various bits of me and my shoe collection as I can shove in there, we're not done talking yet.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Master Class

“Yet men... you strive to shape the earth in your image,forgetting that the gods have already shaped it in theirs.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“Gods cracked, Freyrík, they would have raped me!" He surged forward so suddenly Freyrík flinched and tripped away. "And no, I did not incite or invite their attentions. It is your people who paint me like a harlot and parade me round half-naked, your people who find it amusing to use my brethren like toys, your people who teach their children such high art of disrespect that boys think rape a pleasant way to pass an afternoon!”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Crescendo

“How could he have abandoned—no, shoved away the most important person in the world to him? The one person in the world to whom he, in turn, was also most important?
God, he was a monster.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Homecoming

“At 09:22, Mitchell radioed down. “We’re in position.”

Pete peered up into the canopy, but of course he couldn’t see a thing. “How’s it looking up there?”

“Five by five.”

He snorted at Mitchell’s cheery misuse of the phrase. “Thank you, Faith.”

“Any time, Giles. Now go be a good watcher and keep us clear.”

“Roger that. Out.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Jungle Heat

“You don’t deserve me. Why should I waste my time on some bratty little whore who only wants someone to beat him until he can get off without guilt, huh? Someone who can’t follow a simple fucking direction. You don’t even want what I’m offering! You don’t want to find yourself; you want to get lost.” Devon stalked to the closet, grabbed Nicky’s coat, and hurled it at him. “So get lost.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Master Class

“He climbed out of the car, feeling stiff and awkward with that hot heavy weight between his legs, that miserable unsatisfied ball of need. Better play it cool, though; if Jonathan knew how bad off he was, the teasing would last for hours. Sadists smelled desperation as surely as sharks scented blood in the water. And Jonathan was very much at the top of his particular food chain.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“there was always more with Nikolai, wasn’t there? More pain, more pleasure, more joy, more grief, more religious fucking ecstasy.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Homecoming

“Ayden's eyes snapped up and narrowed to slits. "This is a collar," he said flatly.
"Nay!" Freyrík said. "'Tis . . ."
"A neck belt, perhaps? To hold my shirt up?"
"A cravat," Freyrík said firmly. "Very fashionable, I assure you."
He felt the elf's stare on his throat, unyielding as a choking hand. "Yet you do not wear one.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“..wondering at the power of words to choke as surely as smoke.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“The answering silence spoke volumes, though Ayden could not interpret its language.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“It hurt, God fuck did Jonathan know how to make things hurt, but once the tears were gone, only smiles remained, because Bran knew he’d given Jonathan a reason to seek the release he so desperately needed—to stop for just a moment, unwind, take care of himself, have a few minutes’ pleasure among the sixteen-hour days he’d been putting in to get ready for the trip.
And Bran didn’t mind doing that for him. Fuck “didn’t mind.”
He loved it, loved knowing he could give that to Jonathan—give him something the man wasn’t even capable, just now, of giving to himself. Loved knowing he was strong enough to take it for Jonathan.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“These last three and a half months, you’ve had two masters. I’ve had to share you with your anger, your pride, your fear, your insecurities—emotions that have ruled you since your mother died. For all your pretense of independence, you’ve never truly been free.”
Ah— there was a flash of anger. But quickly smothered. Confusion, then, and struggle. To understand? To accept?
“You’ve not spoken to your father your whole adult life, and yet still he’s haunting you. Driving you. The voice inside your head, am I right?”—and yes, by the widening of Brandon’s eyes, he was—“that told you to hate yourself, bury your feelings, hide your shame. That stopped you from trusting again, from opening up and loving again. That told you not to waste time with frivolities like pleasure. That pushed you ever on, no matter the cost.”
Brandon ducked his head again—or tried to, at least, cheeks and ears flaming, something hunted and dangerous lurking in his eyes.
Jonathan met it head-on. “You never controlled that voice, Brandon; it controlled you. So of course you couldn’t lay down your control at my feet. It wasn’t yours to give.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“If I’ve learned anything in life, it’s that nothing
worth having comes easy, and you’ve gotta be willing to fight for what matters to you.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Resistance

“What the fuck had come over him, behaving like that? Like some spoiled child, just like Jonathan had said. He’d deserved that rough fuck in the bathroom, the cage still around his dick. Needed it to remind him of who he was, who he wanted to be, to keep him from doing things that made him feel awful about himself.
Things that made him feel undisciplined. Out of control.
He went back into the living room, over to the bar, where Jonathan was pouring himself a drink. Sank to his knees on the cold, hard floor and held up the cane.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“Jonathan swallowed hard and pulled his hand away— Brandon’s own hand came up to stop him, caught him by the wrist and guided his palm back to his face. He tucked his cheek against Jonathan’s slack fingers, closed his eyes. Took a shuddery breath, cleared his throat, and said, “I do trust you, Jonathan. I do.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“I guess it tells me I’ve learned to expect the worst, Jonathan.” Sad. A sigh, almost. He shrugged. “At least that way I’m never disappointed.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“His control came from a place of anger, insecurity, immaturity. He broke you down to build himself up, to make his life easier. My control? Is a gift, as surely as your submission is. I break you down to build you back up, to make your life better.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Resistance

“what I really, truly want from you, Brandon? One of the greatest gifts you could give me? Is your suffering.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“So what if their way of expressing those things meant hand-feedings and floggings and collars and cages? Whatever this . . . thing was between them, it was . . . Fuck it, it was beautiful, and so what if that made him sound like a sissy or an idiot or whatever else his dad might try to knock him down with, because nothing two people could do together to make each other so happy could possibly be shameful.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Awakening

“If you wedge me between two tall cliffs, I would hang a portrait on each and call them home. If you wedge Ayden, he would spend the next thousand years carving a stairway with his blade, one grain of stone at a time, until he could call himself free.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Counterpoint

“Don’t.
Shame has no place in these walls. This, here, now? Is all about your pleasure. Embrace it. Let it wash over you. Be strong enough to be helpless to it”—a wet tongue darted across the lobe of his ear—“to succumb to it”—teeth now to join it, a little nibble that sent a shiver down the side of his neck and chest—“to revel in it.”
― Rachel Haimowitz, Resistance