Lauren Child > Quotes

“We were given: Two hands to hold. Two legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find.”
― Lauren Child

“Then I say, "Let's go and brush our teeth." So Lola says, "But Charlie, I can't brush my teeth because somebody is using my tooth." "But who would use your toothbrush?" I ask. Lola says "I think that lion. I saw a lion with my toothbrush and now he's brushing his teeth with it." "But it isn't this your toothbrush Lola?" "Oh," says Lola, "he must be using yours.”
― Lauren Child, I Am Not Sleepy and I Will Not Go to Bed

“I have little sister Lola, she is small and very funny. ”
― Lauren Child

“Excuse me while I yawn.”
― Lauren Child, Take Your Last Breath

“Look we didn't break in, we conned our way in.' - Ruby
'Oh that makes it so much better.' - Hitch”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Everyone always thinks they're the good guys,' said Ruby.
'Yes they do,' said LB. 'But happily for us, we are.'
'Well you might know that but how do I?”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Cake is one of life's great wonders, and who would deny wonder to a child?”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“I say 'Mom, how come you don't change into an evening gown for dinner?' She says 'I do, it's called a bath robe. [...]”
― Lauren Child, Utterly Me, Clarice Bean

“If something is not right or real, don't lose your self.”
― Lauren Child, Clarice Bean, Don't Look Now

“And they have a display of bananas, which are not bananas but called plantains and are more like a potato pretending to be a banana.”
― Lauren Child, Utterly Me, Clarice Bean

“She knows that it's not my fault if I don't know how many Zs there are in LOSER.”
― Lauren Child, Clarice Bean Spells Trouble

“It's true,' said Freddie Humbert, 'kids nowadays have got no ability to listen to simple instructions.'
'Here you go, Dad,' said Quent, returning with a tray of drinks. 'Two martinis, one with extra olives, one with no olives, one mineral water, ice and a twist of lime and a jade juice, no fruit.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“RULE 3: PEOPLE SO OFTEN DON’T SEE WHAT IS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR EYES.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“This was RULE 32: TELL ONE LIE AND GET READY TO TELL A WHOLE LOT MORE.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“RULE 43: IF YOU’VE GOT THE ADVANTAGE – MAKE SURE YOU KEEP IT.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“RULE 33: MORE OFTEN THAN NOT THERE IS A VERY ORDINARY EXPLANATION FOR THE ‘EXTRAORDINARY’ HAPPENING.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“RULE 9: THERE IS ALWAYS A CHANCE THAT SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE IS WATCHING YOU.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Rube, this is me you're talking to, Clancy Crew, remember? Your best buddy? And I hate to break it to you this way but your grandmother on your mother's side, she isn't sick - she's dead!”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“YOU CAN MISS A LOT IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE {RULE 52}.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Anything I need to know?’ said Ruby. ‘Uh huh, RULE 1: KEEP IT ZIPPED.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“RULE 79: WHAT TO DO IF YOU MEET A BEAR – WISH YOU HADN’T!”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“You can be completely sure what might happen next.”
― Lauren Child

“Don’t wait too long to be rescued, old lady – you might pass your sell-by date.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“RULE 2: IF YOU WANT TO KEEP SOMETHING SECRET, DON’T LEAVE IT LYING AROUND.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Don’t erase me”
― Lauren Child, THE RUBY REDFORT COLLECTION: 1-3: Look into My Eyes; Take Your Last Breath; Catch Your Death

“RULE 43: IF YOU’VE GOT THE ADVANTAGE – MAKE SURE YOU KEEP IT. She”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Why Buzz is called Buzz? It’s simple:
[redacted text]”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes

“Any chance of a beverage?’ asked Ruby. ‘I’ll call for my house servant,’ said Clancy, picking up the phone. ‘Olive,’ he said dramatically, ‘do you want to know how it feels to have twenty cents in your pocket. . .? Very good, well, bring up two iced Coca-colas and the money will be yours.’ He replaced the receiver. ‘Nice going,’ said Ruby, nodding. Five-year-old Olive tottered into the room twenty minutes later with two less than full glasses of Coca-cola. It was clear that she had been sampling the drinks during the long journey to the third floor.”
― Lauren Child, Catch Your Death

“You look like someone just ran over your goldfish.”
― Lauren Child, Take Your Last Breath

“mustache.”
― Lauren Child, Look Into My Eyes