Elle Lothlorien > Quotes

“Be yourself. Unless you can be a unicorn, In that case, you should always be a unicorn.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“We’re late. For a VERY important date”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Hey, any idea why Australians speak something that sounds deceptively like English but isn’t? I mean, I’m trying to figure out why I can’t seem to converse with another human being who speaks the same language as I do.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“My butt has a maximum drive time of seven hours.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“That’s the thing you girls never get. It doesn't matter if you just woke up, or just got done bawling, or just finished your make-up. When a guy’s all love-sick over a chick, she looks exactly the same to him all the time: perfect.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“First, I’d like to point out that I didn’t use ‘one of mine.’ You refused to let me pay for my ice cream cone with a good ol’ fashioned credit card, and you forced your pretend money on me. Secondly, I can’t take any currency seriously that looks like it belongs in a psychedelic-inspired Special Edition Monopoly box.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Right, 'the Queen of Hearts.' Sounds to me like you’re just one bitch in a whole pack of cards, baby.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“The words ‘drink me’ come to mind. Anyone besides me up for some heavy alcohol consumption?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I’m busy trying not to look like anything edible.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“I think it should be obvious by now that I’m not necessarily interested in reality.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Do you ever answer anything in a way that people expect you to?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Be a good little Alice and just follow the White Rabbit, okay?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Souris says you wanted to see me, so here I am. Talk quick before I decide to beat the shit out of you and throw your bloody carcass back across the International Date Line.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Did you forget a dentist appointment or something, big guy? Where the hell did you hop off to?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Alice, I am the game, and trust me: you don’t want to play me.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“You can pay for whatever you want, but I just want to warn you that I prefer to stay at places that don’t start or end with the word ‘motel.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Mouse likes to drag you to uninhabited areas with no cell signal—all those places perfect for dying of exposure.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“And just so you know—that winter forest we walked into first? That was from Through the Looking Glass too. Hey, if you’re going to saddle me with the blame for your overconsumption, at least get the book right.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“So you went back to your friend’s next donkament two weeks later, and this time you just laughed right along when they gave you that framed picture of the poker hands. And when they called you ‘pigeon,’ ‘fish,’ and ‘muppet,’ you just smiled and batted your eyes and said stupid things like ‘Does a straight beat a crooked?’ And while everyone else was throwing a party, you just sat there acting like a tourist with your kill stack until you were in the money. Those poor dills…they didn’t know what hit ‘em, did they?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“When she reaches down to touch his shoulder—a gesture only a few species and a million or so years removed from lifting a leg and marking him as her territory with a stream of urine—enough bracelets and bangles to lay track across the Australian Outback slide down her arm and come to a jangling stop at her wrist.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Turns out rolling your eyes in a bar when ‘Land Down Under’ plays is like someone belching during the Star Spangled Banner in America.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Did you think your boyfriend was going to stick around and watch you do THAT? If we weren’t related, I would’ve left too. Actually…is it already too late for me to leave?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but Australians have a LOT of bitches on their cashola.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Oh, I have plenty of problems with Rabbit, it’s just that my comfort level with his name is standing in line behind about a hundred more important things.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Alice? You didn’t get this far without realizing that you don’t have to cheat to win. You just have to accept that people are easily manipulated.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Let’s put it this way: you know how we always told you that all those years of tormenting four sisters turned you into a closet sadist? Well, if you ever decide that being a lawyer isn’t bringing you the kind of gratification you were hoping for, then I think I found the perfect job for you.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Yeah, that’s exactly how I feel when I’m around you: confused, but still satisfied.' I freeze, trying to figure out how to cancel it out and replace it with something that sounds a whole lot less like sex and a candy bar ad.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Well, the gondola operator—whose name was ‘Happy,’ I might add—failed to inform me that about sixty seconds into the trip, the floor under the section of car I was standing on was going to slide away.Turns out it was a really useful way of finding out which of the passengers suffers from acute acrophobia.”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Now see, if it were me, I wouldn’t have led with that. I would’ve gone with something like ‘G’day’ or ‘Wow, aren’t you a little hottie?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland

“Are you referring to the day you instructed me to ‘follow the white rabbit,’ plied me with absinthe and brownies, and tried to have your way with me? Didn’t take long for you to lose your romantic streak, did it?”
― Elle Lothlorien, Alice in Wonderland