Bob Monkhouse > Quotes

“They all laughed when I said I'd become a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.”
― Bob Monkhouse, Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

“People used to laugh at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now.”
― Bob Monkhouse, Crying With Laughter: My Life Story

“Personally, I don’t think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?”
― Bob Monkhouse

“When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car.”
― Bob Monkhouse

“Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.”
― Bob Monkhouse

“Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.”
― Bob Monkhouse

“I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.”
― Bob Monkhouse

“The awkward part about an orgy is that afterwards you're not too sure who to thank”
― Bob Monkhouse

“When I first said I wanted to be a comedian, everybody laughed. They're not laughing now.”
― Bob Monkhouse, Just Say a Few Words: The Complete Speaker's Handbook