Jason Vallotton > Quotes

“You can't expect to grow stronger when you avoid hard stuff. I have never met someone who's said, "I'm so thankful I took all those short cuts in my life. Best move ever.”
― Jason Vallotton

“When you articulate your boundaries to people, they have the opportunity to respect your needs and virtues and protect your relationship with them. And when they value and protect the things that are important to you, the relationship between you flourishes. This is the process that builds trust between you and others.”
― Jason Vallotton, Winning the War Within: The Journey to Healing and Wholeness

“Powerful people know what they need and what they are going to do. They are able to set boundaries, because they believe that no one else is responsible for them. No matter what the situation, they are still able to be powerful and choose their responses, because no one else but God is in control of their future.”
― Jason Vallotton, Winning the War Within: The Journey to Healing and Wholeness

“One of the things we all need to keep in mind when we are setting boundaries is that the primary goal should be to build stronger and deeper relationships with people. Yes,”
― Jason Vallotton, Winning the War Within: The Journey to Healing and Wholeness

“One of the major aspects of being in control of your life is having the ability to set healthy boundaries with people. Proverbs 25:28 says, “Like a city whose walls are broken through is a person who lacks self-control.” The person who lacks the ability to set boundaries will end up being like a broken-down, pillaged city. A defenseless city gets plundered and has nothing of value left to offer anyone. Personal boundaries are like the protective walls of an ancient city. The purpose of having good boundaries is to protect and nourish yourself so you can cultivate healthy relationships with others. Without the ability to protect yourself, you have no way to provide protection for anyone else in your life. A person establishes healthy boundaries through the process of defining his or her virtues, values and needs, and then communicating those to the people he or she is in relationship with.”
― Jason Vallotton, Winning the War Within: The Journey to Healing and Wholeness

“You could hear in Jim’s tone of voice the irritation he was carrying inside. I asked him, “Jim, what are you going to do about your marriage?” “I don’t know. I wish Sarah wasn’t such a mess and wasn’t so hard to live with,” he said. It was time for me to give some feedback. “Jim, it doesn’t feel as if she’s really the whole problem. You’ve made her responsible for getting help for you guys. She’s the one who’s contacting your parents and me. You haven’t done anything proactive to work on your relationship, other than the things she hounds you about, and you have no process for dealing with the pain and frustration you feel from not being successful. And finally, you still believe that she’s the sole problem. I’m not surprised that she nags you, Jim. It’s the only way that you’ve ever become motivated in this relationship. You’ve empowered her to be your mother.”
― Jason Vallotton, Winning the War Within: The Journey to Healing and Wholeness

“As the days passed, my soul was at war within itself. I was torn between my feelings of anger and what I had been taught my whole life about forgiveness. The problem was, I needed justice. I began to think and write about what true justice”
― Jason Vallotton, Winning the War Within: The Journey to Healing and Wholeness