Joseph Robert Lewis > Quotes

“from”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Assassins of the Steam Age

“So we spend a few months on the road, looking for the Alcani. And say we find them. Either the Dragon Solstice happens, and we save the world, or it doesn’t happen, and we’ve still found a lost people, and all it cost us was a few months on the road. Besides, we’ve seen the scars all over Tenjia and Duskland. The burned forests and fields of ash. There aren’t enough faeries to bring back the land, not at the rate the dragons are scorching it. I think it makes sense that the unicorns are supposed to be here, protecting the land, somehow. Only an idiot would ignore a disaster she could see with her own eyes, stick her head in the sand, and hope it all works out just fine on its own.”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Elf Saga: Doomsday: Part One: Blood of the Dragon

“Well damn,” Lozen says softly as she saunters over. “Look at the stones on you.” I look at the hunter as I put away the horn. “What are you talking about?” “Staring down a dragon all by yourself.” Lozen grins. “You idiot, you don’t even know how that horn works. For all you know, you could have been telling that dragon that you were a steak dinner, extra rare. With fresh peppercorns. And butter. And cream. Damn, I’m hungry.” “Well, I guess I got lucky.” “I guess so. Idiot.” Lozen punches me on the arm, still grinning. “Now can we get back to bed, please?”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Elf Saga: Doomsday: Part One: Blood of the Dragon

“I don’t know what this compass means, and I don’t care. We still have a job to do.” I point at Lang. “You, up.” “Execution time!” Lozen sings out. “No executions,” I say tiredly. “We’re not going to kill him?” Lozen asks incredulously. “He’s the bad guy!” “And he’s got a royal pardon in his pocket, and I don’t want to deal with that. So we’ll drag him along to the next jail we come across and let the locals deal with him.” I step back as the Dusklander struggles to his feet and starts limping toward the house. Lozen pouts. “Seriously? A trial? Where’s the drama and excitement in that?” “Oh, Gallian trials can be pretty dramatic,” Min says. “Most Gallians lawyers are sleeping with each other, and when they get bored, they hold secret gladiator fights in their basements.” “Holy crap, that’s awesome!” Lozen stares at her. “Wait. Are you just screwing with me?” “Yeah.” Min smiles. “Real lawyers are pretty boring. But at least the ones in”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Elf Saga: Doomsday: Part One: Blood of the Dragon

“Spiders. Thousands upon thousands of spiders, of every size and color and shape imaginable, are running and crawling and climbing over each other, and over the people.”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Elf Saga: Doomsday: Part One: Blood of the Dragon

“Well, aren’t you just a pile of happy thoughts?” Lozen grumbles. “I bet there’s a whole sack full of dead puppies crammed up your ass, isn’t there?” “I stand ready to submit to a thorough search, whenever you like, buttercup.” The bounty hunter grins.”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Elf Saga: Doomsday: Part One: Blood of the Dragon

“I’m sure we’d have gotten here a lot sooner if we were riding on prostitutes.” “Horses!” “Whatever!”
― Joseph Robert Lewis, Elf Saga: Doomsday: Part One: Blood of the Dragon