Brian P. Cleary > Quotes

“A good friend will help you plant your tulips. A great friend will help you plant a gun on the unarmed intruder you just shot.”
― Brian P Cleary

“Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.”
― Brian P. Cleary, You Oughta Know By Now

“It’s not technically gossip if you start your sentence with “I’m really concerned about __________________ ,” (fill in the name of the person you’re not gossiping about).”
― Brian P. Cleary, You Oughta Know By Now

“Any cupcake consumed before 9AM is, technically, a muffin.”
― Brian P. Cleary

“Not only is love blind, it’s a little hard of hearing.”
― Brian P. Cleary, You Oughta Know By Now

“When a kid says "smell my hand," it almost never smells like cinnamon.”
― Brian P. Cleary, You Oughta Know By Now

“If a couple has their picture taken at a wedding or other social gathering, and the woman looks hot, her guy could be blinking, chewing, or even mid-sneeze, and she’ll still display it on her desk at work.”
― Brian P. Cleary

“If you treat what you value most in life more like a garden and less like a vending machine, you’ll probably be happier. (from You Oughta Know By Now)”
― Brian P Cleary

“There’s no such thing as free kittens.”
― Brian P. Cleary, You Oughta Know By Now

“Children are like sponges; they start to smell after a little while.”
― Brian P. Cleary, You Oughta Know By Now