Christopher Bunn > Quotes

“Your clothing is not—how do we say?—not in harmony with the evening. Your shoes—oh, your shoes! I could write several depressing poems in the styling of Monsieur Camus about the existential problems posed by your shoes.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“I don’t believe in lawyers, just like I don’t believe in Santa Claus. I’m Irish, so, even though I believe in some things, a man has to draw the line somewhere.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“While you’re fighting off whatever monster is chewing on your ankle, just remember that it’s a learning experience. You can never place too high a value on education. Particularly the hands-on sort.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Wicked Day

“The room was in pandemonium. Women shrieking their fool heads off. Men screaming as well. There was a concerted effort to get out of the place as fast as possible, but, in general, people don’t do well in emergencies. Most of them seemed to have forgotten where the front doors were. The string quartet in the corner kept their heads, however, and launched into an energetic rendition of Flight of the Bumblebees.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“The place was as silent as my Uncle Melvin that one Christmas when he fell into a coma after his third helping of pork chops.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“The fork stabbed down into the upholstery, about an inch from my head. I was afraid she was going to hurt someone with that knife, so I wrestled her into the closet and locked the door. She thumped about and hollered in there, but I’ve learned over the years that you have to be firm with women. They respect that in a man.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“But if enough people seek to do what is right and true, then the mosaic of their lives is in harmony with the mosaics of all those who choose in like fashion. Some people, however, choose the darkness, even though they do not realize what they have done. There are only two colors of the mosaic: darkness and that which is not darkness, and the two can never exist in harmony.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Shadow at the Gate

“man thinks of war as being won with the loud, sudden violence of swords and battle, but the slow, quiet wars can be lost in peace. It is as if the whole land sleeps. I fear we will awake one day and find that the Dark has crept so close that its face is the face of our neighbor, our loved one, ourselves.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Shadow at the Gate

“Something’s wrong,” I said. It felt wrong. Wrong like discovering a Russian dance troupe hiding in your closet. Or waking at 3 a.m. and finding the Mayor shaking your hand, asking for a campaign contribution. Or even as wrong as my Great Aunt Marge. It was that wrong and then some.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“Chocolate Crunchy Crunch was invented by Genghis Khan’s chef, Bharli Zup. The Mongol hordes always carried some in their saddlebags when they rode out to burn and pillage. The original recipe included the pulverized bones of Polish peasants.” “Those Mongols.” I shook my head. “I, uh, assume you updated the recipe a bit?”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“We flew back into Manhattan as the sun was setting. It was beautiful. One of those Hollywood shots with the waning light gilding the skyscrapers, the water on the Hudson, the Statue of Liberty. A flock of birds—pigeons, I guess—fluttered up like doves of peace, and Snix blew right through them. I could smell burnt feathers.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“I shot him in the chest. Three times. And then three or four times more for good measure, because he was looking kind of stubborn.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“The King went. He had never been to the mine before. He had always intended to, but something had always come up. A ham sandwich. An unexpected visit from his Aunt Gertrude. Gophers pillaging the royal garden.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“From the Files of Mike Murphy”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“I had my usual dream that always followed a big dinner of red meat. You know, the one with the troupe of clowns, the Waffen SS division, and Emily Post. It was getting to the good part, where Ms. Post begins her lecture on table settings. The clowns were getting restless and the SS were asking hard questions about salad forks. Of course, the phone started ringing at that moment. Ms. Post answered the phone.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“The blades described circles and arcs and angles, creating a myriad of fantastic tableaus that existed in the air over the platform, springing into being one instant, only to be replaced the next instant with another succession of whirls and lines. Here was the perfect, steel-colored circle of a many-spoked wheel throwing off a dazzle of light. Here was the abrupt unfolding of a lady’s fan, opening with a clatter and formed of light and air and iron death. And there was a strange flower grown of loops and whorls and deadly clashing petals.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Shadow at the Gate

“What we want and what we get are usually two different things,” said the duke. “When you reach my age, you look back and realize that, perhaps, they were the same all the time. And what has happened, whether it be a boy cutting his finger on a knife, the birth of a foal, the blossoming of a flower on the plain of Scarpe, will all one day be seen as blindingly important, woven together with countless other threads into something that can’t be seen now, from where we stand, but can be seen from some other vantage point.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Wicked Day

“The morning sun was as hot as the Devil’s coffee. The pavement was hotter.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“My feet hurt. I needed some new shoes. Or maybe it was high time I got in shape. I was six-three in my socks, heavy enough with muscle, but my gut was starting to show the influence of a few too many beers. I could join a gym. Pump some iron, run on a treadmill while staring at a TV talk show twenty inches in front of my face. Do time on the elliptical next to some flabby gasper in spandex. Or maybe I just needed better shoes.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“the Dark could not create of its own power. It could not make something out of nothing. Rather, it could only remake and twist things that already existed into shapes of its own device. “The Dark is only a warped reflection of what is good in this world,” said the hawk. “Think of it like this: you cast a shadow as you walk along this path; the shadow cannot cast you. However, if the Dark somehow gained control of you, then it would slowly work its will in you until you were only a reflection of who you once were—a dim, ugly reflection.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Shadow at the Gate

“He ran most of the organized crime in the city: five gambling joints, three whorehouses, and both political parties.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“March 20. Bizarre. Guy in tights, wearing a sword, strode into office. Shouting something about rescuing the sleeping beauty. Drew sword and killed copy machine.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“For dessert, I had another rib eye”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“Step on it, or I’ll knock your block off!” “Less KGB shtick,” said the cabbie, inching out into traffic. “More glass of vodka, you know I mean?” “All right, you little squeezer. Fifty bucks if you get there pronto!” “That’s like it! You are the cool man!”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“Elves are as strong as steel, quick as fireflies, and as bouncy as a rubber ball. Herk and Jerzy were making easy money. On slow days at the Pole, I’ve seen them go box with the polar bears. The bears are stubborn enough to keep on trying, but they never win.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories

“It is said that life—and by that I mean all of everything that exists—is like a mosaic made of countless tiny stones. Each person’s life comprises a part of the mosaic, and each person can only see their part of the mosaic. Birth, death, love, and hate—all the pain, sweat, and grief that are the lot of every man—those are the stones man is given power to place. Our choices dictate how our own few stones are laid into the larger pattern of the mosaic.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Shadow at the Gate

“Though the important thing to understand was that the Dark could not create of its own power. It could not make something out of nothing. Rather, it could only remake and twist things that already existed into shapes of its own device.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Shadow at the Gate

“It was the third hour after midnight, when the tide of blood is at its lowest ebb, when the soul sinks so low in slumber that the sleeper drifts near to death. The third hour after midnight is the time when dreams and nightmares gain form; the scratching at the door, the tapping at the window, and the stealthy step in the hallway come close to reality. In”
― Christopher Bunn, A Storm in Tormay

“In my day as a beat cop, we didn’t know the meaning of the word fear! We were men. We didn’t mind getting shot every now and then. Hell, I used to get shot at nearly once a week, and that was just my wife.”
― Christopher Bunn, The Mike Murphy Files and Other Stories