Jessica Cage > Quotes

“We often joked about someone being dumb enough to perform a spell from a novel and it working,”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Hooked Up with a Vampire

“Whitney, the truth is out there now.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Hooked Up with a Vampire

“I’m just going to nod and accept this as a fact so you can continue your story.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Hooked Up with a Vampire

“Sometimes, you can be a real jerk, and then other times, you’re nice to me. You say things about being by my side and making it out together,” I explained. “I say what works in the moment.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“People pleasing only hurts the one doing the pleasing.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“He left his booty juice in my car!” I”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Yes. You’ve said that already.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“You’re a demon.” I disregarded his comment as more images of the night flashed through my mind. “A demon with horns and a rotating dick. And I fucked you?” “Sounds about right.” He nodded.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Not my coffee maker!” I cried out when I found my top-of-the-line machine broken in half. “Evil ass bitch!”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Look, I wish I could shut that part of my brain off that wants companionship. It would sure as hell save me a lot of heartache. The dating pool is full of piss and poor decisions, and the few of us still brave enough to swim in it are coming out with infections.” “That’s colorful.” He frowned. “But it explains a lot.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Remember when we used to get together and do that thing at sleepovers? The spell that’s supposed to let us lift someone with our fingertips? What was it? Light as a feather, stiff as a board. That never worked.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I think you ruptured something.” Metice shook his head and tapped his ear like he was tuning an instrument. “I may be deaf in one ear. Say something quick.” He plugged his left ear and leaned in with his right. “I don’t give a fuck about your damn hearing! You actually brought me to hell!”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I can’t pop up here every time you’re in danger,”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I didn’t question him. Clearly, there was a problem, and I wasn’t about to make it mine. Shit, I had enough to deal with.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Hooked Up with a Vampire

“There is no way I’m actually in hell.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Oh, my God.” “Do not praise God when looking at my dick,” he ordered. “Oh, my… devil?” I frowned and forced my eyes away from his member to look up at him. “Whoever is responsible, they did a good job.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“You called?” the deep voice spoke from the corner where the apparent intruder stood. “Oh, hell no!” I bolted for the door, titties flopping with each step.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“How is it that someone who is so impressive, someone with so much life under your belt, deals with such ridiculous men?”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“What was it like? Your break with reality.” “They call it derealization,”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“As my eyes fell on the seat, I shuddered. Flashes of ashy cheeks passed through my mind,”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Her choice, when it was required of her, was me.”
― Jessica Cage, Siren's Test

“I swear, I am done with dating!” Of course, I’d said it a hundred times before. Hell, every single woman over thirty-five had, but what was I supposed to do? Give up? Maybe that was the answer: wave the white flag proudly above my head, buy a few cats, and head off into the mountains, never to be seen again.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I cried and smacked his ass.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Booty Juice:”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I had no idea what it would be like to wash my ass with lava rocks, but I didn’t want to find out.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“The idea of making new friendships as an adult sounded as appealing as detangling my hair with a fine-toothed comb. With everyone bringing their own bag of drama and prejudices, tiptoeing around them became a nightmare.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“Olian ran forward, and I held my hand out, hoping the magic that had knocked her on her ass the first time would work. Of course, it didn’t. I stood there holding my hand out to her, focusing on energy, because that was the only piece of instruction I could remember. The magical girlies just focused on what they wanted the power to do, and it did it. Now, though, it looked like I was just standing there, waiting for a high five.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I vomited right into the bitch’s pussy! I gagged as I stared at the chunks dripping from her inner”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I wish I could shut that part of my brain off that wants companionship. It would sure as hell save me a lot of heartache. The dating pool is full of piss and poor decisions, and the few of us still brave enough to swim in it are coming out with infections.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend

“I finished the last bite of burger and followed it with a sip of soda. He’d brought seventeen burgers and one drink.”
― Jessica Cage, I Accidentally Summoned a Demon Boyfriend