Ann Charles > Quotes

“The first time I came to Deadwood, I got shot in the ass." -Violet Parker”
― Ann Charles

“Call me crotchety, but I didn’t like being bossed around, especially before I’d injected caffeine into my system. Violet Parker”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“I knew that kind of thinking was paranoid, but after the wacky crap that had happened to me over the last couple of months, these days I’d be suspicious of a jolly white-bearded man in a red suit carrying a bag over his shoulder.(Violet Parker)”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“Lucille,” Norma Jean whispered loud enough for me to hear from my foliage hideout. She leaned over her walker and adjusted her glasses. “Is that Willis Harvey up front by Elsa?”

“Well, pinch my pooch, I believe it is,” Lucille said. “I barely recognize him with his clothes on.”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“I’m not ‘stubborn.’”

“Oh, really?”

Lifting my chin, I said, “I’m determined.” (Violet to Doc)”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“Violet Lynn Parker, you’d better spill or I’ll start bellowing ‘Happy Birthday’ to you in my Bobcat Goldthwait voice.”
― Ann Charles, Optical Delusions in Deadwood

“I needed to plug that hole in my head where the marbles were pouring out.”
― Ann Charles, Optical Delusions in Deadwood

“I thought you were makin’ small talk about the weather.”
“When have I ever made small talk with you?”
“When we first met.”
“No, I made small talk with Bessie, your shotgun, until you removed her double barrels from my kisser.”
Violet and a typical conversation with Harvey”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“we could slam tequila shots over my current problem until we came up with a solution … or passed out trying.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“For some stupid reason, I had this irrational need to prove to Cooper that I could inspect dead bodies over black coffee and maple bars just like him and the other guys on the police force.
(Violet Parker)”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“I’d sort of lost the reins on my control, and the horses were running away with the carriage while I held on for dear life.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“I’m seeing someone.” He grinned sheepishly. “Well, not officially, but we’re screwing around every chance we get.” “Oh, that’s … uh … wonderful.” Hallmark needed to make a card that said: I’m positively thrilled you’re getting laid!”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“she was always falling for the guys who promised her the moon and then delivered stinky cheese with a side of infidelity.”
― Ann Charles, Better Off Dead in Deadwood

“Where you been, girl?” Harvey answered. “I’ve been sendin’ you twits for the last hour.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“Hawke’s thick black unibrow scrunched in the middle as the two sides of his forehead collided in a curious display of plate tectonics.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“I hoped she used protection when getting naked with him. Chainmail underneath a hazmat suit should be enough.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“I had a feeling that Harvey wore his shotgun around the house like a pair of holey underwear.”
― Ann Charles, Nearly Departed in Deadwood

“Your like herpes you show up when shit gets tense, and never fully go away! - (Cooper to Violet)”
― Ann Charles, Better Off Dead in Deadwood

“I had a reputation for scary smiles that sent children shrieking away. Evil clowns had nothing on me.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“This was turning into a B-rated Mexican soap opera, all pasión caliente and bad acting. I slammed the cupboard door into his face, a trick I’d learned from an old Tom and Jerry cartoon. However, unlike Tom the cat, Rex’s face wasn’t as flat as a pancake when I pulled the door away. But his nose was bleeding. I pointed at it. “Oops. You’ve got a little blood there.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“Without warning, I stomped my heel down on Detective Hawke’s toe. Hard. He squealed and did a one-footed jig. I debated on clapping along.”
― Ann Charles, An Ex to Grind in Deadwood

“Nothing good ever happens at the butt-crack of dawn.”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“fingers they’re big hits.” She headed”
― Ann Charles, Nearly Departed in Deadwood

“Katie shrugged. “I took a detour.” “Damn it, Katie. You need to be more careful. You’re pregnant, remember?” “Just a second ago you were talking about jamming a spyglass up my hoo-ha. Now you’re going to act protective?”
― Ann Charles, The Rowdy Coyote Rumble

“Sitting in the shadows next to the Volvo was Mr. FBI’s pickup. Inside of the cab, his lit cigarette burned red then faded to a pale orange. She paused next to his open window, slipping on the jean jacket she’d borrowed from Claire. Old Hank Williams Sr.’s singing Your Cheatin’ Heart came from his speakers.”
― Ann Charles, The Rowdy Coyote Rumble

“You smell good. Who’s this ‘guy’ you’re meeting? Are you back on the market?” He wiggled both blond eyebrows at me. “Does that mean Doc Nyce is no longer petting your cat?” I frowned. “Petting my cat?” What did Bogart, our vegetarian cat, have to do with Doc? Jeff leaned in for another sniff. “I’m really good at petting cats, too.” Oh, dear Lord! My brain had finally dipped low enough into the gutter to catch Jeff’s meaning. I shoved him back a step. “Doc is still petting my …” No! Just walk away, doofus. I started to do just that, but then stopped and turned back. In case Tiffany was going to be hearing the play-by-play of my run-in with Jeff, I wanted to clarify things so the red-headed siren wouldn’t get any ideas about trying to steal Doc away from me. We’d done that song and dance before, and there would be no encores on that score. “Doc Nyce is still my boyfriend,” I announced. Sheesh, “boyfriend” was such a silly word for a woman my age. “I mean, we’re a definite couple in all the ways.” Jeff grinned. “Which ways are those?” “You know, the ‘couple’ ways.” When he just stared at me with a dumb grin, I added, “Boom, boom, out goes the lights.” His laughter rang out loud and clear, catching the attention of people on the opposite side of the street. “I’m not sure if you know this, Violet Parker, but that old song actually refers to landing a knock-out punch.” Thinking back on all the times I’d pinched, elbowed, and tackled Doc, including the black eye I’d accidentally given him, I shrugged. “Sex with Doc is amazingly physical. He’s a real heavy hitter under the sheets, delivering a solid one-two sock-’em every time.” I wasn’t sure what I was alluding to by this point, but I kept throwing out boxing slang to fill the void. “I’d give you the real dirty blow-by-blow, but we don’t sell ringside tickets for our wild sex matches.” His jaw gaped. “No kidding?” Before my big mouth unleashed another round of idiotic sex-boxing ambiguities, I said, “See you around, Jeff.”
― Ann Charles, Never Say Sever in Deadwood

“You’re sending your flying monkeys after the self-righteous blowhard, aren’t you?” “I can’t. They’re out on another vengeful mission.” “Oh,”
― Ann Charles, A Wild Fright in Deadwood

“Your guns won’t help, Cooper. Not where we’re going.” “Maybe not, but the sound they make when I fire them always makes me feel better.”
― Ann Charles, A Wild Fright in Deadwood

“named”
― Ann Charles, Dead Case in Deadwood

“The thing about ‘crazy’ is that it doesn’t ride away into the sunset. It just hides in the closet and keeps jumping out to scare the crap out of you when you least expect it.”
― Ann Charles, Meanwhile, Back in Deadwood