David Ossman > Quotes

“You have violated Robot's Rules of Order and will be asked to leave the Future.”
― Firesign Theatre (Performing group)

“My skull connects with a hard, flat thing I think is the wet asphalt pavement of the parking lot, but turns out to be a bolt of greasy lightning that knocks me off a high wall into a deep, wet place that covers me up tight under a blue-black blanket of blankness…”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies

“I still do think fondly about my days in Edendale and Mixville — the little-known corners of the city limits where the movies actually were born. Tucked into the once barren hills just west of Downtown were the studios of Western hero Tom Mix and fledgling cartoonist Walt Disney. Behind razor wire near Glendale Boulevard lingered a small stone monument to Comedy. Why? Because the ancient Selig Company had once made movies there.”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies

“ROSCO: I haven’t been happy with my part, Bunny. It’s totally underwritten. Just listen to that last line, for instance! Who could do anything with “It’s totally underwritten?” Where’s the heart in a line like that? Where’s the character?”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies

“The War of the Worlds 50th-Anniversary Production honors The Power of Radio. It also pays tribute to that original broadcast — to its sense of humor and its crafty simulation of radio, military and government people trying to cope with an unfolding emergency. In this new production we’ve looked at these people through the media of our time, while keeping the dramatic rhythms of the historic original intact. I like this audio medium when it’s magical. When it fools the ear. I like it when it has something to risk and risks it. I like it when it uses its own Power to create an effect. And now that we can take audio theatre outdoors and on location, why not do a story that develops in many places — simultaneously? The War of the Worlds is sort of the Midsummer Night’s Dream of radio drama.”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies

“It was time to use the audio medium to look into the future once again, and the opportunity was taken by The Firesign Theatre to transport its fans to The Future Fair, which introduced a new generation to the fast-arriving Digital Age. “I Think We’re All Bozos on This Bus” (1971) took its listeners into the Hard Disk of Darkness,”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies

“I was going to a spot where I knew the water still flowed directly from the earth. A long time ago, with an Indian guide who knew something of the territory, I was shown a spring which never dries, where the Caweng-na Village sat, between the paws of Bear Mountain. (All this may sound hokey, but it is, of course, true.)”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies

“ROSCO: Rosco is on. MARK: Try morphing into something a little less combat-ready. ROSCO: It’s a glitch in my program. Travolta virus. You could call the help-line…”
― David Ossman, Dr. Firesign's Follies