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“Little one! Good one! Beloved!

The sun is baking, the waves are rolling and I love you. Today Lasse and I
went out and sailed in the snipe, enjoying ourselves on the most gor-
geous beach, with comfortable mats and the Mediterranean foaming
under the soles of my feet. There’s a great wind, and I love only, only you.
I’ve never been more disappointed than I was in Miel when there was
no letter from you. I just hope you haven’t changed your mind, that
you’ve found your Superman that you’ve always been going around
dreaming about. I want so much to be your Superman, to be your
Mofschen, I want to hold you in my arms and kiss your eyes . . .
You must always love me, Marianne, never leave me. Perhaps we are
among the few who can really be good together. We’ve fought, been crazy with jealousy and devilry, and always found our way back to each other —
and that’s where it’s wonderful to be . . .
Darling, darling, Marianne. My yearning for you is indescribable. I
often imagine that it’s the two of us who are here in the Mediterranean.
But the time will come. The whole future lies before us.”
Kari Hesthamar, So Long, Marianne: A Love Story
“I write because I must. Without creating existence loses all meaning. I write because I must release my mind of something that is pressing to come out . . . My self is my only motive. I love you, Marianne. I could do everything for you. But you must live your own life. I can’t live your life for you. I can’t create for you either. You must work all this out for yourself. One can’t do anything for someone else. One can’t know what is best for
another person, deep down. How would one know? One doesn’t even
know oneself. ⁶”
Kari Hesthamar
“. . . Do you remember all the tiny turtles? How they hatched and how
they began to run down toward the shore. On the way many were eaten
up by birds. Only a few survived and made it to the ocean, to the water.
There even more were eaten by fish, and perhaps some few grew up and
became large. Just a few managed to carry out the program of their lives.
The others were consumed by life. Their forms disappeared. They disinte-
grated in the stomachs of birds or fish. Became the flapping of wings or
the gentle movements of tail fins. But the original idea, to become a tur-
tle, was not realized. That could only happen in the great depths. That is
essentially man’s place in the universe. Just a few of us reach the edge of
the water, the place where the spirit can be nourished. Just a few of us
accomplish our goal and become Human, far too many become some-
thing else, something used up by life, something that is equated with life.
But when we come down to the great depths. Then the world is still and
clarified . . . I want so much to be your sustenance, to be your light and your
water. That’s why I’m often seized by bitterness when I see that instead
I’m the person who makes you desperate, chaotic, confused and unhappy
. . . My own wonderful turtle, I feel and I hope that you have this some-
thing extra in you that can open your eyes so that you can see the ugly
vampire that sits on your back, that creature in yourself that empties you
of nourishment. And when you begin to suspect something of this . . .
this unknown power that is fed by your negative emotional life willwithdraw, the devil will lose his interest in you and God will redouble his.
Forgive me this letter. I love you.”
Kari Hesthamar, So Long, Marianne: A Love Story
“Leonard: I remember Marianne and I were in a hotel in Piraeus, some inex-
pensive hotel. We were both about twenty-five and we had to catch the boat
back to Hydra. We got up and I guess we had a cup of coffee or something
and got a taxi, and I’ve never forgotten this. Nothing happened, just sitting in
the back of the taxi with Marianne, [lighting] a cigarette, a Greek cigarette that
had that delicious deep flavour of a Greek cigarette that has a lot of Turkish to-
bacco in it, and thinking, I have a life of my own, I’m an adult, I’m with this
beautiful woman, we have a little money in our pocket, we’re going back to Hydra,
we’re passing these painted walls. That feeling I think I’ve tried to recreate hun-
dreds of times unsuccessfully. Just that feeling of being grown up, with some-
body beautiful that you’re happy to be beside and all the world is in front of
you. Your body is suntanned and you’re going to get on a boat. That’s a feeling
I remember very, very accurately.”
Kari Hesthamar, So Long, Marianne: A Love Story
“Days of Kindness

Greece is a good place
to look at the moon, isn’t it”
Kari Hesthamar, So Long, Marianne: A Love Story
“At the office in the morning, Marianne drew an arrow-pierced heart,
inscribed “A + M” and accompanied by a greeting to her sleeping boyfriend:

Yes, now your little wife is sitting at the office, plinking at the typewriter
and thinking only of you. I love you more than anything on Earth, Venus,
Jupiter, Mars, Saturn and all the worlds that don’t exist. Take a good
stretch and go into the bathroom, in the pocket of your new suit there’s a
little breakfast: buy fresh rolls, 1/3 of a litre of milk and something inspir-
ing to put on the bread. Then wash your shirts until they’re snow white
and hang them to dry in the sunshine. Then you can do whatever you like,
as long as you don’t forget me for a single moment all day. I’ll call you at
12:30 (or 1).”
Kari Hesthamar, So Long, Marianne: A Love Story

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So Long, Marianne: A Love Story So Long, Marianne
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