W.C. Sellar > Quotes

“The Scots (originally Irish, but by now Scotch) were at this time inhabiting Ireland, having driven the Irish (Picts) out of Scotland; while the Picts (originally Scots) were now Irish (living in brackets) and vice versa. It is essential to keep these distinctions clearly in mind (and verce visa).”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“N.B. – Do not on any account attempt to write on both sides of the paper at once.”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“Gladstone .. spent his declining years trying to guess the answer to the Irish Question; unfortunately, whenever he was getting warm, the Irish secretly changed the Question, ...”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“With the ascension of Charles I to the throne we come at last to the Central Period of English History (not to be confused with the Middle Ages, of course), consisting in the utterly memorable Struggle between the Cavaliers (Wrong but Wromantic) and the Roundheads (Right but Repulsive).”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“While the Roman Empire was overrun by waves not only of Ostrogoths, Vizigoths and even Goths, but also of Vandals (who destroyed works of art) and Huns (who destroyed everything and everybody, including Goths, Ostrogoths, Vizigoths and even Vandals), Britain was attacked by waves of Picts (and, of course, Scots) who had recently learnt how to climb the wall, and of Angles, Saxons and Jutes who, landing at Thanet, soon overran the country with fire (and, of course, the sword).”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“Memorable among the Saxon warriors were Hengist and his wife (? or horse), Horsa. Hengist made himself King in the South. Thus Hengist was the first English King and his wife (or horse), Horsa, the first English Queen (or horse).”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“One day when George III was insane he heard that the Americans never had afternoon tea. This mace him very obstinate and he invited them all to a compulsory tea-party at Boston: the Americans, however, started pouring the tea into Boston harbour and went on pouring things into Boston harbour until they were quite Independent, thus causing the United States.”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England

“It was at this time that some very pious Englishmen, known as the Early Fathers, who were being persecuted for not learning Avoirduroi, sailed away to America in a ship called the Mayfly; this is generally referred to as the Pilgrims' Progress and was one of the chief causes of America.”
― W.C. Sellar

“King Alfred was the first Good King, with the exception of Good King Wenceslas, who though he looked 4th, really came first (it is not known, however, what King Wenceslas was King of). Alfred ought never to be comfused with King Arthur, equally memorable but probably non-existent and therefore perhaps less important historically (unless he did exist).”
― W.C. Sellar

“Alfred ought never to be confused with King Arthur, equally memorable but probably non-existent and therefore perhaps less important historically (unless he did exist).”
― W.C. Sellar, 1066 and all that: A memorable history of England