Jon Richardson > Quotes

“I don't mean to hate people, I just get forced into it.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“If you love something,
Let it go,
If it comes back it's yours,
That's how you know kno-o-ow

Nonsense, Christina Aguilera! I say, 'If you love it, file it away under "Things I love". If it's required at a later date, you'll know exactly where it i-i-i-is.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“There is simply too much to be done for us all to go round 'enjoying ourselves.' When the world is perfect, then we can all sit down and eat jelly beans, but for now the fact that things are going well for you just means that you are in a position to alleviate someone else's suffering for a while.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“I refuse to believe that clubbing is how people are supposed to meet to establish relationships on a level for beyond what we consider to be a norm in modern society.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“I know very well that I have no reason to feel aggrieved - I am fully aware of how lucky I am, but knowing it and still being down makes me hate myself all the more.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“I am in no doubt that if you use the term 'luv' in a letter or text message then you are incapable of truly understanding the emotion. Artists have not pored over heartache and unrequited sentimentality for years so that our generation could decide that four letters is simply one too many to express how we feel.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“I don’t need someone to complete me, I need someone to make things a little bit better every now and again.”
― Jon Richardson

“Anyone who tells you that it is better to have loved and lost that to never loved at all has never done both.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“My favourite pub game is, of course, snooker. Any game whose rules basically amount to finding a table covered in mess and slowly and methodically putting it all away out of sight is one with which I can empathise emphatically.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“Any second... now? No. I am a 'mourning person'. Not because anybody close to me has recently passed away, but because I use that term to describe my demeanour at daybreak and as a way of separating myself from what are known as 'morning people' - those high-functioning, grinning morons, who skip out their beds and pounce at the dawn as eagerly and energetically as a young puppy greets a hanging shoelace.
My mornings are (with the exception of Christmas Day) dark and sombre affairs, spent grieving the sleep of which I've been robbed; morning is when blades of daylight hack viciously at the dreams that have kept you company through the night.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“Why do fools fall in love? I'll tell you why, because everybody else has simply got too much else to do.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“I believe passionately in love, I even believe in 'the one' to a certain exert, but I am willing to play the waiting game and patiently await their arrival rather than dive into relationships I know not to be right in the mean time.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“The last time I went back to a girl's house for an impromptu house party I spent most of the night straightening out rugs, putting down coasters and alphabetising DVDs while all around me people got off with whoever was closest and gradually headed off to various rooms to make more mess, no doubt.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“I don’t mean to hate people, I just get forced into it.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“Such is my desire only to see the best parts of my partner and vice-versa that I must confess to being able to remember each time I have seen someone I was in love with fall over. I cannot help but be disappointed by such a shocking inability to perform such a simple task as staying upright.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“My weirdness aside, if I am to find any friends, particularly a girlfriend, she will almost certainly have to be a human. My previous track record tends to suggest that of all species that exist on the planet, it has so far been exclusively humans to whom I find myself sexually attracted. This is a good thing legally if nothing else.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“The test of total independence comes each night when the bedroom door closes behind you, the lights go out and all that there is to keep you company in the infinite darkness are your thoughts.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“The only honest answer when someone asks you if you love them is 'at the moment, yes', but try saying that without getting a kick in the chaps.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“It does not come naturally to me to be spontaneous, and admittedly that is the only way in which it can come. As soon as you have planned to do something spontaneously, you actually haven’t. Why wouldn’t you choose to plan something ahead of time rather than ‘see how it goes’? I can tell you how it will go, my friend – not as well as it would have if you had planned it.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“Happiness, like sleep, in order to be fully effective must involve some sort of yielding of conscious thought.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“Friendship was something that transcended physicality; it was almost purer than any love you could feel for a partner. The friends you make as a child who stay with you throughout your life do so not because they find you attractive, or they gain financially from your time together, but because something deep down connects the two of you. Because you have stayed with each other through more than one period of your evolution.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“University is where people go to 'find themselves' which is all well and good, but it should not be assumed that you will like what you discover there.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“It is probably worth asking at this point, who exactly is my perfect woman? Attractive? Yes. Intelligent. Of course. Blah blah blah … All of these things together? Absolutely not! What on earth would a woman like that be doing with a man such as myself? Cheating on him, that’s what.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“People would like to think that the decisions we make in our lives are ephemeral and impossible to quantify but they aren’t really. Most of the things we do that will hurt other people are known to us before we carry them out, and rather than discover afterwards that there were hidden consequences to our actions, in truth we simply make a value judgement on whether or not what we stand to gain by upsetting someone else justifies the decision for ourselves.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“It is so much easier to grieve for the dead than to care for the living. At least in death we are all perfect.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“When the world is perfect, then we can all sit down and eat jelly beans, but for now the fact that things are going well for you just means that you are in a position to alleviate someone else’s suffering for a while.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“People who arrive late do so precisely because they know they will be waited for. Until we all make a decision to leave behind those who do not respect schedules, they will never learn. If this means leaving your twelve-year-old son in a service station on the M1 then so be it. He has to learn.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“The sea, however, doesn’t care.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You

“There are no wrong answers, Jon, except for the one you just gave.”
― Jon Richardson

“People who tell you that they live their lives in the moment are, in my experience, only doing so because they are afraid of their future or ashamed of their past. These are people for whom thinking of anything other than the fork in their hand or the song in their head or the next step they are going to take frightens them so much that they pretend it is some kind of inspiring and advisable philosophy to do simply whatever it occurs to them to do at that moment in time.”
― Jon Richardson, It's Not Me, It's You