Kelley York > Quotes

“Karma is a cruel mistress.”
― Kelley York, Hushed

“The idea of not being a kid anymore terrifies me. I am an adult and I have been hurled out of the world of boys and girls into the fray of men and women, and expected to function as a grown-up when I never functioned very well as a kid.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Everyone’s had shit in their lives. Some people have it worse than others. But no one can turn you into a bad person, just like no one can turn you into a good one. We’re all dealt our hands in life, and how we choose to react is entirely up to us. That’s free will.”
― Kelley York, Hushed

“I can physically see the effort it takes for him to open his mouth and force out the words. He's spent so much of his life not being seen, not being heard, that he's forgotten how to realize anything he says does hold weight and is important.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“It doesn't matter if it could be worse, because even those people living on the street could still say 'it's not as bad as it could be.' You still feel the pain. It still matters. All this means nothing unless you have people around who understand you. People who get that, sometimes, you're just...really, really fucking sad and it's for no reason at all. Then you get pissed off 'cause you realize you're upset without a good reason, and you feel even worse.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Once upon a time, I lost everything and I was so alone. The sadness, the hurt, it all seemed so infinite. When you're wandering alone in a storm, you can't see the end, or if there even is one, and how close it might be.

I'm still wandering, but maybe I don't feel so lost now.

I'll keep trying. I promise.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Even the stars are lies. They sparkle so brightly, but their shine takes years to reach us.”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“The ledge isn't even wide enough for my feet to fit on completely. I hang onto the rail tightly and do a Casper does...leaning out slowly over the water. Like this, there is no safety. No rail to catch me if I slip. I'm almost flying. Between me and death, there is...nothing. Nothing in the way but my own decision to hang on.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Everyone lets you down, it's a fact of life, Marissa told him once. The key is to know when they're doing it because they don't care enough to try not to.”
― Kelley York, Hushed

“Just because someone doesn't act or look unhappy doesn't mean their lives are perfect." He raises his eyebrows. "There's this method of dealing with things that involves keeping your chin up. Knowing whatever crap you're dealing with right now isn't going to last forever. All things pass.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Except then I wonder what it's like to feel normal because if you take away the things I've felt all my life--the insecurity, the pain, the loneliness, the absolute dissolution of any sane or rational thought during one of my more manic moods and the helplessness when I realize one of said manic moods is creeping up on me (like right now)--what's left after the fact? Emptiness?”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“I'm a lying liar who lies.”
― Kelley York, Hollowed

“It breaks my heart a little in the same way that it makes me smile. We're so close to a happy ending.”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“We’re all made of stars,” he agrees. “We burn bright, then we flicker away".”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“Trying to shoot your girlfriend is a pretty solid way of saying 'It's Over”
― Kelley York, Hollowed

“Briar Greyson, in the bedroom, with the letter opener.”
― Kelley York, Hollowed

“Of course you are. Emotions are totally irrational half the time." Her ice blue eyes lock onto me. "But you have full control over how you deal with them. Acknowledging that something is irrational and refraining from taking it out on someone is the best thing to do.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“That's the sort of person Chance is.

He gets under your skin, and even when he's gone, you still feel him there like a dull ache.

A warm memory you can never quite reclaim.”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“It's true,' he begins, 'that the universe is this big, vast thing, and humans will probably never explore even a tiny fraction of it. But that doesn't mean we're alone or we're displaced from it. All these elements, everything around us, the building blocks of the Earth and life -- even the very air you're breathing -- originated from those stars. We're a part of them. Orion, Draco, Sirius . . . they're a part of us, too.'

Just like that, I can't keep my eyes off Chance. Even Rachael is momentarily entranced, looking bewildered and amazed all at once.

I can't help thinking about it, how we could've all come from different stars, light-years away. Wondering, maybe, if Chance and I came from the same star. If that's what they mean when two people feel they've known each other in a past life.

No, not in a past life -- but that the building blocks of one person's existence could have originated right alongside that of another's.

I wonder if that's why I can't seem to shake him. Why so much of my life has been focused on someone like him.

'So we're all made of stars,' I murmur. So much for not opening my mouth.

Chance twists around, a sad smile on his face as his eyes meet mine. 'We're all made of stars,' he agrees. 'We burn bright, then we flicker away.”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“I am a human being just as deserving of love and happiness as the next person. I tell myself this every day.”
― Kelley York, Dirty London

“I really am the world's shittiest boyfriend. Holding onto something normal for the sake of having it, for nothing other than to keep what is familiar and safe close to me because the alternative is so fucking terrifying I can't begin to wrap my head around it. It has nothing to do with it being another guy and everything to do with it being Chance, and Chance has the ability to shatter me into the minuscule fragments and base elements of the star I supposedly came from.

Who walks willingly into something like that?”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“I take medication that makes me feel absolutely nothing. Medication that scoops out my insides and leaves me hollow. Sometimes I take it because that emptiness is the only way to keep my heart from crumbling to pieces.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Chance-and-me. Two people derived from the same star billions of years ago, searching for each other in a vast universe and only now really finding each other.”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“I desperately want to believe I am not alone.”
― Kelley York, Dirty London

“...I have a magical duck-kitten.”
― Kelley York

“Breathe in, breathe out. Over and over again.
Just to prove a broken heart can't really kill you.”
― Kelley York, Suicide Watch

“Chance orbits Hunter like the planets orbit the sun, aching to be closer but never daring.”
― Kelley York, Made of Stars

“Maybe my life isn't quite that of other kids I go to school with, but who cares? My life has made me who I am, and for the most part, I'm good with that.”
― Kelley York, Dirty London

“I’m not certain I could express to him the way that makes me feel. I kiss him instead, deep and full of want, wishing to convey to him all the things that no amount of poetry in the world could convey. The way William
clings to me, the sighs he makes against my mouth as his fingertips glide across my back as though he can still feel the remnants of m
s him deeply.
If everything goes wrong, if everything ends horribly, if this is the last day I spend in this school or on this earth, I want to go out remembering this. Us. Just as we are, and how I’ve found at least one perfect thing in my life.”
― Kelley York, A Light Amongst Shadows

“I'd be an optimist if people didn't suck so much.”
― Kelley York, Dirty London