Eric Grzymkowski > Quotes

“Be yourself” is about the worst advice you can give some people. —THOMAS L. MASSON, AMERICAN AUTHOR”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some people abuse the privilege. —JOSEPH STALIN”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. —GEORGE CARLIN, AMERICAN COMEDIAN”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the Bible says love your enemy. —FRANK SINATRA”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Children aren’t happy without something to ignore, and that’s what parents were created for.”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them. —DR. SEUSS Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Your talent for compounding disaster is really impressive”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“FAMILY”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Alcoholism is a disease, but it’s the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it, Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it, Otto, you have lupus … one of those two doesn’t sound right. —MITCH HEDBERG, AMERICAN COMEDIAN”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said, “Are you going to help?” I said, “No, six should be enough.”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Your father should have pulled out. —JOHN WAYNE”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something. —PLATO”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“I need plenty of wholesome nutritious alcohol. The chemical energy keeps my fuel cells charged. —BENDER, FUTURAMA”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Adam was the luckiest man; he had no mother-in-law. —MARK TWAIN The only reason my mother-in-law wasn’t on Noah’s Ark was because they couldn’t find another animal that looked like her. —PHYLLIS DILLER, AMERICAN COMEDIAN AND ACTRESS”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. —P. J. O’ROURKE, AMERICAN POLITICAL SATIRIST”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn’t need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. —HENNY YOUNGMAN, BRITISH COMEDIAN”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike

“All of their endeavors are semen-soaked failures.”
― Eric Grzymkowski, The Quotable A**hole: More than 1,200 Bitter Barbs, Cutting Comments, and Caustic Comebacks for Aspiring and Armchair A**holes Alike