Rosalind Wiseman > Quotes

“ou know chicks before dicks. Never choose a guy over a friend. It's one of the most important rules of feminism.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Boys, Girls and Other Hazardous Materials

“each person’s truth is of equal value. No one gets to speak for anyone else or dismiss an opinion just because it’s not shared by the people who have the most power.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes

“The common definition of a clique is an exclusive group of girls who are close friends. I see it a little differently. I see them as a platoon of soldiers who have banded together because they think this is the best way to survive Girl World. There’s a chain of command, and they operate as one to the outside world, even if there may be dissatisfaction within the ranks. Group cohesion is based on unquestioned loyalty to the leaders and an “It’s us against the world” mentality.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World

“17% of girls have experienced a physical attack… 97% of students report regularly hearing homophobic remarks by peers… 53% hear homophobic comments by teaching staff…”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence

“Time and time again, they all say the same thing. The worst punishment is losing your respect and disappointing you and taking away their ability to communicate with their peers.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes

“And this is absolutely certain—teens will never stop coming up with new and creative ways to use technology to go after each other and the adults in the community.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes

“I urge every parent to become a Loving Hard-Ass Parent.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes

“THE POWER OF THE GROUP We all want to feel a sense of belonging. This isn’t a character flaw. It’s fundamental to the human experience. Our finest achievements are possible when people come together to work for a common cause. School spirit, the rightful pride we feel in our community, our heritage, our religion, and our families, all come from the value we place on belonging to a group.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“Respect in Latin means “to look at someone’s conduct and admire them.” When people say to kids, “Respect your elders,” they’re often really saying, “Obey your elders.” But the amazing thing is that kids inherently know the real meaning of respect, and far too often they see adults who don’t merit it—not only public figures, like hypocritical politicians and athletes, but the adults they interact with on a daily basis. This is hard to write, but for some boys it could be one of their parents.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“Our children aren’t stupid, and they’re not naive. They see when adults around them act hypocritically. They see what we value and believe by our actions, not our words.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“For most teenage girls, guys are everything. Boys validate their existence; they define who they are and where they stand in the world. You can talk to boys differently than your girlfriends. Until they screw you over, they can be really fun and comforting.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes

“Popularity doesn’t mean people like you. It means people know you have power and it’s not worth confronting you in a conflict. It’s like having shiny armor that gives you protection to do what you want—plus some girls (especially the ones who like shiny things) think you’re hot. Of course, what armor also does is hide your weaknesses. Before you realize it, you’re so dependent on it that you feel like you always have to wear it.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, The Guide: Managing Douchebags, Recruiting Wingmen, and Attracting Who You Want

“It isn’t enough to say “Be honest” or “Do the right thing,” because in moments of conflict many of us lack the skills to move through the fear and put our values into action. The context of the situation really matters more than a catchphrase. What’s way more useful for boys is to talk to them about what integrity looks like to you under duress.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“You can educate her about how the culture we live in makes it hard to develop an authentic identity and critical thinking skills but very easy to be a mindless consumer of superficial ideas and desires.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World

“People fight over technology in ways they never would face-to-face because they can say their version of events without getting immediate feedback that might challenge it. It allows people to throw more intense self-righteous temper tantrums.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes

“I made a big mistake, which I’m really trying to deal with. You bringing it up makes me feel worse. I’m not sure if that’s your point, but I promise you that I would never make you feel bad if you were in my situation, so I’m done talking about this.” GIRLS”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World

“Because although we have told girls that they’re as smart and as competent as boys, they still get conscious and unconscious messages that they need a man to validate their self-worth and that, to get the man in the first place, they have to present themselves in a nonthreatening (read feminine) manner.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boys, and the New Realities of Girl World

“The stakes are so high. Our boys deserve meaningful relationships, the freedom to pursue what interests and challenges them, a feeling of belonging and social connection to others, and a sense that they’re contributing to something larger than themselves.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“What I’m talking about is how we maintain our ethics and moral compass when we’re in a group. Why? Because conflict is inevitable, and at some point one person will abuse his or her power over another person.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“we often make the mistake of believing that if a boy doesn’t come to us with problems, then he doesn’t have them.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Masterminds and Wingmen: Helping Our Boys Cope with Schoolyard Power, Locker-Room Tests, Girlfriends, andthe New Rules of Boy World

“Be very, very nice to your school's computer specialist. He, along with the custodians, is often the most underappreciated person in the building.”
― Rosalind Wiseman, Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and Other Realities of Adolescence