Ariel Peckel > Quotes

“So purchase The Lie Detector today. Because there isn’t nobody who can’t disprove that infanticidal reptilians don’t rule the unround Earth.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“I thought she was gaslighting me, but she later assured me I was only under that impression because I wasn’t in my right mind.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“HADES: Look, I’m just the messenger. HERMES: No! I am the messenger!”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“Join the Commentation Nation today and start smearing that unique awareness! ** Commentation Incorporated.
Make Your Voice Herd.™ **”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“Gringos fun fact: did you know that, before there were American Indians, there were Indian Indians? Even more surprising is what these Indian Indians believe. Get this: they worship cows.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“You can’t spell budget adventure tours without be adventurous.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“DEMETER: Namaste. How can I help you, rugged sir or ma’am or gender-nonconformant war deity? ARES: Meat! Lots! The tough stuff, for my men! DEMETER: We actually don’t stock brutalized animal carcasses in this boutique. But we do have vegan substitutes.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“When we first opened, our stock was not certified child-friendly by the CPS. So naturally, we became friendly with children. We were delighted to discover that they do indeed say the darndest things;”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“the British are quite similar to us Yanks—or as they pronounce it, “Wanks”—”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“Start lecturing others about the heteronormative problematicity of bio-essentializing modes of discourse today!”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“Australian men are known for being soft-spoken, aristocratic, and for not clustering into gaggles of wankers when they run into each other at hostels.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“EVADERON: You’d never understand my sinister motives. You know why? ’Cause you’re the Taxman, yeah-ah, you’re the Taxman. ROBBIN’: Baffling bandicoots, Taxman! He used that lyric without paying royalties! TAXMAN: Have you no shame, Evaderon?”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“feminocentric narratives of human pregnancy discriminate against gender-nonconformant individuals who identify as alternatively gestational.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“Did I mention our scimitars placed second in Comicon’s “Epic Blades That Are Not Andúril” contest?”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say

“The U.S. Supreme Court is ruthless. At least as of September 18, 2020.”
― Ariel Peckel, Bertram’s Emporium of Things People Say