Jon Moxley > Quotes

“They made a bunch of stupid toys. I remember seeing some at the store where Donatello was a basketball player. … He’s like five feet tall. I guess he could have been a John Stockton type, but the pick-and-roll wouldn’t have worked cuz none of the other turtles were tall either; they would have needed that giant robot body with Krang in his stomach to play power forward, and by that point I think there would have been just too much animosity for them to gel as a team. This book sucks.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Also, Terry Funk rules, bitch.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Great things aren’t achieved with a safety net in place. Safety nets, backup plans — these are distractions, excuses to give up early.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“I don’t believe in backup plans. I call them “10th-hour plans.” You can’t win in the 11th hour if you quit in the 10th hour.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“If you thought you were confused, imagine what it was like being me? Shit, at least you had a remote control. I couldn’t just turn the channel on my own life.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Maybe this book just serves as a guide to what not to do. For instance: Don’t smoke crack. I’ll describe it for you now just so curiosity doesn’t get the better of you: It’s like doing a whip-it and eating wasabi at the same time. Still, if you really just love smoking crack and that’s your thing, I won’t stop you.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“When you’re at the touchscreen ordering a custom sandwich at Wawa and they ask you all those questions, take them seriously.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Don’t pace yourself. Just go until you fall over. We’ll pick you up.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“I’m in the zone, dialed in like a motherfucker and then here comes some pusscake coming at me with a “tone it down.” I remember Hunter telling me, “You just don’t wanna become Terry Funk spinning around in a circle like Homer Simpson. … Whooop … wooooop woooop woop woop.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“This is what you call … a paradigm shift.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“I decided, that Walt Disney magic that only Vince has, and when he dies it’ll be gone forever. Hunter was smart enough to hire half the indies and take Instagram selfies with them, but he ain’t got the magic. Shane would probably stick an M80 up his ass and light it if he thought that’s what fans wanted to see, but he ain’t got it either. Fortunately, though, when Vince is gone, that magic will live on in the hearts and minds of the fans forever.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“One time, Trent Beretta pulled the fire alarm in that bar, because it was a very Trent thing to do.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“After that I’d go back to the flophouse apartment I shared with Ricker, who’s now wrestling for NXT under the name L.A. Knight. Back then he called himself Dick Rick.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“The Gunslinger” was one of our favorites, listening to it we created a secret handshake that was something of a mixture of a cheers, a hang ten and throwing back a shot. When I did Make-A-Wish visits, I would often show the secret handshake to the kid. I would tell them to watch out for the signal after Roman and I defeated the bad guys that night. The memories of looking out into the front row as the Make-A-Wish kids proudly displayed the weird hang ten/problem drinker signal we created, smiles on their faces, are some of my favorite memories. They were on the team. This is why we do this.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“I’d consider all the splendor and beauty of this world and my place in it and then … BAM!!!!! Roadkill! Or I’d get distracted by a Pizza Hut sign.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“searched Craigslist for a room and found one that looked nice for 100 bucks a week in cash (it would turn out to not be nice, like not at all, in the slightest).”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Dustin Rhodes, at 52, is still the fastest man in wrestling. When he hits the ropes with that velocity, leapfrogging, running, ducking and stopping on a dime, dropping to his knees to deliver his trademark Goldust punch, I’d be willing to bet he’s at a resting heart rate. It’s his footwork and timing, honed to perfection from decades of repetition, that make it look so smooth and so fast.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Headup,” a collaboration with Max Cavalera of Soulfly/Sepultura is … Just. The. Shit. Heavy. F’n. Metal. F’n Chino vocals mixed with classic Max vocals … so unique. Put that shit on and get on a bench press … guaranteed new PR.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Obsessed” is a word the lazy use to describe the dedicated.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“I hated Wednesdays in FCW, my least favorite day of the week. Fucking promo class, or excuse me, “The Art of Communication with Dusty Rhodes.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Jack Reacher, one of my favorite literary characters and often an inspiration for my character in AEW, kills motherfuckers at a breakneck pace in pretty unforgiving fashion, but it’s always because it’s the right thing to do. Jack Reacher has no patience for bad guys doing bad-guy shit — he’ll just shoot you — but his moral compass is always irrefutably on point.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Work left, turn right” was painted on the wall, and it meant, as I discovered, that we always work the left arm or leg of opponents, Irish whips are always left wrist to left wrist, and for positioning purposes, like a dance, we always turn to our right. I had never picked up on this detail in all my years watching.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“HOME AWAY FROM HOME:
PHILADELPHIA The City of Brotherly Love. Except a lot of people are mean. Not really mean, it’s just a city with people who take no shit and don’t suffer fools. I felt at home in Philly immediately. I stayed in Manayunk, a super-hilly neighborhood. Sketchy as all hell driving in the wintertime. I think of the arena, Flyers games, Dev’s Grandma’s Italian stuffing, dive bars that look like somebody’s house. I never had a dog in the fight about which place delivered the best cheesesteak. … Those conversations between proud Philadelphians can get tense. I thought they were all pretty good, but, boy, did I fall in love with Wawa.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“On one’s first day it was customary for Doc to bring the new person up to the front of the class to introduce themselves. Doc would ask you to tell a joke. … I had been warned of this tradition, so when I got up in front of everyone I was prepared. “So, you got a joke” Doc asked. I hit the audience with the following gem: “How’d the computer get so fat? … He downloaded too many cookies.” Crickets. A complete swing and a miss. Maybe not complete. One person laughed: Derrick Bateman, who would go on to become one of my first Tampa friends.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“The last couple months since I’d turned heel … a change I once hoped would be my salvation … had been the lowest, most disappointing, infuriating, frustrating, agonizing period of my career. Vince was very hands-on with my new heel persona, whatever the fuck that was supposed to be, writing scripts I was to follow verbatim. They all sucked. He even went so far as to script my matches. They all sucked. He had begun to infiltrate the house shows now too, sending detailed formats to the stressed-out producers 30 minutes before bell time, and demanding I cut cheesy heel promos to the audience as I walked to the ring.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Then it’s a drive to Pittsburgh for TV where I see Hunter. He’s real beat up, but the pride is evident in his face. That twinkle in his eye you never get to see, almost like he had reconnected with a little part of himself, that part of him that just wanted to be a “rassler.” Vince loved it. Steph was really stoked about it too. Pat can’t stop talking about it. He’s asking people in catering: “Oh! My god! Did you see that match?!” This all makes me feel good. I’m proud every time somebody comes up to tell me how much they enjoyed watching it, that it felt really unique. That match doesn’t have any historical significance and will probably just be another one lost in the annals of time. I doubt you’ll find that shit on Peacock or whatever, but I hope the people that were there have fond memories of it. Maybe it was the first show they brought their kids to, or it was just a fun night out with the gang drinking giant cans of Molson Canadian and watching some wrestling. A night at the matches. Maybe some kid got a blow job in the parking lot. I’d like to think so. I’d go on to wrestle Hunter a few more times, in places like Belgium and the UK. We always had dope matches. Turns out that HHH kid can work. He’s just gotta do something about those skinny calves.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“Ultimately, I was placed in a full-body bear costume and left to rampage through the house, screaming obscenities while onlookers took shelter behind furniture so as not to get swiped in the face by a paw. When this wild animal wandered into the backyard to forage in the grass, one poor bystander was hit by a running dropkick that was described to me as an assault by a cross between Doug Furnas and a 6'2" Teletubby on Meth. Many just enjoyed the show and took Polaroids. Luckily, only the cops showed up and nobody called animal control.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“We’ve done karaoke in Tokyo and filled up on gas and stocked up on snacks at Buc-ees truck stop in Texas (THE BEST truck stops).”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“You got a name?” the ring announcer asked me. I’m sure I had thought of a million ideas, but I was drawing a blank. This was all happening fast, and I had nothing. I totally froze. A wrestler who went by the name Tack turned to Cody, “He’s like the F’n guy from the movie, Varsity Blues, Jonathan Moxley!” In the movie the guy’s name is Jonathan Moxon. So thankfully, he had actually messed it up. Cody gave the OK sign to the ring announcer. I was busy pissing my pants, so I didn’t offer anything. Just like that, I had a name, a name I like to think I’ve defined as my own. The fact that women wearing whipped-cream bikinis are often lurking around every corner ready to accost me is purely a coincidence.”
― Jon Moxley, MOX

“It’s this thing. … Shit! You see, I was completely comfortable in my world where the G1 didn’t exist until a few minutes ago, but now I feel like I have to go or I’m a coward. It intimidated me, but I can’t live in a world where I backed down from a challenge, where I was scared, where I took the easy road, where I had the chance to do something extraordinary and I took the safe option. There was no choice now. Rocky couldn’t have put less pressure on me the way he mentioned it, but the way my brain works, he may as well have said to me, “You won’t do the G1, you pussy!”
― Jon Moxley, MOX