Tim Minchin > Quotes

“You know what they call alternative medicine that's been proved to work? - Medicine.”
― Tim Minchin

“Science adjusts its views based on what's observed
Faith is the denial of observation so that belief can be preserved.”
― Tim Minchin

“Isn’t this enough? Just this world? Just this beautiful, complex wonderfully unfathomable world? How does it so fail to hold our attention that we have to diminish it with the invention of cheap, man-made myths and monsters?”
― Tim Minchin

“Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts.”
― Tim Minchin

“Isn't this enough? Just this world? Just THIS?”
― Tim Minchin

“A famous bon mot asserts that opinions are like arse-holes, in that everyone has one. There is great wisdom in this… but I would add that opinions differ significantly from arse-holes, in that yours should be constantly and thoroughly examined.

We must think critically, and not just about the ideas of others. Be hard on your beliefs. Take them out onto the verandah and beat them with a cricket bat.... Be intellectually rigorous. Identify your biases, your prejudices, your privilege.”
― Tim Minchin

“Please don’t make the mistake of thinking the arts and sciences are at odds with one another. That is a recent, stupid, and damaging idea. You don’t have to be unscientific to make beautiful art, to write beautiful things.

If you need proof: Twain, Adams, Vonnegut, McEwen, Sagan, Shakespeare, Dickens. For a start.

You don’t need to be superstitious to be a poet. You don’t need to hate GM technology to care about the beauty of the planet. You don’t have to claim a soul to promote compassion.

Science is not a body of knowledge nor a system of belief; it is just a term which describes humankind’s incremental acquisition of understanding through observation. Science is awesome.”
― Tim Minchin

“Understanding that you can’t truly take credit for your successes, nor truly blame others for their failures will humble you and make you more compassionate.

Empathy is intuitive, but is also something you can work on, intellectually.”
― Tim Minchin

“Don’t Seek Happiness - Happiness is like an orgasm: if you think about it too much, it goes away. Keep busy and aim to make someone else happy, and you might find you get some as a side effect. We didn’t evolve to be constantly content. Contented Australopithecus Afarensis got eaten before passing on their genes.”
― Tim Minchin

“I am no nihilist. I am not even a cynic. I am, actually, rather romantic. And here’s my idea of romance: You will soon be dead. Life will sometimes seem long and tough and, god, it’s tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad. And then you’ll be
old. And then you’ll be dead.”
― Tim Minchin

“Arts degrees are awesome. And they help you find meaning where there is none. And let me assure you, there is none. Don’t go looking for it. Searching for meaning is like searching for a rhyme scheme in a cookbook: you won’t find it and you’ll bugger up your soufflé.”
― Tim Minchin

“The more you know, the harder you will find it to make up your mind, it doesn't really matter if you find it. You can't see which grass is greener, chances are it's neither and either way it's easier to see the difference when you're sitting on the fence.”
― Tim Minchin

“It's the fine balance of caffeine and alcohol that bookends my days”
― Tim Minchin

“I don't know what it is about "magic happens"-stickers on cars but every time I see one I wanna get out my permanent marker and sneak over and write underneath it "so does cot death".”
― Tim Minchin

“Tim Minchin's musings on Tony, the first 'fish' ever to have feet:

Imagine what Tony would think, standing there on his brand new feet on the brink of the beginnings of mankind as we know it... if he could look forward just a few short... hundreds of millions of years... to see one of his descendants... an Israeli Jew by the name of Jesus, having a nail hammered through his feet... the very feet that Tony provided him with, as a punishment for having a, sort of, schizophrenic discourse with a God who was created by Mankind to explain the existence of feet in the absence of the knowledge of the existence of Tony.”
― Tim Minchin

“We divide the world -to stop us feeling frightened- into wrong and into right, into black and into white, into real men and fairies, into status quo and scary. We divide the world into terrorists and heroes, into normal folk and weirdos, into good people and pedos, yeah we want the world binary, binary, but it's not that simple.

We divide the world into liberals and gun-freaks, into atheists and fundies, into teetotallers and junkies, into chemical and natural, into fictional and factual, into science and supernatural, but it's actually, naturally, not that white and black

The more you know, the harder you will find it, to make up your mind, and it doesn't really matter if you find you can't see which grass is greener -chances are it's neither- and either way it's easier to see the difference when you're sitting on the fence -cause it's not that simple-

From: The Fence (An Anthem to Ambivalence)”
― Tim Minchin

“I don't go in for ancient wisdom
I don't believe just 'cos ideas are tenacious it means they're worthy”
― Tim Minchin

“Burning a book is like burning a bra. After the adrenalin rush of the symbolic moment wears off, all you're left with is a pile of ashes and unsupported boobs.”
― Tim Minchin

“There are children in Africa, starving to death, and you don't hear them whinging.”
― Tim Minchin

“Art is any expression of an idea into which you've put a bit of fucking effort.”
― Tim Minchin, You Don't Have To Have A Dream: Advice for the Incrementally Ambitious

“Churches are just sports teams but with mascots who can fly”
― Tim Minchin

“Happiness is like an orgasm, if you think about it too much it goes away.”
― Tim Minchin

“I’m not even slightly interested in whether I’m remembered I say Ashes to ashes Dust to dust Gimme a tombstone if you feel you must
Sayin’ here lies a clown who wrote some songs
He talked too much and stayed too long”
― Tim Minchin

“As we hit the ground I wanna be smiling Happily Hades-bound If this plane goes down”
― Tim Minchin

“A valuable idea is usually one that has been carefully considered. Our feelings are not virtuous purely by virtue of how keenly we feel them. Take time to hone your opinions, then take pride in how you express them.”
― Tim Minchin, You Don't Have To Have A Dream: Advice for the Incrementally Ambitious

“I been a bigot and a faggot I been smug and ugly
I’m a long-haired lefty joker and a smoker of bongs.”
― Tim Minchin

“I always dreamt of coming here to see the Hollywood sign
But on their way back down we’ll ask did you have a good time
They’ll say it’s just some fucking letters on a hill”
― Tim Minchin

“Even if you're not a teacher, be a teacher. Share your ideas.”
― Tim Minchin

“Women in SUV Porsches always look miserable.”
― Tim Minchin

“Life will sometime sseem long and tough and, God, it's tiring. And you will sometimes be happy and sometimes sad. And then you'll be old. And then you'll be dead.
There is only one sensible thing to do with this empty existence, and that is: fill it.”
― Tim Minchin, You Don't Have To Have A Dream: Advice for the Incrementally Ambitious