Randy J. Paterson > Quotes

“Fashion, in Crisp’s view, is the art of denying one’s individuality in order to adopt the uniforms and dictates of culture, as determined by people who have never met you, and do not care whether you exist. The implicit goal is to cover your imperfections and become something you are not: a person who is acceptable in the eyes of others. A pleasing shell with no discernible interior. In Crisp’s words, “Fashion is what you adopt when you don’t know who you are.”
― Randy J. Paterson, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use

“Style, on the other hand, is the art of bringing your defining individual features to the fore, regardless of what others might expect or find acceptable:”
― Randy J. Paterson, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use

“Your emotions are governed not by the circumstances of your life, but by the circumstances to which you pay attention”
― Randy J. Paterson, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use

“For most of human history, we appear to have lived in tribes of seventy-five to 150 people. Those who could not handle the complexity of the relationships would go off on their own. Lions need to eat, after all. Today”
― Randy J. Paterson, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use

“•Reward is much more effective than punishment. If we want to encourage changes in someone’s behavior, we are more likely to succeed by focusing on their positive actions than by criticizing their negative behavior.”
― Randy J. Paterson, The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships

“For one week, don’t agree to anything until you’ve said to yourself, That’s a request. I can choose to say yes or no. Then, let yourself respond or put off a response until you’ve had time to think.”
― Randy J. Paterson, The Assertiveness Workbook: How to Express Your Ideas and Stand Up for Yourself at Work and in Relationships

“Happiness is incidental—a result of doing something else, pursuing some other goal, or being involved in some other activity. Pursuing happiness is like chasing squirrels: you will never overtake your quarry. To get close to a squirrel, you must arrange yourself so the squirrel will come to you. To increase happiness, you must arrange your mind or your life so happiness appears as a natural consequence.”
― Randy J. Paterson, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use

“Remember that your emotions are based on your beliefs about reality, not reality itself.”
― Randy J. Paterson, How to Be Miserable: 40 Strategies You Already Use