Keeley Bates > Quotes

“First a murder, now a break-in?” Adelaide queried to no one in particular. “I knew this town would go downhill once we started letting outsiders in.” “You’re free to move somewhere even more insular,” Phyllis pointed out. “I hear Connecticut is nice this time of year.”
― Keeley Bates, A Dead End

“Kit Wilder did not have moves like Jagger. Quite the contrary, she fully recognized that her moves were more of the Elaine from Seinfeld variety, which was why her agent, Beatrice Coleman, said she would never be invited to appear on Dancing with the Stars no matter how many times Beatrice attempted to cattle prod the producers into submission. This disappointed Beatrice more than Katherine, as Beatrice was a fan of the show and her other clients weren’t attractive or popular enough to qualify.”
― Keeley Bates, A Dead End

“He pushed his plate toward her. “Sausage? There’s plenty.” Kit pushed the plate back toward him. She didn’t want his sausage. Not today anyway.”
― Keeley Bates, A Dead End

“Your kids only start school once,’ she’d reminded him. ‘No they don’t. They start school every year.”
― Keeley Bates, The Mother Load

“Aladdin rates high for fuckability and marriage material. I mean, imagine the possibilities for sex in public places with that magic carpet.”
― Keeley Bates, The Mother Load

“When had her mother become Dr. Doolittle?”
― Keeley Bates, A Dead End

“I told you not to walk so close to it,” the other girl scolded her. She glanced at Kit. “Charlotte is dyspraxic. That means her proprioception is compromised. Do you know what that is? Most people don’t. Basically, she always needs to be aware of her surroundings or she’s likely to fall into a ditch.”
― Keeley Bates, A Dead End