Mark R. Laaser > Quotes

“Why Do We Have Expectations? An expectation is simply an unexpressed need or hope. You have expectations because you are born with needs and desires. In a perfect world, you would not need to ask for anything as a child; loving adults would have taken care of it all. In our imperfect world, your hopes to have all that you need and desire are dashed—and you are left to figure out how you will acquire them in a healthy way. From this place, you begin to develop expectations that other people will be able to help out in your life to give you what you need.”
― Mark Laaser, The Seven Desires of Every Heart

“Today, I know that whenever I start to fantasize about anything or when unwanted thoughts come into my brain, my first question is going to be, “What are these thoughts trying to tell me? What are they trying to teach me?” I don’t tell them to go away. I ask them to stay, and I interview them. Then I ask myself, “Am I particularly tired or lonely? Am I stressed and overworked? Am I feeling disconnected from my wife, family, and friends?” Then, “What do I need? How can I love myself? What do I need to ask for?” When I take time to do this, I can honestly say that I am free of unwanted thoughts and fantasies and am much more able to love others.”
― Mark R. Laaser, Taking Every Thought Captive