David Louden > Quotes

“Marilyn Monroe is pissing me off, Charlie Chaplin owes me twenty bucks, that fucker Shrek tried to fuck my girlfriend at Baskin Robbins.”
― David Louden, Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard

“One way or another we’re taking your bank. All you have to do is decide the level of persuasion we need to apply.”
― David Louden, Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard

“The boulevard was awash with the curious and the shocked as wave after wave of tourist crashed into the unmoving masses of families who had just witnessed a brawl between The Incredible Hulk and SpongeBob Squarepants over territory, boundaries and the age old issue of ownership.”
― David Louden, Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard

“Every little prick out there wants me to lift them. I had this one kid from Oklahoma, big fat shitter he was. Legs as fat as a Downers forehead screaming Up, up, Hulk up! at me for ten minutes until I had no other choice. Fat fucker damn near put my back out and then his old man stiffs me with Canadian dollars. Canadian, can you believe that shit?!”
― David Louden, Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard

“How was it they had cut to Hollywood Boulevard for a fluff piece and ended up with Gangs of New-Fucking-York?! Bonnie looked to her co-Anchor. He was wearing a good mouth for cooling soup.”
― David Louden, Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard

“They stood either side of him like haunting little genetic bookends. The one thing he’ll leave behind, two kids who called another man for help with their homework.”
― David Louden, Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard

“It was a sacrifice worthy of her and dreams are made to be killed.”
― David Louden, Bone Idol [bohn ahydl]

“Wriggling around, two fingers deep in my back end like some teenage boy unsure what he should be tugging at inside his girlfriend’s nether region I wrestled a fifty free.”
― David Louden, Lost Angeles

“With the windows in his top of the range Audi firmly in place we slowly baked ourselves and chatted over why my hatred of golf was wrong, what made a good antihero and why Paul McCartney should just fuck off.”
― David Louden, Lost Angeles

“It hadn’t always been this way, that’s a cliché, but it is a cliché for a reason. It’s not like anyone starts a relationship with nothing to say to the other person. No-one wants to feel like a complete stranger and live together because it’s easier than trying to remember who owns the copy of Almost Famous – which was mine by the way.”
― David Louden, Lost Angeles

“Propping up a seat at the bar we devour chicken wings like life does dreams”
― David Louden, Lost Angeles

“He looked along the line of children, exhibits A to C of his existence and heirs to the twisted throne of his corrupt genetics.”
― David Louden, Bone Idol [bohn ahydl]

“So you’re the little smart ass from Poleglass.”
I wanted to point out he sounded like Dr. Seuss but bit my lip and remembered the warning the old lady gave me.”
― David Louden, Bone Idol [bohn ahydl]

“I loved her; I didn’t know how to say it without breaking down the autobot façade she saw before her and revealing the ugly and scarred wreck that lived within my skin. So I played with the radio instead.”
― David Louden, Lost Angeles

“He was a shadow of the man that once intimidated us out of our home, a shell of a human being, a fragment of a father.”
― David Louden, Bone Idol [bohn ahydl]

“I sat with my toes buried in the warm yellow sand staring out towards the back door of The East. Pacific Ocean Blue was playing in the background and it had left me in a state of Bohemia as the waves crashed ashore; roaring as loud as lions.”
― David Louden, White Mexicans

“Even though we had never tied up, there was no part of my life where Danny Moretti wasn’t linked to wrestling. We both reflected for each other all the people we had lost to the business and while he had made peace with it; while he was able to see past the pain into the happiness, I had not.”
― David Louden, A Good Hand

“From what I hear he’s had enough brushes with the law since going pro to open an art studio.”
― David Louden, A Good Hand

“Kid,’ he laughed ‘you’re crazier than a shithouse rat in an Indian restaurant but you’ve got yourself a deal. Vinny! Lace up, you and the KFC are going three rounds.”
― David Louden, White Mexicans

“This was a significant step down from the live broadcast locations that the GCW frequented during my time with the company. If the exterior had seen better days then the interior had only ever read about them.”
― David Louden, Falls Count Anywhere

“There was no getting out of this one. I was too far from the ropes. The best I could do would be to tap out, take the L and bide my time. Love, like wrestling, was all about timing.”
― David Louden, Falls Count Anywhere

“Self-awareness is the most overrated trick in the book. More than ambition, more than free will, more than getting on to the property ladder early. Right now I should be at the Little Hills, you probably just call them the Hills, right?”
― David Louden, White Mexicans

“The front door burst open and in doing so, saved me from taking a beatdown from a fifteen-year-old girl. Lynda rushed the hallways whooping and wailing like a heartbroken banshee.”
― David Louden, A Good Hand

“Tossing a smile my way I nodded back to her. Veronica had come home. Somewhere in a thirty-six dollar a night shack a Nazi dwarf was making it with two call girls. Los Angeles was one hell of a city.”
― David Louden, White Mexicans

“I got back to the motel with coffee and a bag of pastries and when Marty smelt the hot caffeine enter our room he rose straight out of his bed like he was a count living in a high castle.”
― David Louden, A Good Hand

“I hit Marty with a few thunderous chops across the chest, calling the next few moves as I went. The crowd would have ate cat shit from my unwashed hands such was the heat in that arena.”
― David Louden, Falls Count Anywhere

“i’m super, it’s like my favourite meal and a birthday blowjob from Christina Hendricks in here.”
― David Louden, White Mexicans

“Prose before hoes, muthafucka! I’ll be right over.”
― David Louden, White Mexicans

“He held his hands out like he was trying to manage a lion without a wooden chair and a whip.”
― David Louden, A Good Hand