Barbara Moon > Quotes

“It’s impossible to have a relationship with a defense mechanism.  It’s impossible to have an authentic relationship when one or both are unwilling to hear what they need to work on.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“When a brave soul decides to stop avoiding pain, gets painful wounds healed, and learns to suffer well, those generational patterns can be broken and emotional growth will resume. [9]”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“Having Joy does not mean that all is great and all are happy.  It simply means we are glad to be together regardless of how we are feeling. This definition of joy is life changing—that joy is relational and takes at least two for it to work. When there are no others around who can be glad to be with us, we can learn that Jesus can be the other Person Who brings us relational joy. He is always glad to be with us regardless of circumstances or emotions. Ponder the above definition of joy—and think about the fact that Jesus is always glad to be with us.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“We learn from low-joy home environments to fear confrontation, and we learn few skills for repairing conflict. Or we learn to fight but don’t know how to repair.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“We hurt and cry without comfort and we never get to the “play” part. Remember, when we feel hurt, this is supposed to mean “Comfort is on the way.”  Unfortunately many of us did not learn that as children. For some of us, pain meant more pain is on the way—or pain meant nothing is on the way.  Comfort is vital and playing afterward even more necessary. Without comfort and play it will be very difficult to have the energy to feel our feelings.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“Because it hurts, and because we haven’t received comfort when we’ve felt hurts in the past, thinking about re-framing our hurts in order to suffer well can seem frightening to say the least.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“Having a different view of emotional pain will change our lives and our relationships.  We no longer have to hide. We no longer have to attack or blame others. We no longer have to believe that the person in front of us the problem. We no longer have to allow others to control us with their feelings. We no longer have to fear pain. Now we can be free to find environments full of joy-filled people who can help us learn the skills we need in order”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“We can manage “unhappy” when we know someone is glad to be with us regardless of circumstances.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“It can really be worth the time and effort to search for the underlying pain that is causing the destructive behavior, since healing from deep wounds can help them realize who they really are and who they really want to be.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“As Christ followers, we know that He is in us.  (“Do you not know that you are the temple of God and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?” I Corinthians 3:1) When we come to Him for healing, it’s very helpful to sense He is with us.  His very name is Immanuel—God with us.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts

“As we learn to talk with Jesus about hurts and pain, we find that our emotional pain can cease to control our lives.”
― Barbara Moon, Re-Framing Your Hurts