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“It's all right, dearheart," Dad assures me. "Folder three, scenario four: going into labor during a high-speed chase with extra-terrestrials.”
― Mothership
― Mothership
“Stop kicking me! I do not want to pee right now!”
― Mothership
― Mothership
“If you pull some lame-ass 'I'm your father' bullshit, right now, I'm going to lose it.”
― Mothership
― Mothership
“Really, for all the poetry in the world on the subject, when you get right down to it, it's mostly just boom! penis vagina.”
― Mothership
― Mothership
“I fumble for the return tab and quickly type as I continue my way down the catwalk.
Ned help!
Thank you, SmartText, for knowing how pressing my need for Ned is at this very moment.”
― Mothership
Ned help!
Thank you, SmartText, for knowing how pressing my need for Ned is at this very moment.”
― Mothership
“If anyone can ever find a way to explain to me how carrying around a sack of flour with a diaper on it is supposed to prepare you for motherhood, I will personally bake that person a chocolate cake with my practice baby's insides.”
― Mothership
― Mothership
“I am having this baby. And I will share the world with him.”
― Mothership
― Mothership
