Various > Quotes

“A little boy and his friends are being called bastards and bitches by bullies at school. The boy goes home and asks, "Dad, what are bastards and bitches?" And his dad replies, "Bitches are ladies and bastards are gentlemen." Then the boy goes upstairs to see his mom. As he enters the room, he accidentally drops a perfume bottle, and his mom says, "Shit!" "Mom, what is shit?" and she says, "Perfume." So he goes to see his dad (who is carving a chicken), and his dad cuts himself and yells, "Fuck!" The boy asks, "Dad, what does fuck mean?" and dad says "preparing." Then he follows his dad upstairs. A few minutes later his mom and dad are about to have sex when his dad says, "Where are the condoms?" The little boy asks, "What are condoms?" and his father says, "Condoms are coats and jackets." The following night his father invites over some important business clients. The boy opens the door for them and says, "Hello! Please come in, Bastards and bitches. Hang your condoms up here, my mom is upstairs rubbing shit on her face and my dad is downstairs fucking the chicken.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“مهمة الشعر أن يحمي الواقع من الإفراط في الواقعية”
― مجموعة, محمود درويش المختلف الحقيقي دراسات وشهادات

“Each and every reader comprehends the Qur’an/ Bible on a different level in tandem with the depth of his understanding. There are 4 levels of insight. The first level is the outer meaning and it is the one that the majority of people are content with. Next is the Batum- the inner level. Third there is the inner of the inner. And the fourth level is so deep it cannot be put into words and is therefore bound to be indescribable. Scholars who focus on the Sharia/ Bible know the outer meaning. Sufis/ Lightworkers know the inner meaning. Saints know the inner of the inner. The fourth level is known by prophets and those closest to God. So don’t judge the way other people connect to God. To each his own way and his own prayer. God does not take us at our word but looks deep into our hearts. It is not the ceremonies or rituals that make a difference, but whether our hearts are sufficiently pure or not. (3)”
― Taken from The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak.

“The Path to the Truth is a labour of the heart, not of the head. Make your heart your primary guide. Not your mind. Meet, challenge, and ultimately prevail over your nafs (false ego) with your heart. Knowing your ego (higher self/soul) will lead you to the knowledge of God. (2)”
― Taken from The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak.

“قال الطفل : حين تموت الطيور تدفنها الملائكة في السماء”
― مجموعة من أطفال هولندا

“You can study God through everything and everyone in the universe, because God is not confined in a mosque, synagogue or church. But if you are still in need of knowing exactly where his abode is, there is only one place to look for him: in the heart of a true lover. (4)”
― Taken from The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak.

“Whatever happens in your life, no matter how troubling things may seem, do not enter the neighbourhood of despair. Even when all doors remain closed, God will open up a new path only for you. Be thankful ! It is easy to be thankful when all is well. A Sufi/Lightworker is thankful not only for what she/he has been given, but also for what she/he has been denied. (8)”
― Taken from The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak.

“Several years ago, Great Britain funded a study to determine why the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over 1.2 million pounds. The study concluded that the reason the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to provide the man with more pleasure during sex. After the results were published, France decided to conduct their own study on the same subject. They were convinced that the results of the British study were incorrect. After three years of research at a cost of in excess of 2 million Euros, the French researchers concluded that the head of a man's penis is larger than the shaft to provide the woman with more pleasure during sex. When the results of the French study were released, Australia decided to conduct their own study. The Aussies didn't really trust British or French studies. So, after nearly three hours of intensive research and a cost of right around 75 dollars (three cases of beer), the Aussie study was complete. They concluded that the reason the head on a man's penis is larger than the shaft is to prevent your hand from flying off and hitting you in the forehead.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“A small boy asks his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the People. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense." So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what Dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father having sex with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit." ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“A panda walks into a bar. He asks the bartender how he can get a little action for the night. The bartender motions to a young woman. She talks to the panda, and they go back to her place. After having sex, the panda abruptly leaves. The next night, the woman goes to the panda's house. "You owe me money," she says. "For what?" The woman rolls her eyes and explains, "I'm a prostitute." The panda pulls out a dictionary and looks it up: "Prostitute: Has sex for money." The panda says, "I don't have to pay you. I'm a panda. Look it up." She is about to protest when the panda hands her the dictionary. The woman looks up "panda" in the dictionary, and it reads, "Panda: Eats bush and leaves.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“Three guys are drinking in a bar when a drunk comes in, staggers up to the counter, and points at the guy in the middle, shouting, "Your mom's the best sex in town!" Everyone expects a fight, but the guy ignores him, so the drunk wanders off and bellies up to the bar at the far end. Ten minutes later, the drunk comes back, points at the same guy, and says, "I just did your mom, and it was sw-eeeeet!" Again, the guy refuses to take the bait, and the drunk goes back to the far end of the bar. Ten minutes later, he comes back and announces, "Your mom liked it!" Finally, the guy interrupts. "Go home, dad, you're drunk.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“ماذا تكتب أيها الشاعر في الحرب؟
- أكتب صمتي
و تترك الكلام للمدافع؟
- نعم، فصوتها أعلى من أي صوت
و متى تعود للكلام ؟
- حين تسكت المدافع قليلاً، حين أفجر صمتي المليء بكل هذه الأصوات ، حين أجد لغتي الملائمة”
― مجموعة, محمود درويش المختلف الحقيقي دراسات وشهادات

“إنه لكثرة وجود المنفى و كثافته لم أعد أحس بأنه موجود، فقد تحول إلى نمط حياة. و حتى لو كانت فلسطين التاريخية كلها بيدي فإن ذلك لن يحررني من الإحساس بالمنفى الموجود داخلي و لست أعرف إن كنت سأشكو من وجود المنفى فيّ لأن العلاقة مع المنفى أصبح فيها شيء من الألفة و الإدمان على العزلة.
إني قد أجد المنفى معي هنا في فلسطين، وقد يكون إحساسي بالمنفى أقل في المنفى نفسه”
― مجموعة, محمود درويش المختلف الحقيقي دراسات وشهادات

“أريد،أريد
لا أعرف ماذا أريد
لأنى أريد ذلك حيناً
وأريد ذلك حيناً آخر
أريد،أريد
لن أعرف ماذا أريد
لأنى دائماً أريد كل شىء
ولا أريد أى شىء”
― مجموعة, ليس كل الأحلام قصائد

“An old lady went to visit her dentist. When it was her turn, she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants, and raised her legs. The dentist said, "Excuse me, but I'm not a gynecologist." "I know," said the old lady. "I want you to take my husband's teeth out.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But, there is, unseen by most, an Underworld, a place that is just as real, but not as brightly lit, a Dark side. The Dark Side is always there, waiting for us to enter, waiting to enter us. Until next time, try to enjoy the daylight!”
― Tales From the Dark Side

“Two guys sneak into a farmer's orchard and start eating the fruit. The farmer sees them and comes out with a shotgun. "Since you guys like fruit so much go pick 100 of whatever fruit you want," said the farmer. The first guy decides to pick grapes. When he gets 100 he goes back to the farmer. The farmer says, "Now shove 'em all up your ass." The guy gets all 100 up his ass. He feels really bad, but then he starts to laugh. "Why are you laughing?" asks the farmer. And the guy replies, "My friend is out picking watermelons!”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“أصبح هناك إدمان في لغتنا و إفراط في كتابة الموضوع كموضوع، و ليس كحياة إنسانية”
― مجموعة, محمود درويش المختلف الحقيقي دراسات وشهادات

“أنا لا أقصد التعالي على الواقع، بل أقصد أن نكتب قصتنا و قلت لهم واصلوا كتابة ما كُنْتُمْ تكتبون، و إذا رأيتم أن ما تكتبونه غلط فاتركوه، فنحن لنا قصتنا كبشر، و عندنا أسئلتنا الوجودية و خوفنا من المجهول، لنا غرائزنا، هذا هو شغل الأدب، و هذا ما ليست لإسرائيل علاقة به، حتى المكان نفسه، نحن لم نكتبه جيداً، أنا أعطي فرضيات متطرفة لنصل إلى أجوبة بسيطة و ليس الموضوع هو أنه إذا انسحبت إسرائيل فإن أدبنا سينتهي”
― مجموعة, محمود درويش المختلف الحقيقي دراسات وشهادات

“A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that tiny hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to slip the dying worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from Grandma. ♦◊♦◊♦◊♦”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“أعاني من أزمة ثقة بالنفس و أغبط الشعراء السعداء بكمالهم، فأنا دائماً أندم على أنني طبعت كتباً و أتمنى لو أنه الآن صدر ديواني الأول، كي أبيد ما أريد، هذه لعنة المعرفة؛ كلما عرفت أكثر كلما كانت الكتابة أصعب و تعرف أنك لم تعمل شيئاً يُذكر”
― مجموعة

“If I had more time, I would have written a shorter letter.”
― Many

“يجب أن تتحاور مع الكل، يجب أن يكون طموحك عالياً جداً لكي تكون نموذجك ، يجب أن تكون مرجعيتك هي الأرقى، فأي شاعر آخر هو أهم منك”
― مجموعة, محمود درويش المختلف الحقيقي دراسات وشهادات

“Nothing is ever as it seems nor is it otherwise.”
― The Mediator in The Carpenter

“A photograph is the pause button on life.”
― Ty Holland

“Any Justification that does not lead to Biblical sanctification and mortification of sinful desires is a false justification no matter how many Solas you attach to it”.
“See that your chief study be about the heart, that there God’s image may be planted, and his interest advanced, and the interest of the world and flesh subdued, and the love of every sin cast out, and the love of holiness succeed; and that you content not yourselves with seeming to do good in outward acts, when you are bad yourselves, and strangers to the great internal duties. The first and great work of a Christian is about his heart.” ~ Richard Baxter
Never forget that truth is more important to the church than peace ~ JC Ryle
"Truth demands confrontation. It must be loving confrontation, but there must be confrontation nonetheless.” ~ Francis Schaeffer
I am not permitted to let my love be so merciful as to tolerate and endure false doctrine. When faith and doctrine are concerned and endangered, neither love nor patience are in order...when these are concerned, (neither toleration nor mercy are in order, but only anger, dispute, and destruction - to be sure, only with the Word of God as our weapon. ~ Martin Luther
“Truth must be spoken, however it be taken.” ~ John Trapp
“Hard words, if they be true, are better than soft words if they be false.” – C.H. Spurgeon
“Oh my brethren, Bold hearted men are always called mean-spirited by cowards” – CH Spurgeon
“The Bible says Iron sharpens Iron, But if your words don't have any iron in them, you ain't sharpening anyone”.
“Peace often comes as a result of conflict!” ~ Don P Mt 18:15-17 Rom 12:18
“Peace if possible, truth at all costs.” ~ Martin Luther
“The Scriptures argue and debate and dispute; they are full of polemics… We should always regret the necessity; but though we regret it and bemoan it, when we feel that a vital matter is at stake we must engage in argument. We must earnestly contend for the truth, and we are all called upon to do that by the New Testament.” Martyn Lloyd-Jones (Romans – Atonement and Justification)
“It is one of the severest tests of friendship to tell your friend his faults. So to love a man that you cannot bear to see a stain upon him, and to speak painful truth through loving words, that is friendship.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher
“Truth bites and it stings and it has a blade on it.” ~ Paul Washer
Soft words produce hard hearts. Show me a church where soft words are preached and I will show you a church of hard hearts. Jeremiah said that the word of God is a hammer that shatters. Hard Preaching produces soft hearts. ~ J. MacArthur

Glory follows afflictions, not as the day follows the night but as the spring follows the winter; for the winter prepares the earth for the spring, so do afflictions sanctified, prepare the soul for glory. ~ Richard Sibbes
“Cowards never won heaven. Do not claim that you are begotten of God and have His royal blood running in your veins unless you can prove your lineage by this heroic spirit: to dare to be holy in spite of men and devils.” ~ William Gurnall”
― Multiple Authors

“teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn't paying attention, so she asks him, "If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?" Johnny says, "None." The teacher asks, "Why?" Johnny says, "Because the shot scared them all off." The teacher says, "No, there are two left, but I like how you're thinking." Then Johnny asks the teacher, "You see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor. One is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream. Which one is married?" And the teacher responds, "The one sucking her ice cream." Johnny says, "No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you're”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“Two hookers were on a street corner. They started discussing business and one of the hookers said, "Yep, it's gonna be a good night, I smell cock in the air." The other hooker looked at her and said, "No, no. I just burped.”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“were having a big argument at breakfast. He shouted at her, "You aren't so good in bed either!" then stormed off to work. By mid-morning, he decided he'd better make amends and called home. "What took you so long to answer?" he asked. "I was in bed," she replied. "What were you doing in bed this late?" "Getting a second”
― Various, 101 Dirty Jokes - sexual and adult's jokes

“عشرون دقيقة لي، لأراني بأجساد احتمالاتي، بالممكنات التي كان لها أن تكون، بالأبعاد الكثيرة.. بالوفرة التي لم أتشبث بها طويلاً، عشرون دقيقة لي لأعيش ذلك العالم بلذة كما لو أنني فعلت معه أكثر من الحلم به..
كما لو أنني صافحته بحب
فتحقق”
― مجموعة, ٢٠ دقيقة