Adam Douglas > Quotes

“Before anything else, we have to say that President Jimmy Carter was a stand-up guy who had the misfortune of having a less than qualified interpreter with him. When Carter, on a visit to Poland, made a speech saying he wanted to know their people’s “desires for the future,” his interpreter wrongly said that President Carter desired Poland sexually.”
― Adam Douglas, Mega Fails: The Hilariously Funny Book of Humorous Blunders and Misadventures

“Felines were venerated and worshiped in ancient Egypt as the embodiment of goddess Bastet’s spirit. In fact, the Egyptians respected cats so much that the invading Persians adorned their shields with them in 525 BC in the hope that the Egyptians would refuse to throw spears at them. They were right, and the Persians won the battle.”
― Adam Douglas, Crazy True Tales - A funny book for adults: Anecdotes and hilarious true stories. For the coffee table, bathroom or as a conversation starter

“A good ad agency should know to never, ever mess with puppies. Yet somehow, Godaddy.com made the unspeakable blunder of creating a commercial where the puppy is not just unloved but also somewhat mistreated. The ad starts by pulling at the heartstrings, showing the puppy getting thrown from the back of a pick-up truck. The puppy then braves distance, weather, and terrain to get back to his owner, who is excited to see “Buddy” - but only because she had already sold him online with the help of a Godaddy website. The ad closes with this hag of a woman sending Buddy away and shouting, “Ship him out!” While our feelings for our fellow human beings can sometimes be mixed, our adoration for puppies is universal. If there’s one rule in marketing, it is this - thou shalt not mess with the puppies! Godaddy.com received a gargantuan amount of backlash and millions of inquiries regarding the well-being of Buddy the puppy. Can you believe this ad was supposed to run in the Superbowl?”
― Adam Douglas, Mega Fails: The Hilariously Funny Book of Humorous Blunders and Misadventures

“How to have a successful relationship   Factoid: “Successful relationships” were invented in the 20th century along with washing powder and consumerism. Like washing powder, the concept has evolved so you no longer need to separate the whites.”
― Adam Douglas, The Bitter Man's Guide to Women