Rachel Hochhauser > Quotes

“My experience of happiness is that it comes in two forms: a potent dose so extreme that you are overwhelmed with fear it will disappear, or a subtle kind that envelops you with such stealth you’re hardly aware of its presence.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“My book of maxims—life, distilled—would be short:

You do not need to be afraid. You do not have to be good. You do not need to hide your fleshy interiors behind a carapace of frills and lace. Life is not meant for measurement.

There is but one beat to heed. Live like this and you will know with certainty:

You are the scariest thing in the woods.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“All wives are puppets until they learn to master the strings.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Because our happiness was not overwhelming—because it was subtle and constant and threaded through every day and every interaction— I did not know to covet it, to hold on to it, that it might suddenly be taken away.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“No one tells you now to mother. It is presumed to be buried within you, a deep, primordial instinct that awakens in your body—in your breast —when the time is right.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“A child believes everything you say, everything you tell them, and there is a precise moment, you feel it exactingly, a little tap in your gut, when the belief snaps.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Goodness is always contextual.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Because our happiness was not overwhelming – because it was subtle and constant and threaded through every day and every interaction – I did not know to covet it, to hold on to it, that it might suddenly be taken away.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“The love of a mother does away with scales and measurement altogether; it envelops and understands and embraces what is cracked along with what is beautiful.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“We women were born and bred to expect marriage, and it all happened when we were too young to know better. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen: so young a girl’s first breath was still a part of the earth’s atmosphere. So young you pinched your cheeks to make them pink, you strung flowers in your hair, you denuded daisies whispering of love, you believed in the power of the moon and in the twinkling of the stars as if all of nature and its tidal pulls would take care of you, so blind to the truth of what lay ahead. I later came to realize: Nature was a system, not a nurturer. For every life, there was death; for every bit of laughter, there were tears. For every anguish, there was joy. For the broken bones and crushed eggshells, there were small miracles. For the predators, there was prey. For the herbivores, there were plants, and for the carnivores, there was meat, and every meal for every being caused some other living thing harm. Nature was balance.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“No one tells you how to mother. It is presumed to be buried within you, a deep primordial instinct that awakens in your body—in your breast—when the time is right. We mothers are expected to have that instinct. Our intuition. Our supernatural understanding of our children's habits and bodies and rhythms. You learn to trust your knowledge.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Any mother who tells you she loves all her children—or appraises them—equally is lying. There is no way to measure or balance love. Love is an animal of its own bidding and inclination; it prowls and pounces and feels; it grows and it hurts and it withers. My love for the girls was ranging and reaching. It assessed them because assessment was a part of protection. It saw their differences”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Respectability was a lifeboat that would float the girls along the gentle tides of stability, straight onto the secure banks of marriage. A leaking roof would not be a bother if they lived beneath a new one.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“you love a bird, you should set it free and see if it will fly back to you.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“But if joy were a commodity, I’d trade all I have—all that’s left of it—for my daughters. Rosie. Mathilde.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Marriage is not a savior. Just a choice. And while the blue dress still sits in paper, it will serve as a witness of, not a cause for, happiness.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Walls were designed to keep danger out. A cage was built to keep a threat contained.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“I think you will find being a woman is nothing like being a girl. And that grace and justice are sometimes pursued by means less graceful and less just.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“No one tells you how to mother. It is presumed to be buried within you, a deep, primordial instinct that awakens in your body—in your breast—when the time is right. We mothers are expected to have that instinct. Our intuition. Our supernatural understanding of our children’s habits and bodies and rhythms.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“think we’ve all come to see: Marriage is not a savior. Just a choice.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“There is no way to measure or balance love. Love is an animal of its own bidding and inclination; it prowls and pounces and feels; it grows and it hurts and it withers.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“We don’t all draw our angels with the same hand.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“We dug another grave that afternoon. A small one. A little burrow carved into the rich earth beneath the oak tree. The excavation was gentle and done with all the care our hands could muster. But it was only my hands that lowered Lucy, wrapped in linen, into the ground.
We took turns dropping shovelfuls of dirt. Saying goodbye. And when everyone had said their part, I knelt on the grass in front of the dark spot of upturned ground and offered my falcon wordless gratitude. For what good are words when you have all of life to express? I had thought myself Lucy's teacher, showing her, reminding her, of the correct ways of being: loyalty, patience, and fidelity. Except, it had been she that taught me: Loyalty. Patience. Fidelity.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“A map is made and then the land changes and the map does not change with it. And yet we respect maps as if they are the law”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Opportunities came and they were small and unlikely and easy to overlook. You had to stick your fingers into them and pinch the edges and pull. You had to widen the aperture of possibility.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“My experience of happiness is that it comes in two forms: a potent dose so extreme that you are overwhelmed with fear it will disappear”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“I have wondered: Was it deceitful to orchestrate a marriage based on my needs? We are all designed to sate our desires—and what is hunger if not a drive to survive? Is deceit less insidious if it is with noble purpose? There is nothing more noble than taking care of children—even if they are your own.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“the line between possibility and fantasy is proving to be exceedingly fine.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“You do not need to be afraid. You do not have to be good. You do not need to hide your fleshy interiors behind a carapace of frills and lace. Life is not meant for measurement. There is but one beat to heed. Live like this and you will know with certainty: You are the scariest thing in the woods.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine

“Despite my mother’s best efforts, I was enthralled with the folktale as a child. It was only as an adult, and through mothering my own daughters, that I found the need to revisit a tale that, across centuries, languages, and cultures, has continued to tell young women that, if they are beautiful, nice, and follow the rules, they might be lucky enough to be “picked” by a prince.”
― Rachel Hochhauser, Lady Tremaine